V. day tends to suck when you are single, but I decided to make the most of it this year. I accepted a date for brunch. . . mind you, this was a first date, so it was a bit unusual to plan it for Valentine's Day, but whatever. That is when I was available. I also went to a benefit tonight for Doctors Without Borders . . honestly, it was PACKED full of ridiculously hot men. Seriously -- one better looking than the next!! Unfortunately, one also was gayer than the next, so that didn't bode too well for my hetero Valentine situation! :) :)As for my brunch, actually, it was a good date. The guy was very thoughtful and interesting, picked a great place, we had a lot to talk about (don't know when the last time I've had brunch run 4+ hours was), and I really enjoyed myself. That said, I'm not 100% that I am feeling any chemistry there -- but I'm not ruling out the possibility at this point. Am definitely planning to go on a second date to figure it out.
The only downer in the whole thing was when, toward the end, he was talking (in a roundabout way) about his ideal relationship. He mentioned all of these characteristics, and -- as he did, I recognized every single one of them as a characteristic of my relationship with PP. Even though I'm over PP, it was still sad to think back on what I thought was an ideal relationship and to be reminded that he (PP) just didn't get it. I know that a lot of couples wish they had the kind of relationship that he and I had, but he just ultimately couldn't get it together, and that is why I had to move on. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean I can't reflect back on it for 5 minutes on stupid old Valentine's Day and have a bit of a wah about it! So, wah. (OK, I'm done. . has been a year and a half already, for goodness sake. . )
10 comments:
Sounds like a good first date - definitely try a second date and see if the chemistry grows - someone you can spend 4 hours at brunch with sounds like a good prospect!
Well Happy V day to you too. The date sounds great especially that he is talking about a relationship. I saw a guy on Oprah today called Steve Harvey and he was talking about real men and how they wouldn't back away from a discussion about a relationship...so all good on that front. I was thinking about you and Jen through out this show. It is probably 6 months old though we tend to see them about that far behind you. And fair enough to reflect back on a relationship that you loved but didn't work out. This Steve guy said that we wouldn't have been created if we were not to meet our soul mate and that he is out there.....you just haven't met him yet!!!
Wow, I'm impressed with this guy. Most guys completely panic about Valentine's Day. They'd never in a million years plan a first date on V-Day. I think that's a good sign.
Glad you had a good time, and I do think it's a good move to give the chemistry thing a few more chances.
Take care!
AND. . I forgot to mention that I totally got stuck at brunch and had to go to the restroom to PB. Lovely!
I had ordered eggs Benedict, which usually goes down like a charm, but the eggs were overcooked, and my band was tight enough that it gave me a problem. I could barely eat anything and explained it by making up some story about avoiding carbs right now and not being that hungry. He seemed fine with that explanation.
Seriously though, I only was able to eat about 1.5 eggs. Even though I tried to push things around, there was no hiding that my plate was still completely full when I finished. I left everything else untouched because I didn't think it would go down -- potatoes, both English muffins, sausage, and this sliced baked apple side. Thank goodness our waitress didn't make a fuss about it.
Oh, poor Catherine! What an inopportune time to get stuck! Ugh!
I might actually talk to him now about his long term plans. If it were me, I would, anyway.
I know that goes against what "the rules" say...but rules are for women...men don't have any clue what they are.
If he is a commitment type of guy he will tell you that. He won't have any qualms about telling you, that, actually. If he runs for the hills...then there you go. Dating should not be about manipulation or games and "the rules" promote both of those.
I knew where my husband stood on marriage, family and children and home ownership and all sorts of long term things in the first day that we met. He wasn't playing games and nor was I. It was quite refreshing, actually. Still is!
But as much as I've just said, let the conversation be natural. But don't be scared to ask if the thought is that you are not supposed to. You are only supposed to do what is right and natural. If it doesn't feel right to ask these questions, then that is telling YOU something.
Just my $0.02.
No matter what, have fun. I hope you do go on the second date and I can't wait to hear more!
Glad to hear your date went well. Just remember that the guy ISN'T PP! Don't let your emotional baggage get in the way of something that could turn out wonderfully. It took me years to get over a guy I adored, but looking back, it was the best thing that it didn't happen for us because I don't think we would have made it. Best of luck with the potential new guy and too bad with the pb incident. They never happen at an opportune time!
Not bad for a first date in my opinion! Just the fact that it was V-Day gives him a plus in my book.
It took me a few dates with my husband to start feeling the chemistry and he turned out to be a MAJOR KEEPER....so don't despair.
My husband, by the way, came upon me watching your Vlog and swore that you "were the girl in that Bon Apetite! move"....otherwise known as Julie and Julia. He said "I didn't know that actress had Lap-Band too". Says you are a dead-ringer for Amy Adams.
LD -- he broke all that out on the date. Wants to get married, wants children, is surprised that he hasn't gotten married by now, etc.
I guess the bright spot about the PP thing is that -- when this guy was telling me what he wants in his own relationship, it includes so many of the things that I really liked about my last significant relationship.
Jacquie -- that is so funny! At Adam & Erica's wedding, her niece & nephew told me that too (they said I looked "like the princess from Enchanted" . . may be the best compliment of my life! LOL!)
Hey Catherine...I'm following here now, great blog!! A four hour brunch with good conversation sounds like a good start!!! Can't wait to read more! -BG
I'm here:
http://bandgroupiethesweetspot.blogspot.com/
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