Pantiemonium!

I've been really good about cleaning out my closet and passing clothing on to other bandsters through The Sisterhood of the Traveling XL Dress. I've sent out packages all over the United States. . workout clothes, jeans, dresses, capris, tops, bras, etc., and it's amazing to see the ripple effect and how many of you are doing the same! It's a total thrill when I see you guys post or e-mail me photos of yourselves in clothing from me, and it cracks me up that so many of you recognize which items are mine. . . because I always used to cut out the size tags!

We're going to have to rename it the Sisterhood of the Skinny Bs soon! :)

These days, I only have a few things left that are above a 12 or 14. Obviously, my Jared pants aren't going anywhere, and I have a few special dresses and suits that I plan to get tailored once I officially stop losing.

Welllll. . . I didn't realize until this weekend that there are actually a substantial number of "before" items hiding in my apartment. In fact, they are all hiding in the same spot. . . my undies drawer! I guess I didn't realize it because all of the newest things tend to be on top.

So, how did I figure out that this stash of too-big items existed?? Did I notice it, then clean out the drawer? Why noooooo! Of course not!! Instead, I grabbed what I thought were some cute, new undies and wore them with my dress to brunch on Saturday. As my friend and I were walking down the street, I felt them start to slowly migrate southward - yikes!! I had to spend the rest of the day on stealth-tug duty, or I would have had a serious I-See-London-I-See-France situation on my hands!!

Bandsters, Beware!! :)

So, the moral of my story is to remember to treat yourselves to some cute new undies and get rid of the oldies! And be careful when you are getting dressed!! :)

Spin Me Right Round

I am really enjoying this new spin workout that I've been doing! This studio has much cooler spin classes than I've taken at other gyms, in part because they are so hardcore about it. They turn the lights way down, light candles near the instructor, crank up the music, and manage to give a full-body workout in 45 minutes.

Here is a photo of the studio I've been going to.

On Saturday, I had an incredibly active day. I was surprised that I actually wanted to do this, but I got up in time to make an 8:45 a.m. spin class, then got home, changed (and made myself presentable) and went to my usual 10 a.m. yoga class. It was a really intense workout -- and I probably should have had more water inbetween, but aside from a few seconds of a foot cramp, I was fine!

Here is the inside of one of the studios at the place where I go -- but I don't think it's my location.

Once I showered and changed, I went out for a great brunch with my friend Don, who is still in town visiting. After that, I did a quick jaunt to pick up a birthday present for my friend Monica, had a mani/pedi and a quick massage, then made it up town to meet Monica and a bunch of other people to watch the World Cup. And I did all of that by 3 p.m.!

On Sunday, I had to work all day (wah!), which is why I had wanted to pack so much in on Saturday. But, I made it out for a morning spin class and really enjoyed it. I did have a few splurge things to eat this weekend (steak, chocolate, etc.), but with all that working out, I was still surprised to see that my scale was up a little this morning. I wonder if it's due to the food or to building some more lean muscle mass. Hopefully the latter!

Public Perception and Soulllllllllll Cycles!

Tonight, I went back and looked at my photos from my trip to Monterrey, Mexico for my lap band surgery. It's amazing to me to see how far I've come since October of 2008, and it's hard for me to believe that I was ever as heavy as I actually was.

Photo on the left is me, two days after surgery. The one on the right is from last weekend.

A few interesting things have happened this week. For starters, several months ago, I randomly ran into a guy (Jason) who I used to see when I was in law school. He was extremely good looking, was a graphic design student at the Corcoran School of Art in D.C., and lived in my apartment building. My friends and I used to call him "the dirty hottie" before we got to know him because. . well, he was so cute that he made our minds wander! :) In any event, we met, wound up seeing one another for a few months while I was on hiatus from my relationship with my law school boyfriend, and we became really good friends.

When I ran into Jason, I was having dinner with a friend at a pub near my office. It had been 10 years or so since we'd seen one another, but he came up to me, and I recognized him right away. We exchanged information and have been trying to get together ever since (he lives elsewhere, but gets to NYC regularly for work). Anyway, last night, he e-mailed on the off-chance that I was free, and we wound up having dinner at a cool restaurant in Soho where he knew the chef and half the staff. They kept bringing out all sorts of wonderful things for us to try, and we were given some serious superstar treatment.

