Back in town. . . and Important Blog Etiquette Point

Hi! I just got back from several days in Boston for a conference. I had a great time, saw several clients, did a pitch for new work, followed up on another pitch, and went to a lot of parties!

Me in the elevator of my hotel. Channeling Vermeer. .

One night, I stayed out pretty late Latin dancing with some people from a friend's firm in Canada. There was one guy there who I danced with a lot. . he was really cute, tall and in great shape. The next night, we had a drink together with some other friends, and he and I had dinner together, just the two of us. I knew he was probably a bit younger than me, but hadn't really thought about it. Cut to me finding out that he was 25 years old!! 14 years younger than me!! Born in 1984, the year I entered high school. But I felt pretty fabulous that someone so young was hitting on me! :)

I may know a few people who should wear that sign too!
Where is the VIP Hooker Entrance?

In other news, a blogger friend of mine was recently outed to her boss through someone who reads her blog. It doesn't sound like this was done maliciously at all. It just sounds like a case of speaking without giving any thought to the impact that could have for the blogger, her privacy, and her relationship to her boss. At least in this case, the boss knew about the surgery, so it wasn't as much of a disaster as it might have been. But, he didn't know about the blog, and now that he does, she had to go back and edit earlier posts, and it also is going to impact how open my friend can be in the future, which is a shame for all of us who love her blog.

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Anyway, I just wanted to encourage everyone who reads bandster blogs to keep in mind that many of us are very private about our surgery -- and that even those bandsters who are open about surgery probably do not let everyone read their blogs. We all really put a lot of intensely personal information out there, and it's generally intended only for other bandsters and our nearest & dearest.

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I know this all goes without saying for 99% of bandsters. But, if you happen to realize that you know someone who knows another bandster through work or personal contacts, please don't tell them that the connection you have is the common surgery, unless you cleared it with the other person first. And, of course, if the bandster is a blogger, please don't tell the other person that the blog exists, and definitely do not give them the link!

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I'm still blown away by that outing. So uncool!!

November Milestone

I turn (gulp!) forty this coming November. The big four-oh. As in, Lordy Lordy. . . Look Who's Forty. Ack! Not too much freaks me out about that. . . aside from the biological clock implications and the actual number itself. One reason I'm not as freaked out as I might otherwise be is because of the band and everything it's helped me to accomplish over the last 18 months. I'm not going to be entering this new decade "fair, fat and forty." Fair, yes. . . . forty, yes. . . Fat. . not-a-so-much! :)

My thought is this: I have six months to go until my birthday. I'd like to be at my ultimate goal weight by then. I think that number is 7.2 pounds away from where I am this morning (down another .4 from my last low as of two days ago). I reserve the right to stop before then if I feel like I look too thin (oh, to have such problems!). But, I'd really like to enter 40 with my body looking better than it ever has before. It's amazing to me that this is a realistic goal at this stage in my life. I don't think I could have fully processed that a year or two ago.

Another Supper Club Adventure (Updated)

On Saturday, Marjorie and I ventured out to Williamsburg, Brooklyn for another underground supper club event. We had not been to one by this group before, but had gotten to know one of its principals (Mark, shown in the photo below) at the Italian Christmas Meal, and really liked him. We've heard a lot of great things about his group since then, and had been wanting to get a spot at one of their dinners for months.

A few of you asked what a supper club is. I don't know that there is any set definition, but the ones I've been going to are generally run by chefs, or people who love to cook, and take place in settings other than restaurants -- sometimes in apartments, other times in other spaces, like an art gallery or a test kitchen. You find out about the events through the e-mail lists of the organizing club, the e-mails give a general idea of location, and after you sign up (and, generally, pay through PayPal), you are given the address and other details for the event. Typically, I go with one friend (usually Marjorie), and lately, we've been running into people at these events who we know (and like) through other supper club experiences.

Mark, plating a delicious puree of watermelon with some kind of amazing herbed creme.

The dinner was held in the apartment shared by Mark and his roommates. It's in an old warehouse building that has been converted into lofts. The space was very untraditional, funky, cool, and has very eclectic decor. They have a swing in the kitchen (so nice to be able to swing while watching people cook). . and all sorts of other eye-catching, interesting things everywhere you look. We were all fascinated by the crazy bunny chandelier shown below. . it was hung way up high, and only the tails light up!

By the light of the. . .bunny tail?

