Saturday in Brooklyn

I was looking at some photos on FB this morning, saw someone's outfit, and had a revelation. . . I am going to buy some white pants this summer! I love how they look on other people, but I've always felt that darker colors were better for me because they hid my weight better. But now, I think they might actually look good. Definitely going to try some on when I start shopping for summer.

OK. . . so on to more interesting news. I haven't blogged about this, but after I called things off with C, we had a serious conversation, and he told me that he really wanted us to stay friends. This wasn't the usual "let's be friends" thing, he actually meant it and has been making an effort. In fact, if he'd put this much of an effort into it in the first place, I would have been much happier! So, about a month or so ago, he invited me to have dinner with him at an Indian place that I like, and we had a really good time -- great conversation. He treated me to the meal and even walked me home afterwards, which was very sweet.

At dinner, he said that he wanted to make plans to cook dinner for me at his place (which I actually had never seen -- he lives in Brooklyn). He followed up, but there wasn't a good day for us to do this before he left to go to South by Southwest in Austin and I headed to Houston. Anyway, he got in touch after he got back, and we made plans to have brunch out in Brooklyn yesterday.

Gorilla Coffee in Park Slope, Brooklyn (they have amazing coffee)

I met him at his apartment, which was nice to finally see, brought a bone for his ridiculously adorable dog, got the apartment tour, and then off we went to brunch at a very cute Latin American spot in Park Slope. We had a great time catching up (I went to college in Austin, so I was really interested to hear how he'd liked the town, what bands he had seen, etc.) and then we spent the afternoon walking around and going into all of these cute shops on Fifth Avenue. The weather was gorgeous, and we had a really fun time.

We also went to a really cool local beer shop where they have tons of varieties, and you can buy beers, really good cheeses and sandwiches and enjoy them on these long wooden tables that you share with other guests. We had a beer there, and C took this photo of me.

While there, we had a chat about this whole "friend" thing and how it's working out. Both of us agreed that it seems to be working out, but that it's a little tough because there is still a lot of chemistry and attraction there. And. . . cut to about 30 minutes later. . . when all that platonic resolve went right out the window. . . Oy! But I did have a pretty fantastic day. . .

Patent. . Prom!

Ever since a Google Alert outed me to a friend, I'm a little paranoid about actually mentioning the name of events that I attend! Hence the ". . . " in the title of this post!

This is an event that I attend every year. Basically, all of the attorneys in my field who are in or have contacts in NYC come out for this event each year. It's a big black tie event, and I generally run into a ton of people who I've gotten to know through the years.

My friends Kathryn and Monique.

At last year's event, I was already 34 pounds down and feeling much better than I had in recent years. This event was always a tough one for me because I'd have to run into people who knew me before I put on the bulk of my weight, and up until last year, I was progressively heavier every year. I put a story about that in a post about last year's event.

Why?! Why is this man not into women?! So handsome though. . :)

This year, things were so different. I feel just great about my weight right now (thank you God, band, boot camp, and so many more people and things!) and had that amazing Karen Millen dress to wear. I just felt great and was excited about seeing old friends and colleagues. The event was so much fun, we had a really great table at our dinner this year (since I put it together of clients and one of my partners who I really like), and it was really nice to hear all of the positive things that people who I hadn't seen for a while say. NSV!!

We joked that Kathryn was trying to see if I have a six pack (um, yeah, not quite there. .) but maybe she was trying to feel my port! LOL!

Hijinx in Houston!

Hi, everybody! I was in Houston for a long weekend and had a great time! I'd gone down to visit with family and friends and to see my best friend (Grace) & her husband's new house. Grace incentivized my trip by getting tickets to see Muse for us both, and her brother and sister-in-law (good friends of mine who you may remember from my 4th of July post) came down from Austin to go with us.

But first. . . we had some amazing TexMex. Honestly, I could put so much food porn up from my weekend, but I'll spare you most of it! I had forgotten how much better the TexMex is in Texas than it is here in NYC! It just does not compare!!

Ridiculously amazing mango margaritas and queso. . .

The concert was great. . Silversun Pickups opened, and were really good, and Muse had an amazing stage and put on a great performance. And, of course I got a kick out of having to wear a wrist band (we had floor "seats") that says "Entering Moshing Area Is At Your Own Risk" just a few months before my 40th b-day! :)

Here is Muse's set . . they came out on lifts in these skyscraper-like structures. Later in the concerts, the lifts went down to stage level. It really made for a cool presentation, and the music was great!

I also got to spend time with my dad and Margie (my step-mother), and we had a blast going out for margaritas and fajitas (yum yum!!) at one of my favorite spots in Houston. Funny thing. . my band seemed to have gotten tighter on the flight in, and it has stayed pretty tight since then. So, despite that I had plenty of TexMex and drinks during the visit, I wasn't actually able to eat all that much. The scale is actually still being friendly. As of this morning, it's only bounced 2/10ths of a pound above my lowest weight, which is a very small bounce and makes me optimistic that I may get that last pound off sooner than later!. . .Stay tuned!

