A Positive Deflation

So.... if I look at my blog, I've been thinking over having a little unfill for about two years.  Why is that?  Well.. I have reflux from time to time when I'm sleeping, and I have to be pretty vigilant about not eating or drinking for a few hours before I go to bed to avoid that.  Unfortunately, that's not always practical, especially since I switched firms in October and have been working much longer hours, and don't always have the luxury of having dinner before 9 p.m.  (Don't get me wrong, I am HUGELY happy about this move -- I love the new firm, and the work is more interesting than ever.)

I've been thinking more seriously about the unfill lately because the reflux has been more frequent and I really, REALLY do not want to do anything that might damage my band or my stomach.  I want to do everything I can to avoid creating a situation that makes me have to have it taken out.  If that happens on its own, so be it, but I don't want it happening on my watch.

Longtime bandster CindyLew, who many of you oldtimers will remember (though she took her blog down a while ago), contacted me recently and we were e-mailing about these issues.  She inspired me to call my doctor, and I went in yesterday and had my first unfill since June 2010!  I am now at 2.75 cc in my 5 cc band, and I slept like a dream last night!  I also was able to eat kale at dinner (even though I normally don't like kale), which is tough enough that I was worried about missing a bite and getting stuck.  I think I'm at a good fill, and I hope that being proactive about the unfill (er, if you can call hemming and hawing about it for 2+ years before finally getting it done...) will help me to avoid problems with my band.

Six Year Streak!

With my dear hubby at a Christmas dinner.

This year makes six years in a row that I haven't gained weight over the holidays!  I feel really good about that, especially since -- pre-band -- I probably gained most years during that time.  My band is a huge help with this because it forces me to be mindful of what and how I eat, but the other changes I've made in the last six years help, too.

I was at my brother's house over Christmas (I never did get around to telling him about my band, so he still doesn't know), and we wound up going to the gym quite a bit.  I hit two yoga classes and two spin classes while I was there, and went on a bunch of walks, too.  I bet someone who didn't know us would think we were one of those obnoxiously healthy and fit families (heck, maybe we've become one of those families)!  All of these changes feel very natural and part of my life to me, but when I look at how different life is now from seven years ago, it's astounding to me how much things have changed for the better.  Feeling very grateful.  I'm excited to see what nice things 2015 may have in store.

Wishing you a very happy and healthy New Year!!

Sixth Bandiversary!

Want to hear something surprising?  It's 11 p.m. and I only just realized that TODAY is my sixth bandiversary.  I knew it was coming, and it's been on my radar through the fall, but I hadn't realized that today is The Day until just a few minutes ago.

Are you wondering whether I've gotten so used to my band that I just forgot about it?  That's not the case at all.  I still have to eat carefully and take care not to get stuck.  I still get on the scale nearly every day to take stock of how I'm doing.  And, I still work out -- it's actually become a part of my life -- something I did not know would be possible to achieve.

I think about my band one way or another every day, at least a few times.  Sometimes it's to realize that I shouldn't eat too close to bed time because that gives me reflux.  Other times, it's to think that I should be careful about what I order at a restaurant so that I don't get stuck.  More often, it's to be grateful that I've gone from associating guilt and self-loathing with food and how I feel about my body to feeling happy about my appearance and to really enjoying cooking and eating much more than I ever did before.

I am grateful.  So, so, so grateful.  That is a consistent theme in my blog, and that is because it is a consistent theme and feeling in my life.  I am happy much more often than not.  I have a wonderful husband who is the warmest and nicest person I've ever met, and I feel so lucky to have done so much work on myself before I met him that I was ready for this relationship when the time came.  And, as if that wasn't enough already, I just moved to a new job that is a step up in every way meaningful to me.  I am grateful, and I am psyched to see what the future holds. (Don't get me wrong -- my life isn't perfect, and I don't want to give you the impression that it's all smooth sailing for me.  Among other things, I've had some very scary family health issues this year, and have had arguably more than my fair share of stressful things to deal with on many fronts.)

Is a band a magic wand?  Well, no.  But, as I've said before, if the main thing bothering you in your life is your weight and relationship with food ... and you're willing to do the work, it can feel like one.  This has felt like a miracle to me.  I can't understate how grateful I feel to have been able to use this tool and for all the support, friendship and love I've found both through this blog and in my day-to-day life.  Sending all those good feelings back out into the universe, and to each of you reading this post.