It was great to see him (he is still ridiculously cute) and to catch up (don't get too excited. . . he is married. . has two kids and he and his wife just separated and are living apart. . too messy for me). It was great to be able to pick up as though no time had passed. For me, this was really funny because Jason has no idea that I'd gotten so heavy in the intervening years. I'm kind of like (internally): "Hi! I've looked this good the whole time!" He said that he thought I looked just the same, and said something about how good it was that I was in such good shape. (I was like. . "Oh, if you only knew the long road it's been!" -- though I didn't say anything of the sort!)

In other news, tonight, I finally made it to this new spin studio near my house. It's a really cool studio (you can see the name below) and the class was fantastic -- great music, a really motivating instructor, and a challenging full-body workout (we even did a segment for the upper body using weights).

When I got to the studio, I started thinking about Gilly's recent post about the annoying "fat-checker" Zumba instructor at her gym. That made me think about what these people would think of me, coming in to do this challenging spin class -- and I realized that, to them, I probably read as a fit, athletic person. That was kind of a surprising realization, maybe because I hadn't thought about it before. Even in Boot Camp, I was about 30 or 40 pounds heavier when I started, so they know more about from whence I came! After more than a year of Boot Camp though, I have some muscles (to be said as "musckles" a la Popeye) and am in good enough shape that I can do any normal gym's classes without keeling over.

It's also kind of surprising to me -- someone who avoided working out for so long, who NEVER, EVER thought of herself as athletic, and who was just not self-motivated about the gym -- that I found this new gym through word of mouth, followed up on my own, and went to the class all by myself. That, my friends, is an NSV beyond anything on my wish list. It did not occur to me that I would become someone who would be that self-motivated.

It's amazing, but all those workouts have had such a great impact on how my body looks, and how I feel -- health-wise -- that I want to keep them up. If you look back through this blog, you'll see a bunch of posts through the months about how I felt badly about the fact that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to on the gym front, but I did eventually pull it together. So, if you aren't feeling motivated, don't give up. Just keep trying to motivate yourself and keep trying different types of exercise until you find something you like.

So, there is a theme to my post tonight, which just popped out at me. It's about getting used to the different way we are perceived once we get to goal. For me, it's a real pleasure. I like it, and it tickles me that, after 20 months of working with my band, people who don't know me assume that I've never been seriously overweight.

I am so overwhelmed by the feelings of gratefulness and happiness that I have about finding a tool that would let me get to this wonderful, healthy and extremely positive place. The burden that this has lifted from me is so much greater than the 78 pounds I have lost, and I love it that I finally am able to live my life appreciating how I look, instead of feeling like sh*t that I am not flawlessly perfect.

Another fun 40 celebration!

This past weekend was a complete blast! My best friend, Grace (pictured next to me, below) and two of her best friends since elementary school -- who I've known and liked for about 20 years -- all flew in to town so that we could celebrate our mutual 40th b-days together!

We all stayed in my one bedroom apartment (thank goodness I have two bathrooms!) and I'd been wondering how that would go. Actually, it was completely fine and a lot of fun! It was a lot like college, with all of us getting ready together to go out -- and also a bit like a big slumber party!

"Before"

"After!" LOL

We spent the days walking around town -- through Soho and the West Village and even headed up to Central Park. We also went to all sorts of fun places -- Buddakan (the restaurant in the first Sex in the City movie, where Carrie & Big have their rehearsal dinner), The Standard (where I saw Bono not too long ago), and to a bunch of other places in the Meatpacking District.

Being silly at The Standard!

Grace stayed an extra night so that we would get to hang out together, and we met up with our other closest mutual friend from college (Don -- my friend who you'll recognize from other photos), who also is in town right now. Here is a photo of the three of us. Alert the press. . . I have collarbones! :)

All in all, an awesome weekend! It was just so nice to be with such good, longtime friends, to feel great, and to celebrate! And, I love it that my 40th isn't for a few more months, but I've already had two big celebrations! :) Fun!

What I eat. . .

A bunch of people have asked me what I eat. It varies from day to day, but I generally have three meals and a snack.

Breakfast is usually a yogurt or oatmeal, or the occasional fruit smoothie (I like the Caribbean Breeze from Smoothie King with an extra shot of protein). If it's the weekend, I might have something small, like an egg or a few bites of a granola bar before going to yoga, and then I do brunch for lunch.

