Photo of me from the summer of 1996, when I was still in l-a-w school.
We hired a guy who I knew from l-a-w school about a year ago. He had some serious health issues during the last year, and has just come back to the o-f-f-i-c-e after a long leave. Fortunately, he's doing well and on the mend. He's a really nice guy, and I'm very glad he is OK. -
Late in the day yesterday, he popped by my office on the way home to say hi, and we were talking about whether he felt like his whole experience gave him any new perspective, and how he feels about the whole thing. I said to him (forgetting that he never saw me at my heaviest) that -- while recognizing the major differences between our two situations -- I had a similar experience from getting my weight under control, and that it's made me so much more appreciative of being able to be healthy and fit now. He looked a little confused/uncomfortable (like he didn't understand what I was talking about on the weight front), and so I said "Hmm... that's right... you may not have known this, but I had gained quite a bit of weight for a while, and then got it off."
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And then he admitted to me that he actually did know, but not from anything I'd said or from seeing me. Apparently, he went to an event at the f-i-r--m where I was speaking, and the people at his table commented "THAT is Catherine?" And they were commenting on how much my appearance had changed. So, they were the ones who had told him about me being so fat.
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Honestly, I feel kind of weird about the whole thing. I'm a little uncomfortable knowing that while I was up there speaking in front of a big group (AT MY W--O-R-K, no less), a bunch of my colleagues were sitting there in the audience, talking about my weight/body. I guess I feel a little better knowing that whatever they were saying was probably positive -- and that knowing my old l-a-w school friend was present may have shut it down a bit -- but that just seems really inappropriate. I don't exactly care that they told my friend about my weight (it's not like that was a secret from anyone...), I just feel more weird/violated that they were all talking about me while I was up at the podium and they were supposed to be listening to what I was saying. I guess this is human nature, and to be expected when there is a big change in someone's appearance, but it still makes me a little uncomfortable. And.. I have another big speaking event at the f-i--r-m on Thursday. Hopefully they're over it by now...
13 comments:
Well, hell...I WOULD have been talking about your body. That's what we all do anyways isnt it...just like we were still in high school. At least they were talking about you bc you are smoking hot now.
It's funny, sometimes I get kinda sad that some people didnt know me fat. They don't know how much I have worked for it. But also, in some of my classes I teach, I sometimes reference "being fat" or "when I was fat", etc...and I wonder if the people in my audience are looking at me as a realtively fit person talking about "being fat" and thinking that I really have no idea what it's like to be fat...I want to YELL! I AM ONE OF YOU...even if I don't look like it on the outside.
Wow. That was a really long run-on sentence.
Miss you!
You know, one of the reasons that I decided to get lap band surgery was that no one was going to hire the fat law student at the big bad law firm.... I had a call to interview at my first choice firm four days after surgery, got them to agree to a phone only interview because I couldnt travel... and was hired that week (starting in September 2013). They still haven't seen me and I wonder (after many a failed interviews in person) how much of difference being fat can make.
xxx
No matter the workplace, it seems that the "high school" mentality of judging others never ends.
You are a hottie-patattie now so poo poo on them :)
And remember..you are beautiful on the INSIDE. Which they probably can't say for themselves.
{{HUGS}}
I can see where it would make you feel uncomfortable or even a little upset. In my old role, I gave presentations all the time and while I'm a fabulous public speaker (if I do say so myself. LOL), it dawned on me about a month ago that people were more concerned about how I looked than what I was saying. I've had several people who were in those audiences compliment me on my weight loss but never ask why I don't do those presentations anymore. Guess we know what they were thinking while I was talking, eh? I can tell you they'll still be talking but this time, it'll be more like "OMG! Doesn't she look FABULOUS?!" and that's gotta make you feel a lot better about it. :)
I hate that we are judged so much by appearance. Reading that made my heart a little heavy, I'm quite familiar with finding out people were discussing my weight.
I totally relate to this...being an opera singer, not only was my weight discussed at length, many times it was discussed IN FRONT OF ME as if I weren't there, or I was pulled aside and told to my face that I was too heavy to cast in a particular role. It's no wonder my confidence took such a nosedive!! It's very, very difficult to get back on stage when you know [or suspect] that they're talking about it. It gets to the point where you just assume they ARE talking about it, even if they aren't, which doesn't provide you with the most positive energy or focus for an audition...oy. It makes me really, really sad. Almost makes me want to get a t-shirt that says "If you think I'm fat now, you should have seen me 100 lbs ago!!" Well, when I get to 100 lbs down, anyway...
I too hate how people judge us for our appearance. You should be so proud of where you have come and all the hard work you put in to get you there.
I would be mad as well, people are so judgmental. You are a beautiful woman, and most especially you are beautiful on the inside even more!
Love you lady
Haters...they are everywhere.
I don't even think they were hating on me .. I like to think they were just really surprised to see such a big change. Most of the crowd was from another office, so they hadn't seen me for a while.
If they were talking about you, I bet it was positive "yay Catherine"; don't let it get in your head.
I bet they are over and it and will listen on Thursday.
whether it's cause we're fat or skinny or rich or poor or tall or short or any other attribute, some assholes will find a way to criticize you about it. so sad. and so many people are screwed up for life because of it.... I can relate with that feeling of being judged in more ways than one unfortunately!
We have all been guilty of discussing someone when they look drastically different. I am sure they were discussing how beautiful, poised and distinguished you looked. How could anyone not be proud of you who knows you. You are beyond an inspiration. I have told you once and will say it again, Your Letter to your Old Self is the SINGLE thing that helped me make the call to my surgeon.
I am sure if you can inspire a sheer stranger, they were only discussing how wonderful and healthy you look now!
These kind of experiences also compelled me to get the band...I didn't want to be perceived as the consultant that got fat...I want to be seen as the competant person that I am. But after 2 pregnancies people would make these comments too. They would see me and actually be horrified. I thought it was in my mind but unfortunately it wasn't...these fine educated people would talk about my fatness!!!! Crazy!
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