Technical Difficulties and Mountain Visits

My technical difficulties over the past few months have kept me from blogging as much as I'd like! Now that I finally replaced my old computer, I'm still having problems with my camera. Basically, no computer I have tried will recognize the type of device that it is, so I can't download my photos unless I put my memory chip in someone else's camera. Soooo... yesterday, I finally Googled how to fix this and found out that I could buy a memory card reader for $8. Problem solved! Hopefully it will get here soon so that I can actually use my own photos for new posts!

This past weekend was a blast. Steve and I both took off work on Friday, so we had a four-day weekend. We drove up to his parents' place in the Adirondacks with a group of eight friends (so we were 10 in all) and had a fantastic time!

On Saturday, I went up to Lake Placid with Marjorie, Steve's cousin and his two sons for the first time and checked out the town and the Olympic ski jump. Steve took another group cross country skiing, and we all met up afterwards for a drink and dinner. I was very happy with how dinner worked out. I had made two lasagne -- one mushroom (with shitake, Chantarelles, Baby Bellos and other mushrooms) and one more traditional one (tomato sauce, ground beef, eggplant and zucchini) and froze them to take on the trip. They heated up perfectly and were a big hit!

Sunday, we all went for a 6 or 7 mile hike up a road to a big lake that was frozen over. It was absolutely beautiful, and well worth braving the cold to see. BTW, after being uncomfortably cold last February when we went hiking, I used hand warmers and foot warmers this time -- they were total game changers!! I will not be doing a winter hike without them again! All in all, it was a great weekend, and I was glad for the chance to spend more time with Steve and our friends.

You want to know something kind of weird? I've kind of forgotten that I was ever fat. How strange is that? "Forgotten" is surely not the right word, but it's something like that. I mean, clearly, I remember what it was like and I recognize that I used to have 80 more pounds on me and that this was part of my experience. But I don't think about myself in relation to that weight, and it's hard for me to imagine that I was really as big as I was. I'm also still puzzled about why I let it get as bad as I did, now that I know how good it feels to be fit and much more healthy. A question for the other long-time bandsters out there -- do you feel like this too?

Baby Post Follow-up

Thank you guys so much for your thoughtful comments on my post yesterday (and e-mails, too)! Steve and I have talked about all of these issues, and we're both on the same page. We both want to have children, but we're both a bit terrified of the lifestyle changes. I don't worry about us being good parents -- he's such a loving guy, and I think I could do a decent job, too. But I do worry about the fact that we'd have to rush right into procreation mode the second we get married (assuming that happens.. I don't see no ring on my finger!), and that's a lot of pressure.

On another note, I was at Steve's a few weeks ago and saw a book on his coffee table entitled "Before You Say I Do - Important Questions for Couples to Ask Before Marriage"! I was like.. hello! What is this?!? :) I was really happy to find out that he'd bought the book for us to go over together, and that he'd already read it and left it out so that he'd remember to give it to me. I love the level of seriousness that this demonstrates, and the book has led to a few really good conversations, even though we've pretty much covered all its major topics already.

Hey... if I get married, I'll just might finally get to accomplish the one "PRO" from my pre-surgery Pro/Con List that I haven't been able to accomplish..... not being a fat bride! Hey -- maybe waiting til I was over 40 to tie the knot isn't such a bad thing after all.... ;)

Valentine's Day and Thoughts on Procreation...

St. Valentine's Day Loot for Steve!

I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now, while Steve is preparing a surprise Valentine's Day dinner for me! Happily, he sent me off with a glass of wine, some cheese and Max (my cat), so I thought I'd use this time to do a post.

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On the way home, waiting for the subway, I was thinking about how good things are right now, and I wondered to myself whether this 41 year old version of myself was what I imagined I'd be years ago. The fact that I'm not married and don't have any children is the one thing that isn't what I'd expected. But I am happy in my relationship with Steve and with my other relationships too. I also achieved my ambition of being a partner in a law firm, which is something I'd wanted since I decided on law as a career.

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Things that are even better than I'd hoped include how thin I am. Not that I'm sooooo thin at 150-ish (I bounce between 149 and 153). But, I never thought I'd get to feel good about my weight and how my body looks -- or that I'd feel like it wasn't a constant struggle. I also never dreamed that I'd be this athletic. Those parts of my life are way, way better than what I'd imagined. (The several year period I spent being obese, not-so-much!)

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I very often think about having kids, and what the future holds for me there. I really love children and always thought that I would have two (a boy and a girl, in that order, thank you very much). At the wise old age of 41, however, I see some distinct pros and cons there. Pros being that amazing love I see friends feel for their children, and all the fun parts of parenting. Cons being the constant drains on time, energy and money... and the sense of entitlement that goes along with being a kid, which surely can make any parent feel unappreciated and exhausted.