When I'm at work, I usually have my lunch delivered. My most common orders are some kind of soup that has plenty of protein in it or a chicken Caesar salad (I mainly eat the chicken -- they are both from Hale & Hearty). I also order grilled salmon from Guy & Gallard, sashimi, or even Thai green curry with rice.

For dinner, if I'm by myself at home, sometimes I'll make a piece of fish, or cook a patty of high quality beef (I only eat hamburger meat at home these days. . too high a risk of PBing to order it out), or I'll have a low calorie frozen dinner (so lame. . but so easy. . ). If I'm out, I'll generally order fish -- it's one of my favorite things to eat anyway, so it's no burden.

Here is exactly what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: A package of instant oatmeal and an iced coffee (with half & half. . some things aren't worth the compromise!)

Lunch: Hale & Hearty Chicken Caesar salad . . . I only ate a little and saved the rest. I mainly ate the chicken, though I did have some lettuce as well. I also had a Snapple diet iced tea with lemon.

Snack: Two small oatmeal raisin cookies

Dinner: Some more of the Hale & Hearty salad

Water: I had somewhere between 6-8 glasses of water throughout the day.

I was at the office past 10 p.m., or I probably would have mixed it up for dinner. I also had one glass of red wine when I got home. And I watched 500 Days of Summer for the second time -- great movie! And, when I say "watched," I mean . .watched the first 30 minutes, then conked out on the sofa for a bit!

The Barbie Bonus

I was thinking recently about how much fun shopping and getting dressed has become since I got banded, and especially as I got closer to goal. It suddenly dawned on me that . . . I feel a little bit like a girl with a new Barbie . . . but that Barbie is me! How silly is that?! But seriously, it's a lot of fun after years of being substantially overweight to have a body that I can dress in all kinds of cute outfits. It's nice to have less restrictive fashion parameters, not to have to worry about Spanx or showing my arms, and to be able to shop anywhere.

Last weekend, I went out to Fire Island with Marjorie and a few other friends (we shared a house out there) and had a great time. I got to pack a bunch of new outfits (most of which you've already seen in other photos), felt comfortable at the beach in my bikini, and was just generally comfortable and not in a funk because of my weight. It's just so nice to be free from all those negative feelings about weight.

SEVENTY-EIGHT!!

Wow -- I am really surprised, but the scale this morning showed me at 78 pounds down! I am just 2 pounds away from having lost 80 pounds. . . and only 7 pounds from my aspirational goal. I'm really surprised to be down another pound this soon, but I'll take it! I think having that unfill was a good step -- I've been able to eat better protein (i.e. more chicken and fish, less cheese), and that must have helped with this last pound!

Fill Adjustment

First, I have to thank you guys for all of your extremely nice comments on my last post! I could not believe how many people commented, and you were all so incredibly positive and supportive that it just made me feel great! Thank you!!

On Friday, I went in to Dr. Ren's office to get a tiny un-fill. I'd been at 3.0 in my 5 cc band, and it was just the tiniest bit too much. I was having more trouble eating and a tiny bit of reflux here and there. Actually, being too tight isn't much help for me on the weight loss front because I spent the time from my last fill until Friday making food choices that weren't as good as they could have been if I wasn't favoring foods that went down more easily.
So, I went in to Dr. Ren and had her take out .1 ccs. I am now at 2.9 ccs in my 5.0 cc band. That is just .05 up from the sweet spot where I happily stayed for around 11 months. So far, this seems like a decent spot for me, and I'm hopeful that this is a spot where I'll be able to stay indefinitely.

In other news, I engaged in some more backsliding behavior with C this weekend. I really need to meet someone else so that he and I can transition to just being friends, permanently. I just so much would prefer to be with someone who is crazy about me and dying to be in a relationship with me. That's what I want, and it's frustrating to me that it's so hard to find.

Aaaaaaaaaack. . . Nervous to post this!!

OK, I may very well delete this within the next few days, but enough of you have asked for a bikini pic. . . and enough of you have been brave enough to post your own bikini pics. . . that I'm going to suck it up and do it, despite my internal cringing and nervousness! Here you go, dear readers. Me, in a bikini after losing just about 77 pounds! . . .



