Goal Gift

My mother and I were talking about what I might do for myself as a goal gift, and I had a realization that really hit home for me. I already have my goal gift. There is no better present that I could have ever given myself than to get to this point. There is not one single thing I could buy that would be worth more to me than actually feeling good about my weight and how my body looks.

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Even though I've been this weight in my adult life, I didn't appreciate it when I was at it at a younger age -- I thought I should be thinner. But now, I am enjoying it.

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So, along with the gift of feeling good, my "goal gift" also includes a host of other things, like (in no particular order):

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- Being able to shop anywhere I like;

- Wearing heels all day long without my feet killing me;

- Looking so much healthier and better;

- Not avoiding old friends because of my weight;

- Being able to RUN because my compartmental syndrome is completely resolved; and

- Being more comfortable on planes, on the subway, etc.

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Maybe I'm a little superficial because all the things I take the most joy in are related to clothes and looking better! :) But, I shouldn't ignore a few more gifts that come along with getting to my ideal BMI range, like:

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- Substantially lowering my risk for heart disease, diabetes, joint pain, and back problems; and

- Increasing my chances of being a healthy person with good energy and mobility when I am older.

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Those two are too important not to mention. I also went back to look at the Pro/Con List I wrote down in my pre-op journal, and realize that every single thing I was looking for has come true (well, other than the thing about not being a fat bride. . but there's still time for that one)! For anyone starting this process, I can't encourage you enough to make a list like this and to keep it and come back to it as you go through the process of getting to goal. It was especially helpful in reinforcing my decision before I had the surgery, but I also have re-read it countless times during the past 15 months, and it has helped to keep me focused on why I am doing this.

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So, I'm not going to buy myself a big giant goal present. . . though I'm certainly going to indulge in more clothing! Turns out that the best present I could give myself wasn't one that I could buy. I wonder why it took me until now to fully realize that!