The first course was a pea soup with fresh wasabi. . . which tasted just like wasabi peas, which I love! My band has been pretty tight lately (I really need to get a teeny un-fill. . just .05 ccs would do the trick), so I was happy for a soup course. I was actually not able to eat too much at the dinner, but I did at least get to try every course. This course was followed by a salad course that I was not able to do justice, eating-wise . . . Fortunately, the main course was a plate of perfectly cooked scallops with a white peach/mango salsa, which was very easy to eat. I only was able to finish about 1 1/2 scallops though. Happily, the servers had us pass our plates down after each course, so I was able to do the cover-my-plate-with-someone-else's trick to avoid getting looks or questions about why I had barely eaten anything. I really enjoyed the food, but with my band being a bit finicky, I thought it was best to just taste a bit of everything and not to take any chances on getting stuck. With about 5 courses, I certainly did not leave hungry, even though I just sampled the different offerings.

Our table, which consisted of me, Marjorie, a local landscape designer and his two friends (Danish nursing students), and a documentary filmmaker.

I love this photo of Miss M scoping out the dessert . . . delicious bread pudding with almonds! I was thinking. . . um, great. . BREAD pudding. . I'll never be able to eat this! However, I tried it out and was able to eat a few bites without any problem. Actually, it was really yummy -- very lightly spiced, and the almonds gave it a great flavor and texture.
Here we are with A, who you may recognize from the photos of the Italian Christmas Meal. He and several others showed up after dinner for drinks, which added to our fun! Actually, he said something about having seen my photos from the other meal on Facebook and "blogs" or something like that, which makes me think that he also came across my blog through the Google Alert, or through my other friend. They are both guys who I get the sense are sensitive enough to understand that I am private about my surgery (er, aside from broadcasting my most intimate thoughts about it on-line. . albeit semi-anonymously!), and I'm OK with them having come across the blog honestly.

After dinner, we sat around the bar that Mark and his roommates built in their apartment. A few people took turns manning the bar, making really fantastic cocktails, and the company was very good. We wound up staying until about 3:30 a.m.! Someone asked me "when do you sleep" in response to my last post. The answer to that question is "Sunday" for Wednesday through Saturday of last week! :)

Hanging out at the bar with Miss M!

Galavanting. . .

Maybe it's the improved weather, but I was out and about more last week than usual -- including staying out entirely too late on two work nights, which isn't something I do very often.

On Wednesday night, I was invited to a launch party for Belvedere vodka's new pink grapefruit flavored vodka, which is delicious! The party was at a spot in the Meatpacking Distirct, and I was hoping for some good celeb sightings to report, but no such luck! My friend H and I went to grab dinner before the party, ran into another friend at the restaurant, and we were all having such a good time catching up that by the time we got to the Belvedere event, it was already breaking up. Oops! Still, it was a really fun night, and I am glad that I went.

Me at the Belvedere party. . I got to wear my new dress!

On Thursday, Marjorie and I met up for an early dinner. As we were there, I saw an invitation on Facebook for something starting right around the corner in about 15 minutes. C has been taking an improv class, and they were having their end-of-course show at a nearby theater. Marjorie and I decided to go, and it was actually a really good show -- very funny and entertaining. Of course, that led to drinks afterwards with C, his class and others, and to some very enjoyable backsliding behavior . . . Oy! Well, I'm nothing if not human. . .

At the rooftop venue of the NYC Alumni Associations of the University of Texas and Texas A&M's Annual Chili Cook-Off

Saturday was another really great day! It was GORGEOUS out here, after weeks of unseasonable cold and rain. Jen and I met up to go to the Annual Chili Cook-off held by the NYC alumni associations of the University of Texas and Texas A&M. It was a perfect day for the event, and we had a great time catching up, trying out chili and soaking up some sun.

Jen & me

Here is another shot of the view from the event!

On Saturday night, I went to an event held by another underground supper club that I hadn't gone to before. Sorry. . not posting the name due to Google Alert paranoia! I will post photos separately. I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I'm an S.O.B.!! :)

I am very honored to have been invited by Gen to do a Q&A for her new Superstars of the Band ("S.O.B.") blog! Here is a link to that post.

Gen, thank you so much for that incredibly nice introduction, and especially for putting this interesting blog together. I've really enjoyed reading others' posts on here, and can't wait to read more!

The Anti-Jared Pants. . .

Most of you know that I kept two pairs of my "before" pants so that I can play Jared from Subway when the fancy strikes me. Other than that, I've given away nearly every stitch of clothing that I have that no longer fits me.