The beauty of the bikini for me is that my problem areas are . . and always have been . . . my legs, not my stomach. So, wearing a one piece really doesn't hide more flaws than the two piece. Be gentle on me, people. . . it's a huge leap of trust and faith for me to post this!!

Memorial Day in New Mexico!

Sculptures at the entrance of the Hyatt Tamaya

I took two extra days off over the Memorial Day weekend and headed to New Mexico to meet my mother, my sister (again, technically, "ex-step-sister") and her mother at a resort called the Hyatt Tamaya in Santa Ana Pueblo. It's a gorgeous spot, and Christine (my sister) and I have been there together before.

Having an iced coffee at an outdoor cafe after lunch

The weather was spectacular! Really sunny and gorgeous. I was able to start almost every day with a 75 minute yoga class at the resort's gym, which was a wonderful way to get centered, get some exercise and begin the day in a nice frame of mind. One day, I did that class, played tennis for two hours with Christine, then went to the pool. . . IN MY BIKINI (!). . . then had a 90 minute hot rock massage (phenominal), then a dinner that started with rose champagne and ended with dark chocolate fondue. Not too shabby!! :)

Here is a shot of the pool where I spent most of my pool-time. There is a great slide in this building!

Me, coming out of the slide!

One of the biggest NSVs for me on this trip was that I had bought a bunch of new outfits. Obviously, the bikini was one of them, but I also bought the cute tennis outfit shown below, some new dresses (including the one in the first photo), and a bunch of really cute workout clothing. It felt so great to be able to wear those cute outfits and to just feel good. I was comfortable in the heat, my tennis game and endurance is SO much better after a year of boot camp (!), and I just really enjoyed feeling fantastic and being comfortable in my skin.

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One day, I was sitting next to a very heavy woman at the pool. She was really well dressed, had a nice family and was reading Laura Bush's biography. But she sat out there fully dressed, despite that it was really warm. I really wanted to tell her about the band, but I didn't because I did not want to upset her and/or make her feel bad about her weight. I have the impulse to tell people about the band all the time, when I think it's something that could help them. But I do know that hearing that you're heavy enough to be a candidate for WLS probably is not welcome news to everyone. So, I hold back almost all of the time.

My new tennis outfit!

One night, we went over to the casino and bowled with my nephew and his grandfather (his dad and grandparents live in NM, so they were able to visit with him while we did more grownup stuff during the day).

Bowling togs
Helping my nephew bowl! I was so stressed that he wanted to put his fingers in the ball! I thought he might get hurt, but it was fine!

Me, channeling Mary Catherine Gallagher! Hey. . when you make as many gutterballs as I do, it's wise to do it with flare!

Christine and I had actually planned this trip to celebrate our mutual 40th birthdays. One night, the moms took us to a really nice restaurant (Prairie Star) near the resort for a celebratory dinner. Here we all are, on the restaurant's terrace. My hair looks crazy, but whatever!

Here my mom and I are at the dinner of the champagne and fondue! I wore my cougar dress. . . partially in honor of the very cute 25 year old guy at the spa who we spent a lot of time talking to and who wanted us to meet him for a drink at the casino! I'm pretty sure that was directed right at me, so. . rar! :) LOL

SEVENTY-SEVEN!!!

WOW! I did not expect to see a new low number on the scale after my Memorial Day weekend vacation! But, I did work out a lot during my trip. I was in Santa Ana Pueblo, New Mexico with my mother, my sister (who is technically my ex-step-sister -- her mom was married to my dad for almost 20 years and we're the same age), and her mom, Nancy. Our family really takes this whole modern family thing to a new level! I love it though. It's so nice that my mom and Nancy get along and that we can all get together.

I'll post about the trip soon! Just wanted to share the SEVENTY-SEVEN news with you! I am now 3 pounds below goal and 8 pounds from my aspirational goal. AND, I wore a bikini on my trip to New Mexico!! And I felt great in it. That is an NSV that I never imagined I'd ever get to experience at the beginning of this process!! But, lo and behold, guess who has a tan, reasonably flat tummy?? :D

Back in town. . . and Important Blog Etiquette Point

Hi! I just got back from several days in Boston for a conference. I had a great time, saw several clients, did a pitch for new work, followed up on another pitch, and went to a lot of parties!

Me in the elevator of my hotel. Channeling Vermeer. .