Me, Margie & Dad having a really fun night out!

SEVENTY-FOUR!! It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!!

I could hardly believe my eyes this morning!! The scale was at 74 down!!! This is particularly surprising because it's TOM, and I don't usually lose anything while that is going on. This means that I just have ONE POUND TO GOAL!! One measley little pound is all! I am only one pound overweight!!!

My BMI has gone from an unhealthy 37 to 25.2 . . . just .3 from my ideal range. I almost feel like I am dreaming because it is so amazing to me that I was able to take off virtually all of my extra weight. Wow. Looks like getting back on track with exercise last week and this week is doing the trick. I did 2 Boot Camps and yoga last week and have done yoga and one Boot Camp so far this week.

And, on another note, Happy St. Patrick's Day!! That warm embrace from my scale this morning may be the only kiss I get today, but that is OK with me!! :)

Sunday Vlog

I had a bit of trouble getting this file small enough to upload, but finally did it! Of course, nothing to be done about me cutting off my chin in half the video! :) By the way, here is a link to a great site with instructions about how to shrink video size using QuickTime Pro.

And. . . for all of my complaining, the scale was down another .2 this morning! I know it's only a fraction of a pound, but I'll take what I can get! I am now 2.8 pounds from my goal! (And 12.8 from my aspirational goal!) Woo-hoo!

What should you do when you finally get what you want? Everything!

A conversation that I had with Yana at brunch on Sunday really got me thinking. We were talking about events that we had sat out on in the past because of our weight. I was thinking of a day about two years ago when I was out on Shelter Island with PP and a few other (super athletic) friends, and everyone wanted to go kayaking. I didn't have anything appropriate to wear, and I was worried about being able to keep up with the ultra-fit, ultra-competitive crew. I felt really humiliated by this and felt just terrible. PP encouraged me to go, but I didn't want to be out there holding him back from enjoying it with his friends. So I decided to stay at the house by myself, supposedly reading my book, but really just feeling terrible about the whole thing.

Cut to today and I'm fit enough that I would go along without a second thought if that opportunity came up today. And I could wear my bathing suit and be decently comfortable (OK. . assuming it was still summer!) if I didn't have anything else packed that would work.

So. . that got me thinking. What ELSE is there that I was avoiding because of my weight and/or fitness level that I would enjoy doing now?! And, I made a list. I'm pretty sure that I've only scratched the surface in terms of ideas. . Also, I hope you guys will put your own "to do" lists in the comments. . am sure we will get great ideas from one another!!

To do (and not necessarily in this order):

1. The first photo above is an item on the list for sure. . . ziplining in Costa Rica!

2. Hike the Inca Trail and up Machu Pichu. It's a 4-day hike, with camping in tents at night -- and I am so up for that now! Not that I wouldn't rather stay at the St. Regis, but apparently there isn't one on the trail! LOL! :)


3. Go scuba diving in the Galapagos Islands (I'm advanced certified, and actually . . this was on my pre-weight loss list too!)

4. Get -- and actually wear in public -- a cute bikini (when I'm just a wee bit closer to my aspirational goal)

5. Enjoy shopping and trying things on (OK, I've been doing this, but I'm going to do it MORE!)

A photo from Agent Provocateur . . . not that I'm going to wear a big bow on my bottom. .

6. Buy loads of lovely lingerie (and hopefully have a nice boyfriend at some point soon to appreciate it. . !)

7. Run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure (5K) again this year

8. Try new workout activities and classes (because I know I'll be able to keep up and not embarrass myself!)

9. Enjoy being out and about in hot weather because I am going to be so much more comfortable!

10. Wear clothing that shows off the fruit of all this work with my band and at the gym (within the boundaries of good taste, of course!) instead of seeking to camoflage my body. And yes, that may mean. . more color. (But not too much. . I do live in NYC for goodness sakes!) :)

So, what about you? What are you going to do when weight no longer holds you back? :)

Fun With the NYC Bandster Crew!

I had such a great day today. I met up with some of my favorite NYC area bandsters for brunch this afternoon, and we had such a fantastic time! There is something so great about being able to talk "band" with other bandsters. We were talking a mile a minute, and I would have been happy to stay for a few more hours! We also were all cracking up because when we ordered guacamole for the table, the waiter recommended that we get a double portion. . . and we were all like . . um, a single is just fine! :) I don't think we even finished it!

After lunch, Tracy and I went dress shopping at Lord & Taylor (best dress selection in the city). I found two that I liked -- one from Elie Tahari, the other from Cynthia Steffe, but with yesterday's Karen Millen purchase, thought I should cool it! Tracy found a few really cute dresses, and wound up getting one of them for an upcoming event.