So, the converse of this is that, when I was piling ON all the weight, I kept a pair of black size 10 Banana Republic pants. They were emblematic of a time when I was reasonably happy of my weight, and I kept them as a symbol of the size I would like to be again. Until I got my band and it sank in that getting to goal would be a possibility, I didn't think I'd ever fit into those pants again.

At Dune restaurant on Paradise Island, Bahamas in 2001 with my friends Sofia (in the middle) and Rebecca. I am 99.9% sure I had those BR pants on. . even though you can't see them!

On Friday, I was getting ready for work and was -- once again -- having the problem of not having enough clothing that fits! With the exception of my new white pants (which I'd worn the week before), none of my other pants fit! Or. . so I thought. On a whim, I got out my anti-Jared pants and put them on. And, not only did they fit. . . but they were just a little bit too big. W-O-W. I did not expect that at all.

I wound up going to The Gap during lunch to try to find some other pants that I could wear to work, but no luck. However, I did buy -- for the first time in probably ten years (!) -- a pair of shorts (!) and a very cute maxi-dress.

Also -- I wore my dress from the last two posts out last night to a Cinco de Mayo mixer held by several private clubs (total Gossip Girl scene on the Upper East Side. . xoxo). I had a great time, the dress was a hit, and I really enjoyed wearing it! :)

Comparison Time. . . and thoughts on exercise

I thought it might be interesting to put yesterday's photo in context. So, on the left, a photo taken of me seven days post-op and on the right is the photo from yesterday. What a difference 18 months has made!

(You can click on the photo to make it larger)

I really want to encourage any bandsters who haven't started exercising yet to start thinking about -- and trying -- different kinds of exercise that you think you might like. It took me a long time to really start exercising in earnest after my surgery, and I completely get it that it's easier to exercise when you are carrying around less weight. I'm not proud of this part, but it took me months to actually really get into the gym, and it wasn't until about seven months post-op that I started going to Boot Camp. But, ever since I found Boot Camp, I've been working out seriously and regularly for almost an entire year, solid!

I've seen lots of bandsters get excited about exercise into this process. Just look at Sarah, who blogged one day about her secret desire to run, and now does 10Ks. Angie has become a total gym maniac, Amy and Mary meet up at Zumba these days, Jen, Gen and Peter have joined the ranks of the bandster runners, and Gilly is bellydancing! There are so many different ways to get out there and move, and I think the trick is finding one that you actually like so that you'll stick with it. The exercise has helped incredibly with keeping my weight loss moving (despite that it stalled me for six weeks at the beginning when I was building muscle) and in getting toned. Anyway, just wanted to encourage anyone who hasn't gotten on the exercise wagon to keep trying new things until you find one that you enjoy!

A Shopping Miracle. . .

Total cheesecake. . . lol

Ahhhhhh!! It's here!! My shopping miracle dress arrived tonight. Meanwhile, I'd been at Boot Camp, so I actually showered and reapplied makeup just to be worthy of trying on this dress! This is a dress that I was stalking for quite a while, and I can hardly believe my luck in finding it!

This affair began on March 7th, when I first found this dress during a trip to Lord & Taylor with fellow bandster and friend, Tracy. At the time, I thought it was by Cynthia Steffe, but it's actually a Kay Unger. When I first tried it on, the 10 was a bit too tight. I went back to try it again when my mom was visiting, but just couldn't justify the purchase. THEN, I went back two weekends ago to find it, and the dress was on the clearance rack for $100 less than the original price. BUT, there was no 10 in sight. I even got on the floor and looked under the racks (tons of dresses down there). . we even checked the fitting rooms -- agh! No 10s! The next closest size was a 6, and . . well, there is no way that was happening. . . !

Then the quest began in earnest. I had Lord & Taylor check all other stores. Not a 10 to be found. I then called three other L&Ts because I wasn't convinced the person in NYC checked all of their stores. I got my shopper at Saks involved. . but they don't carry the dress. I searched all over the Internet, but only could find it at Neiman's, and they didn't have my size on-line. So, I called Neiman's. . they said they MIGHT have one in California. But, they called and it was gone. (OMG, this story is so long. . are you still awake?!? I swear, it gets slightly more interesting in a sec. . . hang in there!!)

Cut to me stalking the NM website every single day until. . . last week, a 10 miraculously appeared on the site. Now, here's the weird part. . . Marjorie and I had been joking (er, but we weren't really joking) that if I found the dress, that would be God's way of telling me to attend Jessica & Chris's wedding. Yes, that's the dress I was planning to wear (and hopefully give PP trauma!). BUT, the dress did not actually appear until . . . (insert Twilight Zone music. . ) . . . the very morning AFTER I bowed out of the wedding!