One night, I stayed out pretty late Latin dancing with some people from a friend's firm in Canada. There was one guy there who I danced with a lot. . he was really cute, tall and in great shape. The next night, we had a drink together with some other friends, and he and I had dinner together, just the two of us. I knew he was probably a bit younger than me, but hadn't really thought about it. Cut to me finding out that he was 25 years old!! 14 years younger than me!! Born in 1984, the year I entered high school. But I felt pretty fabulous that someone so young was hitting on me! :)

I may know a few people who should wear that sign too!
Where is the VIP Hooker Entrance?

In other news, a blogger friend of mine was recently outed to her boss through someone who reads her blog. It doesn't sound like this was done maliciously at all. It just sounds like a case of speaking without giving any thought to the impact that could have for the blogger, her privacy, and her relationship to her boss. At least in this case, the boss knew about the surgery, so it wasn't as much of a disaster as it might have been. But, he didn't know about the blog, and now that he does, she had to go back and edit earlier posts, and it also is going to impact how open my friend can be in the future, which is a shame for all of us who love her blog.

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Anyway, I just wanted to encourage everyone who reads bandster blogs to keep in mind that many of us are very private about our surgery -- and that even those bandsters who are open about surgery probably do not let everyone read their blogs. We all really put a lot of intensely personal information out there, and it's generally intended only for other bandsters and our nearest & dearest.

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I know this all goes without saying for 99% of bandsters. But, if you happen to realize that you know someone who knows another bandster through work or personal contacts, please don't tell them that the connection you have is the common surgery, unless you cleared it with the other person first. And, of course, if the bandster is a blogger, please don't tell the other person that the blog exists, and definitely do not give them the link!

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I'm still blown away by that outing. So uncool!!

November Milestone

I turn (gulp!) forty this coming November. The big four-oh. As in, Lordy Lordy. . . Look Who's Forty. Ack! Not too much freaks me out about that. . . aside from the biological clock implications and the actual number itself. One reason I'm not as freaked out as I might otherwise be is because of the band and everything it's helped me to accomplish over the last 18 months. I'm not going to be entering this new decade "fair, fat and forty." Fair, yes. . . . forty, yes. . . Fat. . not-a-so-much! :)

My thought is this: I have six months to go until my birthday. I'd like to be at my ultimate goal weight by then. I think that number is 7.2 pounds away from where I am this morning (down another .4 from my last low as of two days ago). I reserve the right to stop before then if I feel like I look too thin (oh, to have such problems!). But, I'd really like to enter 40 with my body looking better than it ever has before. It's amazing to me that this is a realistic goal at this stage in my life. I don't think I could have fully processed that a year or two ago.

Another Supper Club Adventure (Updated)

On Saturday, Marjorie and I ventured out to Williamsburg, Brooklyn for another underground supper club event. We had not been to one by this group before, but had gotten to know one of its principals (Mark, shown in the photo below) at the Italian Christmas Meal, and really liked him. We've heard a lot of great things about his group since then, and had been wanting to get a spot at one of their dinners for months.

A few of you asked what a supper club is. I don't know that there is any set definition, but the ones I've been going to are generally run by chefs, or people who love to cook, and take place in settings other than restaurants -- sometimes in apartments, other times in other spaces, like an art gallery or a test kitchen. You find out about the events through the e-mail lists of the organizing club, the e-mails give a general idea of location, and after you sign up (and, generally, pay through PayPal), you are given the address and other details for the event. Typically, I go with one friend (usually Marjorie), and lately, we've been running into people at these events who we know (and like) through other supper club experiences.

Mark, plating a delicious puree of watermelon with some kind of amazing herbed creme.

The dinner was held in the apartment shared by Mark and his roommates. It's in an old warehouse building that has been converted into lofts. The space was very untraditional, funky, cool, and has very eclectic decor. They have a swing in the kitchen (so nice to be able to swing while watching people cook). . and all sorts of other eye-catching, interesting things everywhere you look. We were all fascinated by the crazy bunny chandelier shown below. . it was hung way up high, and only the tails light up!

By the light of the. . .bunny tail?

