Chicago, Chicago!

I have to admit it . . I am getting really excited about the B.O.O.B.S. conference and meeting so many of my favorite blogging bandsters! I love it that we have such a great group of organized people planning the trip and am really looking forward to all of the events. I even sent in my $80 yesterday (I'm such a brown noser. . ). :D

OK, so this theater is in NYC. . whatevs!

One thing I've been doing is putting together a "cheat sheet" of everyone who is going. It's just a simple sheet with everyone's picture, first name, city (or state or country), and blog title. I started doing this for myself, just so I could keep everyone straight, but then I realized that it might be helpful for everyone to have it. I'm going to e-mail it to the organizers when it's ready. That said, if you're going to be in Chicago for the conference and have a face shot that you want me to use for you, just e-mail it to me at chroniclesfrombandland [at] gmail.com (put your first name and blog in the subject line please). Otherwise, I'll just pick the best recent photo that I see on your blog.

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Anyway, I just wanted to give a big shout out to the lovely and talented organizers, Jennifer, Amy, Joey, Drazil, Grace, Band-Babe, Deborah, Stephanie and Linda. You girls are amazing, and I am so glad that you are putting this together. The t-shirts are incredibly cute, too! Joey, you are seriously talented!! And, it made my day to visit the B.O.O.B.S. site and see that I was a featured blogger the other day! I really appreciated all of the nice comments, and it makes me so happy (and totally choked up) every time I hear that this blog helped one of my sisters in band land.

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I also can't believe how far the Sisterhood has expanded, and I wish I had some things left to bring to Chicago! It did not occur to me when I sent all of my outgrown (in-grown? LOL) sizes to bandsters across the country that this would become a part of our bandster blogosphere culture, or just how generous all the amazing people in our community would be with one another. I've seen a few of my clothes go to 3 or 4 bandsters, which I love. It's incredible, and it also cracks me up that you all know my dirty little secret of cutting the sizes out of my clothes! (I don't do that anymore, funny enough. .) :) I wish we all would have started by sewing tags with our names inside so that we could see the legacy of bandster success stories who had each item before us. We all are a part of this sisterhood, and I hope this tradition of sharing continues long after we all reach our goals and our final sizes.

Fun Week. . . And It's Only Wednesday!

This is shaping up to be a really fun week! I wound up making a lot of plans and have really been enjoying them.

At the rooftop bar at 60 Thomson (a hotel in Soho) last night, wearing my new DVF dress!

On Sunday, I went to my spinning class in the morning, then made this really delicious (!) recipe for pulled pork tacos that requires the pork to be slowly cooked at 300 degrees for 5 1/2 hours. It is so tender and delicious! It did, however, make a TON of food, so I portioned much of it out into Ziplock bags and froze it. (This recipe freezes really well.)

Partly because I made so much food (and partly because I just wanted to see him), I invited C over for dinner on Monday night. I made fresh guacamole, a salad that was just sliced jicama with this spicy honey lime dressing, bought two kinds of very fresh salsa -- one tomato, one pineapple with jicama -- from Whole Foods, and some blue corn chips, and we had a little feast. Everything worked just fine with the band (I just ate one taco, a little guacamole and some jicama). And, of course, it was nice to spend some time with C.

Last night, I met up with Peter, who is one of my very best friends, and who I dated on and off for about 5 years from 1995-2001, starting when we were in law school together. Peter is a great guy and, after all those years, we just really understand one another, so it's always nice to talk with him. (Don't get excited people, he's in a serious relationship with a very nice girl!) :)

With Peter at 60 Thomson

This picture doesn't even do Peter justice. He showed up looking as tan, fit and handsome as I've ever seen him -- honestly, he looked like an Italian movie star. So, between that and my new DVF dress (not to mention the new body. .LOL), we were feeling pretty good! The rooftop bar at this hotel is restricted to guests and members, but not only were we able to (with some effort and a very cute "Please?" on Peter's part) talk our way in, they also gave us the best table, with the best view! So, not only did I have the fun of catching up with my dear friend, I got to do it in snobby Soho style. NICE! :)

The rest of the week should be good, too! I have dinner with another good friend tonight, spin on Thursday, a birthday dinner on Friday for another friend, and am catching up with an old boyfriend who will be in town on Saturday. Am looking forward to all of it!

The Joy of Shopping (and thoughts on maintenance)

I had brunch today in the Meat Packing District, then walked around with a friend, going in and out of a few shops. One of our stops was the Diane von Furstenberg store. I've wanted a dress from there for years, but they never fit before. After I got banded, I passed that store one day and promised myself that I would buy myself a DVF dress when I got to goal. Guess what? That happened today.