So, I guess God wanted me to have it after all. . but just not to go to the wedding. ;) And, God was so great as to give me an even better deal than at L&T. I got the dress for more than $150 off the original price at L&T. Thank God! Literally. :)

And, it just occurred to me what the very best part of this whole story is. I actually like shopping again. I get excited about putting on a pretty dress now, rather than dread it. I'm not afraid to try to zip it up, put on some heels and face friends and strangers, and I no longer stress out, wondering if they will think I look fat and/or fatter than I did the last time they saw me. Being free from that is such an amazing feeling, and I'd gladly give up this dress a hundred times over to keep that feeling! (Not to mention that I can actually wear heels all night now without my feet hurting to the point that it ruins half the fun.) I think about these kinds of things a lot, and I am overwhelmed by how grateful I feel to have been able to be banded and to make this work. I'm also very grateful for all of your support and friendship, which has been (and continues to be) a huge source of comfort, encouragement and inspiration for me.

Aaaaaaaaa!

YIKES!!! I had a bad week last week, in that I had a terrible cold and did not make it to the gym at all. Add to that the fact that I was eating all kinds of crazy stuff this weekend (dessert at The Standard Grill, some fries, two mozzarella sticks, etc. ) and the scale is up FOUR pounds this morning. Aaaaaaaa!!!

OK. I'm done with my freakout. I know this will come right off once I get back to my normal routine. . . which is happening right this second!! (Seriously though. . four pounds!!)

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Update: I actually forgot to post this earlier, but thought it was worth mentioning that PP. . Mr. Can't-Move-Forward himself. . . is now engaged to the girl he met two months after our breakup. It's been long enough that I am not sad or upset by this news. Maybe a little angry, but not even that much. Still, I'm very glad that I already bowed out of going to Jessica & Chris's wedding so that I won't have to see him there.

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OK, Weird. . . another update. I just got on my scale again and it's back to normal. No plus four pounds. Actually, it's up .2, but that's no biggie. I think the cleaning lady did something weird to my scale when she was here on Friday. WHEWWWW though. I was freaking!!

Rosa Cha cha cha. . .

Eek! I did it! I went to Rosa Cha yesterday and bought . . a black bikini! I really wasn't up to putting a full length bikini pic of myself on the Internet, but you can see the top here. This is really a fantastic swimsuit. The top is perfect -- great support, appropriate coverage -- and the bottoms have a fold-over of material at the top, so you can fold more or less to get more or less coverage. Perfect for someone like me, who hasn't been in a two-piece bathing suit for more than ten years!!


This is a monumental NSV for me!! And, I was glad that I went to Rosa Cha to for the experience because that made it feel more significant. To give you some more context, Rosa Cha is a Brazillian swimwear line, and they have a boutique in Soho. It's the kind of place where models and celebrities shop for their bikinis. To get in, you have to ring the bell and be buzzed in. Then, when you are trying on suits, you are put in a gorgeous jewel box of a room with quilted leather walls and a quilted leather sofa (that's where I was when I took the photo above). Forget privacy. . . the saleswomen have seen it all and come in and out. I fessed up to having just lost 76 pounds, in part because I didn't want the woman to be like. . . um, wouldn't you rather see a one piece?! :) She was actually really great -- very encouraging and brought me some very good choices. In fact, I really loved another suit. . .but when I saw that the bottoms alone were $320, I reconsidered! I got out of there for about $230, all told. Whew!


In other news, I had such a great time catching up with L & Nadia this weekend! We had dinner at The Standard Grill and sat outside because the weather was absolutely gorgeous. And, I'm glad we did because. . . who did we see walking in to the restaurant?? (Standing where the girl in red is in the photo above.) None other than Bono! Apparently, he likes that spot as much as I do! :)
I hope you all had a great weekend!

Summer Shopping. . .

Last week. . . for the first time since college, I (drumroll, please). . . bought myself a bikini! (Gulp!) This is a major achievement and a huge big deal for me!! Two years ago, it was unimaginable to me that I would ever be able to wear a bikini with confidence ever again!! While I'm not at risk for getting drafted for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, after 18 months of band and 11 months of boot camp, yoga and running, I think I'm representing OK for the 39 and up crowd!

