Um, is it bad that I'm not posting . . .

Because I don't want to put up pictures of any new outfits that I might wear in Chicago?! :) OK, will just refrain from putting up any personal photos today! (I'm still building the new wardrobe. . there are not infinite choices yet!) :)

I thought this was a great message. Even if it should say "yesterday has gone". . . :)

In addition to the dreamy dermatologist, I also had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Ren last week. I seriously thought about cancelling it, since I didn't need a fill, but by the time I got it together to actually call, it was too late to cancel. So, I wound up going.

Every time I'm in that office, I wonder if someone who knows me through the blog is in the waiting room, but so far, no one has ever said anything. I totally sported my new hot pink DVF sheath dress (photo in recent post). I figured that if I had to go to the appointment, I might as well represent! Hee hee :)

Maybe I'm overly emotional, but every time I get to Dr. Ren's office, I feel like I just want to burst into tears -- tears of happiness, relief and gratitude. I suppose that being in that waiting room really drives home for me how far I've come with my band, and reminds me of all the many steps along the way. So I totally rein it in, but when I was talking to Dr. Ren, I wound up getting all teary-eyed. She was really happy with my progress and glad that I'm having a relatively easy time of maintenance. She even asked me if I'd gone public about my surgery, since they get a lot of media requests. As fun as that sounds, I don't want to do it -- I like my privacy too much.

Anyway, I started telling her how good I feel, how much I'm enjoying life, and how much better my quality of life is now that I'm comfortable all of the time and have been able to let go of the self-loathing I felt about my weight. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for everything she has done to help me along in this process and told her how grateful I am to have found this tool and to have found a way to get my self (that girl I used to see in the mirror) back.

I sent a note to the same effect to Dr. Rumbaut and his team (he is my surgeon in Monterrey, Mexico) recently. I've been so happy with the job they did. I have only two incisions, the scars have healed very nicely (one is pretty hard to see, the other is faded but not invisible), and they placed my port in a great spot. You still can't see it, even though I'm at goal.

As for my aspirational goal of 145, I'm not sure I'm going to get there. My weight likes to hover around 153, even with all the workouts I am doing. But that's completely fine with me. I don't feel compelled to lose more, though I'd be psyched to get off another 5 pounds. We'll see how it goes . . :)