Well, after that recent post about my fun day out in Brooklyn with C, I thought I shouldn't leave you all hanging on that front. . . Alas. . am right back where I started before that weekend! Not that this should be a big surprise to anyone, myself included.I wound up seeing C on Friday night and hanging out with him, his cousin and one of their friends at one of his favorite bars in Brooklyn. I had a really good time, and it was great to see him, as always. I liked his cousin a lot, and thought it was interesting that she told me she was glad to meet me because C never brings girls around. I was surprised by that, but it doesn't change that C isn't looking for anything more serious, exclusive, etc. Ultimately, this is just not what I want, and after six months, this fling needs to be flung so that I can increase my likelihood of finding what I do want.
So. . enough back-sliding on my part. I'm just not cut out to stay in something this long that has zero potential to evolve into something more meaningful. I just realized that it is getting to the point where I like him enough that this state of affairs is going to start making me unhappy, and . . . why would I want to make myself unhappy? Exactly! I wouldn't.
No matter the outcome, I don't regret a second of this. C is a sweetheart of a guy and he did wonders to get me over the breakup with PP. I'll be surprised if we don't wind up staying friends in the long term, but it's time for me to focus my energy elsewhere. So. . . stay tuned. . .
12 comments:
I'm really impressed that you can recognize that you don't want the same things. My sister is in a similar situation but can't come to terms with it. The guys not looking for a fling, but he's not exactly looking to committ either-
Good luck!
Catherine you deserve to be happy with someone that wants the same things and treats you like a Queen!
When you least expect it, you'll meet someone who will want the same thing as you. He's out there!
You are a very smart woman. Good luck.
I agree with Jenny--very astute of you to recognize this now before it gets even harder. You will DEFINITELY find someone wanting to commit. You are way too beautiful and smart and funny and well-traveled and eloquent and just downright awesome not to!!!
Awww good for you. So glad you're making the decision on your terms. When I was single I let things drag on and on... which was part of my overall strategy of not dealign with things in life, in general.
I think that you're being respectful to yourself and C by ending things now.
Kudos.
I really believe this is the secret for finding a lasting and meaningful relationship. You can't waste timeon the ones that just are not fulfilling for you. Good for you for moving on. I have to agree with Jacquie, you never see it coming.
Thanks you guys! I know I'm doing the right thing, but I was kind of feeling a bit down about it. But I've been through this enough times to know that it's just a matter of time before someone else interesting comes along, so I need to hang in there and just focus on all of the other good stuff that I have going on right now. Still. . I am going to miss that chemistry!!
I agree with everyone else, you are one smart chica! (I almost said one smart cookie, but thought that wouldn't be right. lol). It is difficult though, even when you know what you're doing is right. I've had several times when I hung in for too long, even though I knew better. Better to use that energy on YOU!
Catherine, I think you are right on! Maybe this sounds cheesy, but when your "relationship energy" is diluted on a relationship that doesn't have potential for what you want, then you don't leave yourself open to something new.
And you are still welcome to hang out in Brooklyn! We just tried an amazing new place in Park Slope called The Benchmark...of course, I only ate 3/4 of a scallops, less than a 1/4 of another app, and three bites of a great burger, but the flavors were all amazing.
I'm sorry it had to end, but you know what you want, need and deserve, and I am so confident you'll find it.
Love you!
Wow I just spent the entire day reading all your posts. I'm still in the "trying to decide what to do" stages and your details of day to day life with the band are invaluable. Altho I am in podunk NM and our dining choices leave MUCH to be desired :)
One of the two posts that especially stuck with me was that the bad was a "tool" to help you loose weight. Just like good walking/running shoes......
The 2nd was when you realized you don't berate yourself daily anymore for being overweight. That one made me cry happy tears for you!
Plus it was great fun hearing about living in NYC. My daughter is a 1L student in Phoenix and a trip to NYC will be her graduation gift. I can't wait :)
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