Not me. But hey, with a few hours (days?) of PhotoShop. . maybe it could be?? LOL

I actually bought two bikinis on-line. . and a third yesterday, with the plan of keeping the one(s) that fit the best. I learned an important lesson, which is that I have no idea how a bikini will fit me by looking at a photo of it on-line! Two came in last night, and I rushed in to try them on. . . but they really didn't do the trick for me. I have my fingers crossed on the third, which should get here in a few days -- but I think I'll actually go an try some on over the weekend. Maybe a trip to Rosa Cha is in order. . . :)

I also bought the dress shown below from Athleta. . size medium! It fits great, but the back has this criss-cross action that would make it impossible to wear a bra with the dress. It does have one of those built in bras, but I'm not 100% loving it. . I'd rather look less. . well, squished! I am going to ask my tailor if she can sew something into the lining to make it more like a proper bra. We'll see. .

And, I'm totally psyched for the weekend, because my friend L (at left) is visiting from London, and she, Nadia and I are having dinner together tonight! I can't wait! Has been too long! I am looking forward to seeing her reaction to the change in my appearance. Even Nadia noticed a big difference when I saw her last weekend. I think that the last 5-7 pounds I lost actually made a more noticeable difference than the first 30 that I lost. Interesting!

It Is Decidedly So . . .

Despite its appeal. . and, er. .obvious scientific merit. . I actually did not consult a Magic 8 Ball when I was making my decision!

After thinking it out carefully, reading your comments, and talking to a few friends and family members, I decided not to go to Jessica & Chris's wedding. I was really surprised that almost every comment on my last post said I should go! Believe me . . . the fantasy of showing up fully beautified in a ridiculously hot -- yet tasteful -- dress was a lot of fun to think about!! But, the reality is that I'm not such close friends with J&C that missing their wedding would be a huge deal to me, or to them. And, my thought is that if going and seeing PP (particularly if he is engaged to that girl by then) would make me feel badly for even 5 minutes of my life, then that would be 5 minutes too many.

In terms of the revenge-ish angle, it just doesn't have a big enough payoff for me to make it worthwhile. I don't want him anymore. No matter how he might feel seeing me at that event, it ultimately makes no difference to me at all. Also, I know myself, and if I were to go, I'll be thinking about it frequently from now until June. I'd be thinking about PP when I chose my dress, when I decided what shoes to wear, how to wear my hair, etc. -- and my effort would largely be based on him. But he isn't worth that effort, and I am not going to waste any more of my energy on him than I already have.

In looking at my calendar, I realized that I had actually already made plans to be out on Long Island with other friends over the wedding weekend. So, I was able to truthfully tell Jessica that I'd learned of a scheduling conflict and would have to change my RSVP. I was honest that the information she shared about PP impacted my decision, and I thanked her for being such a sister and sharing that information with me. She is a great girl and clearly understood exactly where I was coming from, and sent me back a very nice, gracious response. So, we are fine and this matter is all straightened out.

I feel really good about my decision, and I know that it was the right one for me. In fact, I feel a bit empowered by it. I want the next time that I put substantial effort into getting ready for an event to be either simply for myself, or for someone worthy of that effort. And that person is not going to be PP. That much I can say with certainty!

Have a great night! :)

Dilemma

Over the weekend, I went to the bachelorette party of my friend Jessica. I really like Jessica, but don't know her that well. We do things with one group of friends together, but I don't think we've even ever talked on the phone, and I don't have her number. I actually got to know her during events leading up to Erica and Adam's wedding last summer, since her fiance (Chris) is friends with PP, Adam and that group of guys. If none of this sounds familiar, just click on this link and you'll find a few posts with all of the background info.

After all the anxiety I had about having to see PP and his new girlfriend at A&E's wedding last summer, I decided early on that I would decline the invitation to Jessica and Chris's wedding. I just didn't want to put myself through that again.

HOWEVER, Erica told me that PP was not invited to the wedding, since he and Chris aren't as close anymore. So, when I got my invitation, I marked it "accepts with pleasure" and sent it back. (I was not invited with a date.) The wedding is at a great venue here in NYC, I really like the couple, and a bunch of other friends will be there. Sounds like a wonderful time.

So, at the bachelorette party, I was talking with Jessica and she mentioned how she got a huge stack of RSVPs when she got back from a recent trip. I don't know why I asked, since I already had it on "good" authority from Erica, but I asked her if PP was invited. AND, he is. And, he is bringing that girl. And they are now living together. AND, apparently, he told Chris about a week ago that they have been looking at engagement rings. Seriously?

Look, I don't want PP back anymore, and I mean that in earnest. What this new person has is just not something that I want. However, that does NOT mean that I want to go to a wedding (without a date, no less) and have to see them together, potentially waving around her engagement ring and exuding happiness. I just know that will have the potential to make me upset.