The first course was a pea soup with fresh wasabi. . . which tasted just like wasabi peas, which I love! My band has been pretty tight lately (I really need to get a teeny un-fill. . just .05 ccs would do the trick), so I was happy for a soup course. I was actually not able to eat too much at the dinner, but I did at least get to try every course. This course was followed by a salad course that I was not able to do justice, eating-wise . . . Fortunately, the main course was a plate of perfectly cooked scallops with a white peach/mango salsa, which was very easy to eat. I only was able to finish about 1 1/2 scallops though. Happily, the servers had us pass our plates down after each course, so I was able to do the cover-my-plate-with-someone-else's trick to avoid getting looks or questions about why I had barely eaten anything. I really enjoyed the food, but with my band being a bit finicky, I thought it was best to just taste a bit of everything and not to take any chances on getting stuck. With about 5 courses, I certainly did not leave hungry, even though I just sampled the different offerings.

Our table, which consisted of me, Marjorie, a local landscape designer and his two friends (Danish nursing students), and a documentary filmmaker.

I love this photo of Miss M scoping out the dessert . . . delicious bread pudding with almonds! I was thinking. . . um, great. . BREAD pudding. . I'll never be able to eat this! However, I tried it out and was able to eat a few bites without any problem. Actually, it was really yummy -- very lightly spiced, and the almonds gave it a great flavor and texture.
Here we are with A, who you may recognize from the photos of the Italian Christmas Meal. He and several others showed up after dinner for drinks, which added to our fun! Actually, he said something about having seen my photos from the other meal on Facebook and "blogs" or something like that, which makes me think that he also came across my blog through the Google Alert, or through my other friend. They are both guys who I get the sense are sensitive enough to understand that I am private about my surgery (er, aside from broadcasting my most intimate thoughts about it on-line. . albeit semi-anonymously!), and I'm OK with them having come across the blog honestly.

After dinner, we sat around the bar that Mark and his roommates built in their apartment. A few people took turns manning the bar, making really fantastic cocktails, and the company was very good. We wound up staying until about 3:30 a.m.! Someone asked me "when do you sleep" in response to my last post. The answer to that question is "Sunday" for Wednesday through Saturday of last week! :)

Hanging out at the bar with Miss M!

Galavanting. . .

Maybe it's the improved weather, but I was out and about more last week than usual -- including staying out entirely too late on two work nights, which isn't something I do very often.

On Wednesday night, I was invited to a launch party for Belvedere vodka's new pink grapefruit flavored vodka, which is delicious! The party was at a spot in the Meatpacking Distirct, and I was hoping for some good celeb sightings to report, but no such luck! My friend H and I went to grab dinner before the party, ran into another friend at the restaurant, and we were all having such a good time catching up that by the time we got to the Belvedere event, it was already breaking up. Oops! Still, it was a really fun night, and I am glad that I went.

Me at the Belvedere party. . I got to wear my new dress!

On Thursday, Marjorie and I met up for an early dinner. As we were there, I saw an invitation on Facebook for something starting right around the corner in about 15 minutes. C has been taking an improv class, and they were having their end-of-course show at a nearby theater. Marjorie and I decided to go, and it was actually a really good show -- very funny and entertaining. Of course, that led to drinks afterwards with C, his class and others, and to some very enjoyable backsliding behavior . . . Oy! Well, I'm nothing if not human. . .

At the rooftop venue of the NYC Alumni Associations of the University of Texas and Texas A&M's Annual Chili Cook-Off

Saturday was another really great day! It was GORGEOUS out here, after weeks of unseasonable cold and rain. Jen and I met up to go to the Annual Chili Cook-off held by the NYC alumni associations of the University of Texas and Texas A&M. It was a perfect day for the event, and we had a great time catching up, trying out chili and soaking up some sun.

Jen & me

Here is another shot of the view from the event!

On Saturday night, I went to an event held by another underground supper club that I hadn't gone to before. Sorry. . not posting the name due to Google Alert paranoia! I will post photos separately. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I'm an S.O.B.!! :)

I am very honored to have been invited by Gen to do a Q&A for her new Superstars of the Band ("S.O.B.") blog! Here is a link to that post.

Gen, thank you so much for that incredibly nice introduction, and especially for putting this interesting blog together. I've really enjoyed reading others' posts on here, and can't wait to read more!

The Anti-Jared Pants. . .

Most of you know that I kept two pairs of my "before" pants so that I can play Jared from Subway when the fancy strikes me. Other than that, I've given away nearly every stitch of clothing that I have that no longer fits me.