One of my favorite things about hitting the 70 pound mark is that I'm finally in a size 10 -- which means that -- for the first time in YEARS! -- I can shop basically anywhere. It's actually FUN again to try things on. I thought I had lost that enjoyment forever! I didn't realize that it was so tied to my weight. Well, it turns out that it was.
It is so great that I no longer have to kill time, feigning interest in shoes and accessories waiting for my friends while they try on cute clothing that I can not wear. That was a bit torturesome, and it just reinforced all of the negative feelings I had about my weight and how I'd let it get so out of control. Cut to the present, and I'm in there grabbing an armload of frocks to try on, and having fun!

The clothing thing is something I'd been looking forward to since I first wrote out my List of Pros & Cons when I was deciding whether to get banded. It's funny though -- I only mentioned it by listing "better clothes" among the pros. I was thinking about having a broader fashion parameter and being able to wear different styles. But I don't think I fully thought out all of the petty humiliations that go hand in hand with shopping for bigger sizes when you don't feel good about your appearance. Now though, bit by bit, I'm noticing that those things no longer apply. It's a very freeing, wonderful feeling to be liberated from this. I definitely count this as a big NSV.

Just a little comparison shot. . .

It's strange, but I keep forgetting that I was ever so big. And, while I don't enjoy seeing the photographic evidence, I think it's good for me to remember that I actually let myself get that way. It reinforces the correlation between what I eat, how much I work out, and my overall appearance. So, here are some pre-band photos of me at my friend Sharon's wedding in Tuscany in September of 2007, next to a photo of me out last night in my new Karen Millen dress.

Scar Attraction Revisited. . .

I bet at least a few people might be curious to see how surgery scars look 16 months post-op, so I'm going to bare my tummy for all to see. . yikes! Most of you will remember that my doctor (Dr. Rumbaut of Monterrey, Mexico) was able to do my surgery with only two incisions. There was a little incision, which you can see toward the top of the photo, and a larger one underneath.

(If you click on this photo, you can see a bigger version. . if you dare!)

Dr. Rumbaut helped coordinate my follow-up treatments with NYU, and I've been seeing Dr. Ren (who is fantastic). She told me that my lower scar is a bit "keloid" and that I may have been allergic to the sutures. So, that scar really hasn't faded as much as it should have by now. I'm not thrilled to have it, but it does so much less to hurt my appearance than the 72 pounds it helped me to take off that it's hard to care too much!

My port is just a bit above the big scar, and it's not visible at all. I can definitely feel it if I touch it, but C never seemed to notice it during the four or so months that I was seeing him. I asked one of my best friends about it a month or so ago (he's actually someone I dated for several years, long ago) and let him touch the port (I kind of like to freak out my closest non-bandster friends with this) . . he said that he would have definitely noticed it if he was in C's position.

By the way, does anyone else like to say "port" in a funny voice? It's one of those words like "laser" that just cries out to be pronounced in a weird futuristic voice! I'll do a demo in my next vlog. . I promise! :)

SEVENTY-TWO!! AND ABOUT TIME, TOO!!

SEVENTY-TWO!!! NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL ABOUT FREAKING TIME!

OK, so it took me one month and four days . . . and a bunch of complaining. . . but the scale is finally down another .4, making me officially 72 pounds down as of this morning. WOO-HOO!! My initial goal is now exactly 3 pounds away!

I know that I'll probably bounce around for another few weeks before I see 73, but I have to say that it felt so good today to finally see an new lowest weight number! Thank you, God!! :)

Boo! More Boing!

I'm getting a little tired of this boing-ing act that I have at my current weight. I keep going up and down in a range of 3 or so pounds, and I've been bouncing around right here for about a month, despite my recent fill. It's so annoying because I'm in one 10-pound range on the high point, and another one in the low, so the way I feel when I see the number really varies based on what follows the 1!

Anyway, I keep reminding myself that I am happy and feel good at this weight. And, it wasn't too long ago that I was just thrilled to be in Onederland! So, it's not exactly a hardship to be this close to my goal, and I do realize that. But I'm SO close to goal and it's taking so long to get there! (Not that I've been perfectly focused. . as my recent post reflects!) Unfortunately, I've had a twinge in my left knee this week, so I took off of boot camp and running to give it time to heal. So, I'm not expecting much downward movement on the scale this week.

Funny thing. . .yesterday I had lunch with a colleague, and as we were going to lunch, he said "I like walking around with you -- everyone checks you out!" I had not noticed that at all, but after he said that, some man ahead of us (who was too far to be expected to hold the door) stood at the door and held it until I got there and could go through. If not for that, I would have thought my colleague was just trying to butter me up! I have to admit, it was a nice feeling! Am counting this as an NSV! :)