Anniversary Trip & The Workout Struggle Continues!

Frites met mayonnaise!  YUM!  I thought the WTF was especially appropriate! :)

 

Hi!  Steve and I had a fantastic time in Amserdam!  We were blessed with gorgeous weather, and since Holland played (and crushed Spain in!!) its first World Cup game while we were there, it felt like everyone was out and about and in a great mood!

 

Getting gear for the World Cup game!

Enjoying beer and bitterballen (er, deep fried croquettes.. where is my WTF sign? LOL) at a canal-side bar!

We did so many different things that I can't recap them all, but we loved visiting the newly renovated Rijksmuseum, the van Gogh museum, and one of the best things we did was to rent bikes and ride along the Amstel River out to a restaurant located about 1 1/2 hours from the city. 

Legit windmill spotted on our bike ride!

 It was such a blast, and we had such a good time together!  So glad I married that guy! :)

On another note, I've been fighting to get back to a good workout schedule.  It's tough during the summer because we're out of town virtually every single weekend, and I really count on the weekends to get in two workouts each week.   I booked an early spin class this morning and was so, so, SOOOO close to just turning off the alarm and sleeping through it.  Fortunately, my annoying cat heard the alarm and decided to meow incessantly to be fed, which made it impossible for me to go back to sleep.

I sat there in bed and made a mental pro/con list, trying to justify going back to sleep.  But when I got to the point -- I'll feel amazing and proud of myself all day vs. I'll feel like a loser for cancelling and wasting $35 -- aggggghhhhhhh.....  there was no choice and I had to get out of bed and get dressed.  Fingers crossed it won't be as much of a struggle on Thursday morning... though I sure do like my sleep! 



Travels, Workouts and Coincidences

Steve and I decided to take a trip to celebrate our one-year anniversary, which is just around the corner!  At first, I was thinking Paris, but decided that we should go to Amsterdam.  I lived in Holland for a number of years when I was a kid, and Steve has never been.  It's a beautiful place, and also a great opportunity for Steve to meet my (honorary) aunt and uncle, who live there, are wonderful, and who were not able to make the trip over for our wedding!  Really looking forward to it!

The trip has motivated me to get more serious about getting back to the gym.  I am in a challenge with Steve to work out every day until our trip, and so far, I've hit four days out of four!  I can't tell you when the last time was that I got four workouts in in a week.  It feels good, and I know it's just a matter of time until my body starts tightening back up   While the scale still shows me at goal, my abs are more rolly-polly than I'd prefer after about six months of minimal gym time due to my back/neck/shoulder injury.

And, on to the coincidences!  I was walking out of a building on Sunday, and someone came after me calling my name.  I saw a girl who looked so familiar to me, but I couldn't place her name or how I knew her!  Lo and behold, it was MLM!  Some of you will remember her from her blog, and others will remember that she sent me a huge box of clothing that I was able to give away on her behalf at BOOBS in Chicago in 2010!  We'd never met in person, but recognized one another from our blogs and finally got to meet!  What a nice coincidence!  By the way, she looks great and has kept off a substantial weight loss.... and had a ring on her finger and a very nice fiance, too!  So nice to see a fellow blogging bandster doing so well!

Baby Got Back Pain

Sooooo.... dumbest injury ever?  In late October, I spent two days walking around town with a friend in boots where one of the rubber soles had popped off (Day 1 it was an accident, Day 2 I did it because they are so comfortable and I already knew I'd have to replace the heel part).  On the end of Day 2, I turned suddenly and ... oops... realized that something weird just happened in my neck/upper back.

The next day, my neck/back were killing me... and while the pain has migrated from spot to spot (right now, it's in my right shoulder and isn't all that bad), I'm STILL not back to 100%.

This has thrown off my really good workout schedule.  For a bit, I knew I shouldn't work out, so I took time off to heal.  For the past few months, I've been going to yoga once a week more often than not, and to Soul Cycle a few times (I'm embarrassed to admit that I've cancelled more than I've gone).  I'm trying to get back in the groove, but I am really struggling to get there.... Which brings me here, to you and my blog -- two incredible things that helped me get on the good path in the first place.