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I once had a friend tell me... "Catherine, I love my children -- don't get me wrong -- I LOVE MY CHILDREN -- but, if I had never had them, I have no doubt that I could still be a 100% self-actualized and happy person." I think about that often. Also, I've seen enough people who have kids who suck -- from the ones who are just natural born jerks to the ones who are liars, thieves and addicts -- to know that it's possible for even good parents to get a lemon. That scares the cr*p out of me. I don't want to mess up my life!

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So, sometimes I think about what it would be like if I just kept on this path. The path where I don't have to pay $30K a year in kindergarten tuition (I am not even kidding) so that I can stay in the city and my child can go to a decent school. The path where I get to relax at night and not worry if a business trip or fun trip crops up. But then, I think about being in my 70s and 80s and not having my own nuclear family to spend holidays with, and I think about not being able to watch a little person I love grow into an adult that I (fingers crossed!) love, like and respect. In so many ways, I think it's better to just have kids while you are young and haven't been spoiled by years of personal and relative financial freedom.

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But darn it. I just really like the little stinkers. What am I going to do? I know it's going to ruin this longstanding party I've been having, but part of me just wants what it wants. Oy...

TGIF....

This weekend, one of our friends got a big group of people together for... a black tie dinner at TGIFriday's, of all places! It was a ton of fun, very kitch-y and brought back lots of memories of eating out in college and high school! Above is a photo of Steve and me at the party. I found that dress at K-a-ren M-i-llen and it was on MAJOR sale... it was originally $360, and was marked down so many times that I got it for $97!! I absolutely love it!

Not too much else to report this morning. Things are generally very good. I hit spin yesterday and am on track on Operation Shred It For Cabo! :) :) I hope you are all doing well!

SHREDDING IT FOR CABO!!!!

Soooooooo... I'm on a mission to get 100% back in the saddle on my workout schedule and to get myself in the best possible bikini shape for my trips to Abaco and Cabo San Lucas during the next few months. On Tuesday, I went to Ph-y-s-i-que 57 with Marjorie, and ... OMG!!! I am so freaking sore!!! The workout is kind of a combination of pilates and ballet, and you do all of these very small movements ... along with pushups, these squats where you have a dodgeball between your knees and have to squeeze it as tightly as you can, and much more.

Yesterday, despite that I was pretty stiff, I made it to Soul Cycle. I got in a great workout, and stretched for quite a while afterwards. But this morning.... I was still so sore from Ph-y-sique! I took a hot bath wih lavendar epsom salts, which seems to have helped and am going to stretch some more through the day.... because tonight, I'm back at Soul Cycle again.

It feels so good to be back in action -- and I am being careful not to over-do it. I'm just sore in that "wow - I really worked out hard" way, not in the "hmm, maybe I pulled a muscle" way!

Amy had a really interesting post yesterday about why she thought the band worked for her, even though it doesn't get everyone to goal. Basically, it all boiled down to her being ready. For me, the same is true. The band worked for me because I was ready to make changes to my life (even if I did make some of them -- like incorporating exercise into my life -- slowly). It also worked because the band let me be successful at losing weight, and I found that really encouraging, and it motivated me to keep making changes and improvements along the way.

I also know from experience that you don't have to be perfect the whole time for the band to work. You just have to follow the rules more often than not and keep trying to work exercise into the mix until you find something you like and can stick with. The important thing is not to give up. Or, if you do give up, to remotivate and get back on the wagon.

Back in Action!!

With Steve at his annual Christmas Dinner (yes that dress is from R-e-nt the Run--w-a-y!)

Hi!! I've missed you guys! I've been reading your blogs, but my home computer completely died on me, so I haven't been abe to post! I'm writing this now on my new A-s-u-s Z-e-nb-o-ok -- it's 2.8 pounds and faster than my last computer. Am loving it so far!

Things are good here. I had a 1 1/2 month hiatus from my usual workout schedule because I was having trouble with my IT band in my right leg being too tight. Turns out it's fine - - I just have to use a foam roller on it regularly to loosen up the muscle, and I readjusted my bike at spinning. The whole problem might have been caused by my seat being a notch too high.

I still worked out during the 1.5 months, I just hit yoga here and there and also tried another trendy workout here called Ph-y-s-i-que 57. It was good, but I like spin better! Am so happy to be back in there. And, surprisingly, I didn't gain any weight during my time off. I watched the scale like a hawk (I get on once a day -- pre-shower, post-loo) and just made adjustments to my diet if it was up a bit. This has been my maintenance strategy all along, and it works really well for me.

Other than that, life is good! Steve and I have two trips lined up -- one to Abaco in the Bahamas next month, and one to Cabo for the wedding of two good friends in May! I can't wait!!