However, on the other hand, I really don't want him back. And, some petty part of me really wouldn't mind showing up in a fabulous dress looking my absolute best and letting him eat his heart out. And, trust me, I know him well enough to know that this will completely mess him up for at least a few days. Also, I was looking forward to this event when I didn't think he would be there. I found a great dress to wear and was looking forward to seeing some friends there who I don't get to see all that often.

Also, Jessica was really surprised when I told her that Erica said that PP was not invited. Apparently, Erica never even ASKED Jessica a thing about the guest list. So, I'm really at a loss to know why she would have told me that. And, I'm really pretty p*ssed about the whole thing, since now I already accepted the invitation and if I bow out, everyone will know why. GRRRR!!

I would love to get your opinion -- what would you do in my place? Go to the wedding or bow out?

Seventy-six. . .

Wow. I kind of thought the scale was at a stand-still. But, this morning, it's down a grand total of 76.4 pounds. I haven't seen this number on my scale since probably 1997. I am now 8.6 pounds away from my aspirational goal. You know. . the one I didn't DARE to set as a goal because I could not imagine there being any possibility of me ever getting there?! That's the one. Wow.

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If it can happen for me, it can happen for you. This is really incredible.

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I am heading to a reunion of my first firm I ever worked at tonight. We started having these annual reunions about 3 years ago. I skipped the first one because of my weight -- just like my 20 year high school reunion. How sad it is to think back on how I felt when I decided not to go to those events, and the underlying reasons. By the second, I was probably about 40 or 50 pounds down and felt good enough to go, and enjoyed catching up with everyone. This year, I will be there for sure. It feels good not to have that weight on me . . literally and figuratively!!

"'Madonna' Just saying the word makes me feel powerful."

The above quote comes from tonight's episode of Glee. It was delivered with deadpan, laugh-inducing humor. But. . I don't even know how I've gone this long without confessing my total admiration, love and. . well, respek for Madge, Madonna, Esther, The Material Girl.

I remember coming across her music in 1984 on Skye TV when I spent the summer in Holland at my mom's house. That was the summer I discovered Borderline and Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, among other '80s gold. Classic. I moved to Saudia Arabia that summer and remember buying a bootleg cassette tape of a mix of her songs at the tape souk in downtown Yanbu, Saudi Arabia. (No worries, I've since paid for all of those songs and more. . . )

In any event, her inimitiable personal style, imminently dancable/sing-along-able music and unabashed confidence has stuck with me ever since. Thank God. And, I've taken plenty of inspiration from Madge's all-empowered, unapologetic attitude through the years. Between that and her omnipresence on my gym mix, I have to give her at least a bit of credit for her hand in getting me toward my goal.

So, thanks, M. You are definitely no. 1 on my list of celebrities I'd like to have lunch with. Just before Jesus, and two above Olivier Martinez. Priorities people. Priorities. (Cut to lightening striking me. . .)

And. . . in other news, guess what bandster gathering I'm planning to attend?? Looking forward to it!!

Having a ball!

This weekend was a lot of fun. On Friday night, I went to see American Idiot on Broadway (musical where all the music is from Green Day's album of that title). It was alright, but I'm not a big Green Day fan, so I was not that in to it. I wouldn't recommend seeing it unless you really like the band and don't mind hearing somewhat Broadway-ified versions of their songs. It's just not rock & roll to me if the singer enunciates too clearly!

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On Saturday night, Marjorie and I went to dinner at the private club where I met C with friends who are members. This is such a cool club, and we had a fantastic time.

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Now I know how it feels to be a kid at Chuck E Cheese!

We had dinner in the dining room there. It was delicious. I had hamachi sashimi to start, followed by gnocci with parmesan, butter and sage. Everything went down just fine, and I even had a few bites of their Nutella pudding for dessert. Yum yum. After that, we went upstairs to the lounge for drinks. At some point, Marjorie and one of our other friends went up another level and came across this completely insane party!

They had filled an entire room with plastic balls and had a really good, high-energy band playing in there. There were all of these very attractive hipster kids hanging out there, some dancing, some lounging on the floor in the ball piles. It was the craziest thing!!

One of our dreamy fellow partiers. . he was tall and had a French accent. . .