So, the converse of this is that, when I was piling ON all the weight, I kept a pair of black size 10 Banana Republic pants. They were emblematic of a time when I was reasonably happy of my weight, and I kept them as a symbol of the size I would like to be again. Until I got my band and it sank in that getting to goal would be a possibility, I didn't think I'd ever fit into those pants again.

At Dune restaurant on Paradise Island, Bahamas in 2001 with my friends Sofia (in the middle) and Rebecca. I am 99.9% sure I had those BR pants on. . even though you can't see them!

On Friday, I was getting ready for work and was -- once again -- having the problem of not having enough clothing that fits! With the exception of my new white pants (which I'd worn the week before), none of my other pants fit! Or. . so I thought. On a whim, I got out my anti-Jared pants and put them on. And, not only did they fit. . . but they were just a little bit too big. W-O-W. I did not expect that at all.

I wound up going to The Gap during lunch to try to find some other pants that I could wear to work, but no luck. However, I did buy -- for the first time in probably ten years (!) -- a pair of shorts (!) and a very cute maxi-dress.

Also -- I wore my dress from the last two posts out last night to a Cinco de Mayo mixer held by several private clubs (total Gossip Girl scene on the Upper East Side. . xoxo). I had a great time, the dress was a hit, and I really enjoyed wearing it! :)

Comparison Time. . . and thoughts on exercise

I thought it might be interesting to put yesterday's photo in context. So, on the left, a photo taken of me seven days post-op and on the right is the photo from yesterday. What a difference 18 months has made!

(You can click on the photo to make it larger)

I really want to encourage any bandsters who haven't started exercising yet to start thinking about -- and trying -- different kinds of exercise that you think you might like. It took me a long time to really start exercising in earnest after my surgery, and I completely get it that it's easier to exercise when you are carrying around less weight. I'm not proud of this part, but it took me months to actually really get into the gym, and it wasn't until about seven months post-op that I started going to Boot Camp. But, ever since I found Boot Camp, I've been working out seriously and regularly for almost an entire year, solid!

I've seen lots of bandsters get excited about exercise into this process. Just look at Sarah, who blogged one day about her secret desire to run, and now does 10Ks. Angie has become a total gym maniac, Amy and Mary meet up at Zumba these days, Jen, Gen and Peter have joined the ranks of the bandster runners, and Gilly is bellydancing! There are so many different ways to get out there and move, and I think the trick is finding one that you actually like so that you'll stick with it. The exercise has helped incredibly with keeping my weight loss moving (despite that it stalled me for six weeks at the beginning when I was building muscle) and in getting toned. Anyway, just wanted to encourage anyone who hasn't gotten on the exercise wagon to keep trying new things until you find one that you enjoy!

A Shopping Miracle. . .

Total cheesecake. . . lol

Ahhhhhh!! It's here!! My shopping miracle dress arrived tonight. Meanwhile, I'd been at Boot Camp, so I actually showered and reapplied makeup just to be worthy of trying on this dress! This is a dress that I was stalking for quite a while, and I can hardly believe my luck in finding it!

This affair began on March 7th, when I first found this dress during a trip to Lord & Taylor with fellow bandster and friend, Tracy. At the time, I thought it was by Cynthia Steffe, but it's actually a Kay Unger. When I first tried it on, the 10 was a bit too tight. I went back to try it again when my mom was visiting, but just couldn't justify the purchase. THEN, I went back two weekends ago to find it, and the dress was on the clearance rack for $100 less than the original price. BUT, there was no 10 in sight. I even got on the floor and looked under the racks (tons of dresses down there). . we even checked the fitting rooms -- agh! No 10s! The next closest size was a 6, and . . well, there is no way that was happening. . . !

Then the quest began in earnest. I had Lord & Taylor check all other stores. Not a 10 to be found. I then called three other L&Ts because I wasn't convinced the person in NYC checked all of their stores. I got my shopper at Saks involved. . but they don't carry the dress. I searched all over the Internet, but only could find it at Neiman's, and they didn't have my size on-line. So, I called Neiman's. . they said they MIGHT have one in California. But, they called and it was gone. (OMG, this story is so long. . are you still awake?!? I swear, it gets slightly more interesting in a sec. . . hang in there!!)