One piece of good news that I'll share with you is that I haven't gained any weight.  I still get on my scale most mornings, and that keeps me on the right path.  I've had to be a bit more diligent about not making bad food choices, but it hasn't been too hard.  HOWEVER, I'm not as toned as I was six months ago, and that bothers me, especially with summer right around the corner.  Plus, I'm avoiding some more body conscious clothing that I'd otherwise enjoy wearing, and that's a crime against fashion. ;)

I want to get back to a regular 3 times a week (4 if I'm a superstar) workout schedule.  It's been hard to get there because I really rely on the weekends to get in two workouts, but I've been traveling a lot lately (out of town the last three weekends in a row... and I have a week-long trip to Hong Kong coming up later this month).  I really like to work out in a class and I'm no runner, so when I'm traveling, it's harder to get the workouts in. 

I'm hoping that blogging will help me to get back on the right path.... any advice or kicks in the bee-hind would be very welcome!

Happy FIFTH Bandiversary to me!!

Today is my fifth bandiversary! I thought it might be useful to go back to the beginning, to remind myself where I started. Here are the first words I posted on this blog:

"I am getting banded on October 23, 2008. I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember and am now at an all-time high (I'll post numbers once I've had some success -- too hard to admit at this early stage!)." [P.S. I weighed 230 pounds.]

Here is some more from that post:

"It's funny -- I was talking with a trusted friend about my decision, and went over my pro/con list with her. Once we nailed down that my real fear was making a drastic change to my life, she said something that gave me a lot of clarity. She said, 'Catherine, you have two choices here. Regardless of whether you do this surgery, you have to either accept that you will be overweight or, you're going to have to make a drastic change in your life.'"

The "friend" who said that to me is my therapist, who I've been seeing for more than 10 years.  (I highly recommend doing therapy throughout this process.  It is so helpful.)  Her words were very true, and they really struck a nerve with me. Sometime after that, I picked up a celebrity gossip magazine, and there was an article in it about a soap actress who had been having success with the band. I eventually mentioned that to my therapist, and she put me in touch with someone else she knew who was also banded. Presto, change-o, and roughly two months later, I had my surgery as a self-pay patient in Monterrey, Mexico (thank you Dr. Rumbaut!).

Over the past five years, I have changed my life and improved it for the better in so many ways. Five years ago, I was roughly 80 pounds overweight, heartbroken, unable to run because of compartmental syndrome (because of my weight, as it turns out), avoiding seeing old friends (because of my weight), feeling badly about myself (same), with aching feet and back (same), hating shopping (same), and feeling despair when I had to get dressed up for a special event because I didn't look the way I wanted to look or fit into my clothes... or both (surprise... same..).


Before and After.



I have met so many incredible bandsters (and sleevesters!) during the past five years, and I am grateful for the way my relationships with all of you have helped me through this process and encouraged me to push myself to do better and to stay focused. This would have been such a different experience without you, and I most certainly would not have enjoyed it as much or felt so much support without my blog and my off-line WLS friends.

At this point, I've been at goal for so long now that it seems normal. I actually get slightly annoyed when I see 156 on the scale (I recall practically doing backflips when I first saw that number a few years ago...). My weight stays right within a small range of 155 -- my goal number (though not the aspirational goal of 145... that proved too hard to maintain).  I sometimes miss the thrill of losing -- that part of this process was so motivating, exciting and fun. My band still seems to be going strong, though I've been having reflux often enough that I am thinking about getting a wee unfill -- my first adjustment in two or more years -- and will likely do that during my 5th year check-up appointment next month.

Five years after surgery, I am at an "ideal" weight, strong, fit and happy about how my body looks (not that I don't see room for improvement..). I am a regular at my spin and yoga classes, my feet and back are fine, and shopping and getting dressed up are a pleasure. Somehow, I've become the kind of person who will give myself a little grief if I "only" get in 2 workouts a week (who am I?!). :)   And the sweetest part is that I fell head over heels for -- and just married!! -- a wonderful, kind, loving, handsome, sweetie-pie of a man who makes my life so much nicer every day just by being in it. 



At a party with my sweet husband, earlier this month.

 

Five years ago, I used to dream that my life might be like this, if I could only get my weight under control. It's not a dream anymore -- it is reality.  Not that my life is perfect -- it's just a heck of a lot better than it was before!  It's hard to express just how grateful I am.  Words are not enough.  I want to show that through my commitment to honoring the changes I was able to make by avoiding backsliding and by taking good care of my body and health, and not taking them for granted.