I don't have a photo of the dress, but it's great -- it's a sheath dress in "deep geranium" (almost a fuschia). It fits perfectly and will be great to wear to work. I'll post a photo when I wear it. Wait!! I just realized that it's nearly a dead ringer for the Joan Holloway dress I posted recently!

One thing that I've been wanting to write about is maintenance. I hit my goal of 155 pounds on April 5th, which is already four months ago. Wow -- time has flown by! I still consider 145 to be my aspirational goal, but am OK with staying where I am. I haven't lost any weight now for over a month, but that is fine (I am at 151 right now).

So far, maintenance is actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm at the point where it is harder for me to lose, so there is no risk of me getting too thin. My band is open enough that I can eat comfortably, but not so open that I can overeat. I actually love being at this level because when my band is tighter, I actually don't make as good of food choices, since it's harder to eat most kinds of protein. I don't do anything too much differently from what I did as I was losing, it's just that now my calorie intake is in line with what I need to maintain this particular weight.

My secret Maintenance weapon! The bathroom scale . . .

The most important thing I do to keep myself in check is to just get on the scale every morning. It's such an easy, simple thing to do. Every morning, I hop on the scale and see where I am, weight-wise. That tells me how mindful I need to be that day about following the bandster rules and making good food and exercise choices. Also, because I look at the scale every day, there is no way several pounds are going to creep up on me without me knowing about it. This is such a ridiculously simple thing to do, especially given how incredibly helpful it is to keep me focused. It's not hard anymore to make the right food choices, and I actually really like the way working out makes me feel and how it's changed my body -- and that provides a really good incentive for me to keep working out.

This simple act of getting on the scale every day is a HUGE departure from my behavior pre-band. I used to avoid the scale like the plague. Then, when I finally decided to weigh myself, I'd have to psych myself up to it for a few days. Eventually, I'd cringe (with my eyes half-squeezed shut), get on the scale and look at the (always higher) number. Then I'd feel terrible about myself, my weight, and how fat I'd let myself get. Sometimes I'd diet for a while, but I'd always find myself back at square one a few months later. Well, that phase is over now, thank God.

I'm also really surprised to still be getting so much joy over feeling good about my weight and body. It is just so nice to be able to walk around comfortably in the heat of summer, to go into stores and have them actually have my size, and to like what I see in the mirror.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't realize a long time ago how good all of this would feel. Maybe if I'd known, I could have broken the weight gain cycle before it got too out of hand. At the same time though, I realize that it's only because I let things get so bad -- because I hit my personal rock bottom -- that I am able to really appreciate how good I have it now. I expect that if I hadn't experienced this whole journey that I'd probably look at myself and focus on my imperfections, instead of just feeling really happy and grateful to have come as far as I have. So, I'm grateful to have experienced all of this because I really like where I am right now.

Ahhhh! Amagansett!

Driving back from the beach in an open-topped jeep -- fun!

In keeping with this summer's trend, I went out of town last weekend. This time, I headed to the Hamptons -- to the town of Amagansett -- with my friend Hayley, who has a summer share out there. I really see a difference in how much I enjoy summer, the beach and hot weather with 79 pounds less on my frame. Actually, I enjoy it more than I did when I weighed this exact same weight in my 20s and thought I was too heavy (oh, foolish younger me. . .)!

Here is our house. . . beautiful inside and out!

The other people in the house were really nice, except for one person who I didn't really like. Here is a photo of me, with Hayley (in the middle), and E, who was staying in the house with her boyfriend, D.

Have you guys noticed that people say things about fat people in front of you now? Well, D is one of those people. He made a few comments through the weekend, primarily about how he thought that Ali, the current bachelorette is too fat. He later qualified that (after we all yelled at him) by saying that she is too "flabby" for national TV. Meanwhile, I think she's adorable. . and isn't she like 135 pounds on a 5'8 frame?! WTH?! Another time, he turned to an ad for plus-sized lingerie in a gossip magazine and was like "What is THAT??" His girlfriend told him "It's lingerie that comes in bigger sizes." . . and he said "Oh, underwear for Ali!" What a total jacka$$.
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I suppose that I could take from this that this idiot has no clue that I've had a serious struggle with my weight . . . in addition to the fact that he's a complete moron and jacka$$ (but then again, that would mean he was sensitive enough to consider my feelings before he spoke. . . hmmm. . . doubtful). I was lying on the beach with him, E and Hayley in my bikini all day Saturday. That was actually after the first round of Ali comments, and honestly, I didn't feel self-conscious around him at all. When I was younger, those comments probably would have had me wearing shorts and a one-piece all day long at the beach. But now, I feel great, and I'm not going to let some imperfect jerk take that away from me. So nyah!! :P

There was a sandcastle competition at the beach when we were there. . so many great entries! This was my favorite -- a school of dolphins, sharks and killer whales. . made by a group of very cute guys! What could be better? :)

Already looking foward to Halloween!