The adorable guy above took the following photo of Marjorie and me. I hope you guys will appreciate that this was a huge fashion leap for me to wear that shirt. It is sleeveless and is open in the back. It is a very sexy, very naked shirt! There is no way in this world that I would EVER have worn anything even close to this naked before my band, or even before about 10 pounds ago. But, with 11 months of Boot Camp under my belt, I was really surprised to find that I actually have good definition in my arms and that I really liked how it looked. Major NSV.

I may have to get this shirt surgically attached though, since it seems to have supernatural man magnet powers. I really wish I had a photo of the back to show you. I don't know when I've ever been approached by more attractive, interesting men in one night. Three very cute guys asked me for my phone number, and two were already in touch several times today. I am actually interested in one of them (he is from Texas too and went to my college, so he gets extra points for that), though he lives in DC, and I'm not sure when he'll be in New York next. *Update* It turns out that this guy and I went to high school together and have friends in common. Small world!

I decided not to go out with the other guy who got in touch today -- and my reason may sound a little unusual. I don't know how old he is, but I'm guessing early 30s at the most. He was model good looking (as cute as the guy in the photo above) and seemed nice. But I honestly thought it was weird for someone like him to be hitting on a 39 year old (naked shirt or not) when he would look more at home with a gorgeous 19 year old model. Plus, he sent me a ton of texts today and was trying to get together for brunch, or drinks this week, etc., and I just found him a little weird. He also asked me out for today when I met him last night. Call me a cynic, but I have to assume that someone who looks like that but acts so desperado has something wrong with him. Honestly, I was half wondering if maybe he wanted to rob me or something!

The Fling Has Flung.

Well, after that recent post about my fun day out in Brooklyn with C, I thought I shouldn't leave you all hanging on that front. . . Alas. . am right back where I started before that weekend! Not that this should be a big surprise to anyone, myself included.

I wound up seeing C on Friday night and hanging out with him, his cousin and one of their friends at one of his favorite bars in Brooklyn. I had a really good time, and it was great to see him, as always. I liked his cousin a lot, and thought it was interesting that she told me she was glad to meet me because C never brings girls around. I was surprised by that, but it doesn't change that C isn't looking for anything more serious, exclusive, etc. Ultimately, this is just not what I want, and after six months, this fling needs to be flung so that I can increase my likelihood of finding what I do want.

So. . enough back-sliding on my part. I'm just not cut out to stay in something this long that has zero potential to evolve into something more meaningful. I just realized that it is getting to the point where I like him enough that this state of affairs is going to start making me unhappy, and . . . why would I want to make myself unhappy? Exactly! I wouldn't.

No matter the outcome, I don't regret a second of this. C is a sweetheart of a guy and he did wonders to get me over the breakup with PP. I'll be surprised if we don't wind up staying friends in the long term, but it's time for me to focus my energy elsewhere. So. . . stay tuned. . .

Underground Supper Club . . .

It was a gorgeous weekend here in NYC, and I really enjoyed it. I did way too many things and did not get enough sleep, but it was well worth it. On Saturday, I went to another event held by the supper club group that I like so much and whose events I've been to a few times. (After my Google Alert outing. . I'm a little paranoid about including group and place names, so bear with me. .)

This dinner was inspired by an exhibit at a very cool space -- it's a small gallery, and its metal walls open up to bring the outdoors in a bit, and to invite interaction from passers by. Here is a link to a photo of the gallery that will give you a better sense of what it looks like.

From the inside, looking out.

The exhibit was based on the concept of quarantine, so we had a quarantine-inspired meal. I've never had anything even remotely like this, and thought it was amazing. Really good, interesting food, and an incredibly creative, interesting and even humorous presentation.

The first course was served in a petri dish! It was Steelhead trout roe in a gelee. The "mold" is a powder that tastes of Meyer lemon, which was a nice touch. It definitely looked like something you should NOT eat, but it was absolutely delicious!

The accompanying cocktail. . . effervescent vertical vodka. . was served in a test tube. And, between the strength of the drink and its presentation, it certainly got the conversation going.

The second course was a hirame sashimi, served in a bell jar. The quarantine concept that course represented was "fumigation," so (I think hickory) smoke was injected into each jar, and it imparted a very light flavor to the incredibly fresh fish.

Course 2: "The Fumigation" -- When I opened mine, the smoke wafted out. It was cool and delicious!

The third course, "The Installation," was my favorite. It was a ravioli, accompanied by incredible white and black truffle-infused sauces. And, everything came in hermetically sealed plastic bags. . and we all got our own pair of scissors for the course. It was so much fun to put this together, and the dish was incredibly flavorful and yummy. Another thing I liked about this meal was that all of the courses were relatively small -- and just about everything served was band-friendly.