Thank you so much for reading this and for being there for me. It means more to me than I can put into words, and has helped me immeasurably.  I'm sending best wishes to each and every one of you for continued success and so much happiness and love.

Wedding Recap! (Blogger isn't cooperating, so I had to put most of the text at the end... but I'm posting anyway!)

I have to admit... I love, love, loved our wedding!  We were blessed with gorgeous weather in an otherwise rainy and cold week, and everything went off without a hitch! 

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but we got married in the Adirondack mountains, in a beautiful old church.  

I loved the moose heads...  very Adirondack-ey!

My shoes.  So smart that they read books!

My handsome groom, getting ready at his parents' house.

My Something Blue... a lace handkerchief my mother bought for me years ago on a trip to Venice.

"Dear God, please let it fit!!"

It fit!

The groom, best man, ushers and one of our ringbearers (we only had one attendant each, in the spirit of keeping it simple).

My handsome groom!

Getting ready with my BFFs!

Ringbearer meets The Ring "Barker!"  Yes we DID have a dog in our wedding! :)

The Ring Barker stops for some lovin'!

The MOH!  Note the bluegrass band up in the balcony!

Waiting to enter the church with my father....

Dad, walking me down the aisle!!!  He was saying the funniest stuff to me to keep us both from tearing up!!

With my sweet groom!  Look at the adorable smile on our priest's face (I've known him since I was 7, and he did the most incredible and personal wedding mass for us -- it was just amazing!)

The happy couple!

The florist did such a beautiful job!!

In our gettaway car!

On the club property...

Smooching in a field....

Bluegrass and cocktails on the porch!

I made this sign for our photographic guest book -- we had props and lots of Polaroid-type film.  The book is hysterical!!

The flowers and tables!  Check out all my eBay-purchased milk vases!

Lawn bowling between the ceremony and reception!

How gorgeous does Nora (A Traveling Bandita) look?!?  We got to meet her adorable new baby over the weekend, who is a beautiful, sweet girl!



Seriously preppie!!



Entering the reception for the first time!!

Dip dip dip dip!!

I love this one -- everyone is having so much fun on the dance floor!

With my husband!

Steve, making me laugh during his speech. :)

My speech!



Cutting the beautiful cake that a friend of Steve's family made for us!



Blogger isn't cooperating, so I couldn't finish telling the story above!  Hopefully the photos did a good job of conveying how happy we were, and how much fun we had celebrating our wedding!  We were very fortunate, in that our close family friend, Father F., who I've known since I was 7 years old, was able to come to do our ceremony.  He made it so personal, and so meaningful, and it added so much to the celebration.

We really wanted our ceremony (really, the entire weekend) to be very personal to us, and to be reflective of us.  Soooo, that led to us having lots of special touches.  Honesly, I was worried that our wedding was going to come across as really hokey!!  We had Steve's favorite dog (his dad's Yellow Lab puppy) as our Ring Barker, toting the rings down the aisle on a caribiner attached to her collar.  We also had a bluegrass band play the ceremony music.... And I walked down the aisle to a bluegrass instrumental version of Bob Marley's One Love!  

During communion, they played a gorgeous version of "Down to the River to Pray" (the Alison Krause version), which was just stunning.  And... one of our readings was "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles.  Funny enough, it all came together so nicely and really gelled!

Between the wedding and reception, we had a bit of down-time, so our friends had a little lawnbowling tournament on the green next to the clubhouse.  Then, the bluegrass band struck up tunes on the porch and the cocktails started flowing!  I had a rum punch as our signature cocktail... why YES, I DID buy those straws just for that occasion!  (BTW, lucky for me, picking a red cocktail for the reception did not backfire on me!!)

All my months of collecting milk glass vases on eBay paid off, and the flowers looked so pretty at the reception!  I was so happy with that, as well as the programs and menus that I made (sorry for not posting -- they have too much personal information on them to put on here). 

We had a second band come to play the reception --this was a compromise, since I would have loved to have a bunch of dance music a la Lady Gaga, Rhianna, etc., but Steve is not a fan.  So, we had the band play a few old standards and a whole lot of funk!  And, Steve even got out and played two songs with the band toward the end of the night!

It was such a wonderful day -- and such a wonderful weekend.  I loved every minute!