One of the things I've really been looking forward to about being thinner is getting to wear a cute, sexy outfit for Halloween! Last year, I was ready to do that, but I had a friend in town visiting over Halloween with her 13 month old, so going to a party was not in the cards. This year, however, it is!

I love the show Mad Men and think I'm going to go as Joan Holloway. Here is a photo of her. I have a great 1960s style emerald green dress that should be perfect, and just ordered a pencil necklace from Etsy.com. Now, all I need is a red wig (any suggestions for where I can get one that's already styled appropriately??), some fake eyelashes, and some seamed stockings! Fun!

Maine Stay

Nothing says summer like flip-flopped feeties!

I went to York, Maine last weekend with three friends (Marjorie, Monica and Laurie). This was my first trip to Maine, and I was in awe of how beautiful it is there!! It was a long drive up from the city (over 6 hours there. . ) but we spent the whole time talking and laughing, so it went by quickly. We really had a great weekend, though our time there was too short. I don't have time to do a lengthy post today, but I did want to share some of my photos with you. Here goes . . .

View from my room if I didn't bother to get out of bed! I could hear the ocean in the room!

View if I walked three steps to the window!

Adorable Maine house with buoys on the porch

The picturesque York lighthouse

Here we all are, hanging out on the rocks across from the lighthouse
(which is where we took the flip-flop feet photo) I love how this viewfinder photo turned out!

After a day at the beach on Saturday, we came back to the hotel, popped open a bottle of champagne, and enjoyed it while sitting out on the lawn overlooking the ocean. Some of us covered up to avoid the sun. . .

And some of us did not!
No stress here!

And, this pretty much sums it all up . . . :)

Coming Out!

Don't get excited. . . this isn't as exciting a revelation as Amy recently made! :) But I did finally tell C about my band. Leaving aside the issue that I'm the only person I know who can turn a rebound fling into a nine month affair. . . I wanted to tell you about how it went. You might remember that I had wanted to tell him for a long time. In fact, back in December, I wrote a post about this. One of the things I wrote about was what my concerns were about telling -- and since that hasn't changed, I'm going to recap that here:

Part of my fear in telling a guy about the surgery is that his perception of me will change. I think that's a legitimate concern. Part of that is that I don't want the person to suddenly look at me through some kind of "fat goggles" and suddenly find me as being less attractive. Another part of that is that I don't want the person judging me based on my inability to control my weight without the band. I'd hope that anyone I'd be serious aabout would view this as a positive though -- that I find a way to fix serious problems when I have them, and that I'm not afraid to make big changes or take calculated, well-researched risks when I need to do so to improve the quality of my life.

Telling C was interesting. We'd been having a serious talk about things going on in his life, and I decided that it was a good time for me to share this information about myself. He reacted in a really normal way. It turns out that he knew all about lap band surgery, since a friend's husband is a surgeon in the field, and he didn't seem shocked or to have any negative reaction at all. He just said that he was glad that it had worked for me and that I was happy that I'd done it. I told him that I'd been really curious about what his reaction would be and asked him if knowing about the band made him think of me differently -- he said that it didn't.

I also told him that I was surprised that he'd never asked me about my big scar, and asked if he'd ever noticed that I had a lump (i.e., my port) above it. He'd noticed the lump, but never thought to ask about either. Funny, right? I mean, here I am sweating it out that someone is going to freak out if they notice the port, and he noticed it and didn't even think to say anything about it!

I shared all of this with my friend Christina (my friend who lives in Berlin and gave me the beautiful bracelet and earrings as a goal present), and she made a really great observation that I want to share with you. This is what she said, and I think it's a great way for all of us to think about band surgery and to help others to think about it as well:

If your eyes are weak, you get glasses or lenses. If your teeth are not straight, you get braces. And, if you have [serious] problems with portion control, you get a band. And if a person takes the risk of the operation, then the pressure/annoyance/suffering they felt [because of their weight] must have been pretty strong. So, it is a good thing [for that person to] walk down the road of getting banded.