I haven't written for a few days because I wasn't sure exactly how much I wanted to blog about this. Still, it's totally band-relevant, and definitely part of this process.
On Monday night, I had dinner with my ex-boyfriend. The one of the Peter Pan Avoidance Tour. I told him about the band back in November, which was the last time I saw him (I was about 13 lbs down then) before he took off on a 3-month trip.
On an emotional level, the dinner was a really good thing for me to do to get some more closure. It's hard for me to understand how a guy who says he loves and cares about me, that I'm his best friend, that he still feels the chemistry between us, and that our relationship is "World Class" and "the best one [he's] ever seen" wouldn't also have the desire to marry and have children with me. But that's the case. So, while I really thought he was the right guy for me for more than 2 years, it turns out that he isn't after all, since those are two things I really want.
OK, so now for the happy band-related part. I did get to walk into that restaurant knowing that I am 34 lbs thinner than when I started (and than the version of myself he likely has in his mind, has in photos, etc.). I also got to see that "WOW!" look when he saw me take off my coat. He kept trying not to give me the full-on elevator-eye treatment, but it was clearly a struggle for him. And, it was great to hear how good he thought I look and all of the nice things he had to say about that. He also noticed that I'm actually thinner now than when we first met, which is true. So, I guess that's an NSV -- definitely a very bittersweet one, given the things we talked about, but an NSV nonetheless.
On Monday night, I had dinner with my ex-boyfriend. The one of the Peter Pan Avoidance Tour. I told him about the band back in November, which was the last time I saw him (I was about 13 lbs down then) before he took off on a 3-month trip.
On an emotional level, the dinner was a really good thing for me to do to get some more closure. It's hard for me to understand how a guy who says he loves and cares about me, that I'm his best friend, that he still feels the chemistry between us, and that our relationship is "World Class" and "the best one [he's] ever seen" wouldn't also have the desire to marry and have children with me. But that's the case. So, while I really thought he was the right guy for me for more than 2 years, it turns out that he isn't after all, since those are two things I really want.
OK, so now for the happy band-related part. I did get to walk into that restaurant knowing that I am 34 lbs thinner than when I started (and than the version of myself he likely has in his mind, has in photos, etc.). I also got to see that "WOW!" look when he saw me take off my coat. He kept trying not to give me the full-on elevator-eye treatment, but it was clearly a struggle for him. And, it was great to hear how good he thought I look and all of the nice things he had to say about that. He also noticed that I'm actually thinner now than when we first met, which is true. So, I guess that's an NSV -- definitely a very bittersweet one, given the things we talked about, but an NSV nonetheless.
And, to lighten the mood, here is a photo taken of me last night at Artisanal (great bistro-style restaurant with amazing cheeses -- my friends and I were happily surprised to be given the table in the private cheese cellar, which was amazing! Look at all of the cheese behind me. . )
1 comment:
That must be tough for you, but good job holding your own, and being able to keep a friendship through it.
You look great, too, your pretty bone structure is just showing more and more in your face! xx
Post a Comment