It's My Eighth Bandiversary!

I can hardly believe it's been eight years since my lap band surgery.  So many good things have happened since then.  I got to enjoy feeling in control of my weight for the first time in my life, to stop a terrible cycle of negative self-talk about my weight, and to become comfortable in my skin.  But it's so much more than that.

Eight years ago today, I changed my life and the course of my future.  By freeing myself from the food and fat prison, I've been able to live in a way that I couldn't before.  Working out is part of my life now, and I really enjoy it.  I love good food and cooking, and I'm able to enjoy both without the guilt I used to feel because I now have the ability (thank you, band) to stop before I eat too much.  I go hiking, enjoy the beach and have a wardrobe full of beautiful dresses, cute jeans and other things I couldn't have fit into eight years ago.

During the past eight years, I met and married my incredible husband, who is the warmest, kindest person I've ever known, and I love him more than words can say.  My career is going gangbusters, and the roster of clients who want to work with me practically makes me giddy.  (The side effect of work going so well is that I've been working my @$$ off for the past two years, and the lack of free time makes it hard for me to get in as many workouts as I'd like.  So, yes, I am STILL carrying around that extra 5 pounds, which is really annoying to me, particularly, since I know that I haven't lost it because I haven't done the work to lose it.  Whatever.  I'll get there when I get there.)

I am going to get real here.  I hated being fat, and I am grateful not to be obese or overweight anymore.  I know that it's very unlikely that I would be married to my husband today if I met him at my heaviest -- he wouldn't have looked twice at me.  Now that he knows me, I know that he would love me at any weight, but I can't imagine that our relationship would have gotten off the ground if I'd been at 230 when we met.  I also have to think that at least some part of my success at work has to do with my appearance.  There are all kinds of studies (e.g., see this article from Psychology Today) finding that people make negative judgments about obese people, and I'm happy that my weight doesn't have me starting off at a disadvantage.

I worry when I read about so many others having to have their bands removed.  I don't want to lose mine, and I do what I can to take care of it by going in for an annual esophagram and check-in with my band doctor, by not keeping it too tight, and by doing what I can to avoid getting stuck and PBing (not that it doesn't happen from time to time).  I still weigh myself nearly every day to make sure that my weight isn't creeping up, I pay attention to what I eat, and I workout 2-3 times a week (I need 3-4, but this is what I can do right now).

Would I do the surgery again if I could go back in time?  You bet your @$$ I would.  It's one of the very best things I've ever done for myself, and I have never -- not for a second -- wished I hadn't done it.  So, dear band -- and dear bandster friends -- I am very glad to be on this journey with you through the past eight years and counting.  Cheers!

Sage Advice

Lap Band Gal posted a great article, written by my doctor's husband, Dr. George Fielding.  Dr. Fielding has been banded for 16 years -- a number that gives a long-time bandster like me a lot of hope that my band may last for many more years to come.  In any event, his advice is very good, and I encourage you to check it out...here is a LINK.

And, just for fun, here is a photo of the hubby & me at a highly fancy white tie party last month! (Wow, did he look amazing!) :)

How Quickly I Forget.... An Extremely Belated 7th Bandiversary Post!

In October of 2014, I was completely shocked to realize -- very late in the day -- that it was my sixth Bandiversary.  Cut to October 2015... and November, December... New Year's.... all the way to today, when I realized that I'd completely forgotten to post on my SEVENTH Bandiversary.  

With around five years of maintenance (let's not count that pesky five pound bump, OK?) under my belt, living with the band has become really normal to me.  This goal-plus-five pounds feels a little heavy to me.  It takes some effort for me to think about what it was like to carry around 70 more pounds every day.  That said, I still feel incredibly grateful.  Sometimes, when I'm really pushing myself in a workout, I think "I could not have done this seven years ago" or "Wow.  I can't believe that I've become someone who is a regular at this kind of workout!"  It blows my mind a little, and I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that this is reality.

There is no secret to maintenance.  You have to watch what you eat, and you have to work out.  You can't do nothing (or worse, sabotage yourself) and expect that the weight won't come back on.  The five pounds I put on last May aren't a mystery.  I know what I did and why I haven't lost them.  In my own defense, I've been working my a$$ off all year and have very little free time.  But the math is simple -- I've been getting about one workout less a week for the entire year, and I've been eating like I did when I got that extra workout.  Presto changeo... five pounds-o.

Anyway, I haven't given up on losing it.  In fact, I upped my workouts and got in four solid ones last week -- yoga, spin and two killer barre classes (OMG, I was walking like a robot, I was so stiff!).  This week is hectic at work, but I'm still going to get in three workouts, and I'll try for four again next week.

This isn't a sprint, and it's not even a marathon.  It's like a really long, never ending walk.  It's important to keep the plan sustainable so that you'll stick with it, and to make it as fun and as enjoyable as possible.  Speaking of which, when I get back to my goal, I'm going shopping.  Stay tuned!