Cut to me stalking the NM website every single day until. . . last week, a 10 miraculously appeared on the site. Now, here's the weird part. . . Marjorie and I had been joking (er, but we weren't really joking) that if I found the dress, that would be God's way of telling me to attend Jessica & Chris's wedding. Yes, that's the dress I was planning to wear (and hopefully give PP trauma!). BUT, the dress did not actually appear until . . . (insert Twilight Zone music. . ) . . . the very morning AFTER I bowed out of the wedding!

So, I guess God wanted me to have it after all. . but just not to go to the wedding. ;) And, God was so great as to give me an even better deal than at L&T. I got the dress for more than $150 off the original price at L&T. Thank God! Literally. :)

And, it just occurred to me what the very best part of this whole story is. I actually like shopping again. I get excited about putting on a pretty dress now, rather than dread it. I'm not afraid to try to zip it up, put on some heels and face friends and strangers, and I no longer stress out, wondering if they will think I look fat and/or fatter than I did the last time they saw me. Being free from that is such an amazing feeling, and I'd gladly give up this dress a hundred times over to keep that feeling! (Not to mention that I can actually wear heels all night now without my feet hurting to the point that it ruins half the fun.) I think about these kinds of things a lot, and I am overwhelmed by how grateful I feel to have been able to be banded and to make this work. I'm also very grateful for all of your support and friendship, which has been (and continues to be) a huge source of comfort, encouragement and inspiration for me.

Aaaaaaaaa!

YIKES!!! I had a bad week last week, in that I had a terrible cold and did not make it to the gym at all. Add to that the fact that I was eating all kinds of crazy stuff this weekend (dessert at The Standard Grill, some fries, two mozzarella sticks, etc. ) and the scale is up FOUR pounds this morning. Aaaaaaaa!!!

OK. I'm done with my freakout. I know this will come right off once I get back to my normal routine. . . which is happening right this second!! (Seriously though. . four pounds!!)

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Update: I actually forgot to post this earlier, but thought it was worth mentioning that PP. . Mr. Can't-Move-Forward himself. . . is now engaged to the girl he met two months after our breakup. It's been long enough that I am not sad or upset by this news. Maybe a little angry, but not even that much. Still, I'm very glad that I already bowed out of going to Jessica & Chris's wedding so that I won't have to see him there.

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OK, Weird. . . another update. I just got on my scale again and it's back to normal. No plus four pounds. Actually, it's up .2, but that's no biggie. I think the cleaning lady did something weird to my scale when she was here on Friday. WHEWWWW though. I was freaking!!

Rosa Cha cha cha. . .

Eek! I did it! I went to Rosa Cha yesterday and bought . . a black bikini! I really wasn't up to putting a full length bikini pic of myself on the Internet, but you can see the top here. This is really a fantastic swimsuit. The top is perfect -- great support, appropriate coverage -- and the bottoms have a fold-over of material at the top, so you can fold more or less to get more or less coverage. Perfect for someone like me, who hasn't been in a two-piece bathing suit for more than ten years!!


This is a monumental NSV for me!! And, I was glad that I went to Rosa Cha to for the experience because that made it feel more significant. To give you some more context, Rosa Cha is a Brazillian swimwear line, and they have a boutique in Soho. It's the kind of place where models and celebrities shop for their bikinis. To get in, you have to ring the bell and be buzzed in. Then, when you are trying on suits, you are put in a gorgeous jewel box of a room with quilted leather walls and a quilted leather sofa (that's where I was when I took the photo above). Forget privacy. . . the saleswomen have seen it all and come in and out. I fessed up to having just lost 76 pounds, in part because I didn't want the woman to be like. . . um, wouldn't you rather see a one piece?! :) She was actually really great -- very encouraging and brought me some very good choices. In fact, I really loved another suit. . .but when I saw that the bottoms alone were $320, I reconsidered! I got out of there for about $230, all told. Whew!


In other news, I had such a great time catching up with L & Nadia this weekend! We had dinner at The Standard Grill and sat outside because the weather was absolutely gorgeous. And, I'm glad we did because. . . who did we see walking in to the restaurant?? (Standing where the girl in red is in the photo above.) None other than Bono! Apparently, he likes that spot as much as I do! :)
I hope you all had a great weekend!