I'll leave out the fourth (24 day dry aged beef) and fifth (cheese with fruit and bread) courses in the interest of not overburdening you with food porn. . . but I didn't want to leave out the desserts. There were five different items, each based on a different cocktail. Between the hermetically sealed bags of the third course and this tray, this meal was an OCD dream! :)


Each of these desserts is based on a different cocktail. People were especially raving about the one on the top left, which is a tangy ball of lemon curd that represented the daiquiri. My favorite was the one on the bottom left. It was a gooey chocolate truffle that was frozen in liquid nitrogen (we got to watch this before dinner), then coated in cocoa butter. Once the truffle thawed, it was gooey and delicious, but neatly contained in its cocoa butter shell.

Catherine, Jonny and Michael

A friend recently asked me whether being banded took away from my enjoyment of eating out and attending events like this. My view is that it's actually added to my enjoyment, since I get all of the pleasure of trying things without having to feel bad about it later. There is something very nice about having a six course meal like this one, being able to try and enjoy everything, but not feeling overly full at its end. No matter how many decadent things I try, I never eat enough to make a significant difference on the scale the next day. And, not having any residual guilt (e.g. about enjoying a nice meal when I should be sticking to my diet. .) is incredibly freeing and definitely lets me enjoy things like this more than I did in the past.

Goal Gift

My mother and I were talking about what I might do for myself as a goal gift, and I had a realization that really hit home for me. I already have my goal gift. There is no better present that I could have ever given myself than to get to this point. There is not one single thing I could buy that would be worth more to me than actually feeling good about my weight and how my body looks.

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Even though I've been this weight in my adult life, I didn't appreciate it when I was at it at a younger age -- I thought I should be thinner. But now, I am enjoying it.

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So, along with the gift of feeling good, my "goal gift" also includes a host of other things, like (in no particular order):

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- Being able to shop anywhere I like;

- Wearing heels all day long without my feet killing me;

- Looking so much healthier and better;

- Not avoiding old friends because of my weight;

- Being able to RUN because my compartmental syndrome is completely resolved; and

- Being more comfortable on planes, on the subway, etc.

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Maybe I'm a little superficial because all the things I take the most joy in are related to clothes and looking better! :) But, I shouldn't ignore a few more gifts that come along with getting to my ideal BMI range, like:

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- Substantially lowering my risk for heart disease, diabetes, joint pain, and back problems; and

- Increasing my chances of being a healthy person with good energy and mobility when I am older.

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Those two are too important not to mention. I also went back to look at the Pro/Con List I wrote down in my pre-op journal, and realize that every single thing I was looking for has come true (well, other than the thing about not being a fat bride. . but there's still time for that one)! For anyone starting this process, I can't encourage you enough to make a list like this and to keep it and come back to it as you go through the process of getting to goal. It was especially helpful in reinforcing my decision before I had the surgery, but I also have re-read it countless times during the past 15 months, and it has helped to keep me focused on why I am doing this.

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So, I'm not going to buy myself a big giant goal present. . . though I'm certainly going to indulge in more clothing! Turns out that the best present I could give myself wasn't one that I could buy. I wonder why it took me until now to fully realize that!

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it!!!!! I hit my goal this morning!!! As of today, I am down 75.2 pounds! Wow!! I knew that this was technically possible when I started out this process, but it was so hard to imagine it being a reality.

I only have a few minutes to write before work, but I wanted to let you -- and my friend Christina, who lives in Berlin -- know that I finally opened her "goal" present this morning! It's been sitting on my counter for so long, and I've been dying to open it! Here it is -- a gorgeous pair of dangling earrings and an extremely fabulous matching bracelet, accompanied by a really great, and extremely nice, card! I am going to wear the bracelet today as a secret sign to remind myself that today is the day I met my goal.

Here is a comparison shot. . . me in May 2008, before I was banded. I am wearing the same jeans in both photos. . only difference being that I can now get both of my legs into one leg-hole these days! You can't really see just how big the jeans are in this photo (which Yana was nice enough to take for me when she was over last week), so I'm including two more photos of me in my "Jared" pants!

Oh, how I love to play Jared from Subway. . . :)

Another "Jared" shot. . .

And, I really liked the following photo for my seventy-five / goal number shot, because it reminds me of all of the people -- you included -- who have supported me every day through this whole process, with your nice comments, your own stories, and by listening to (or reading) me as I have gone through the last 15 months. That has been a huge source of encouragement, inspiration and motivation for me, and I thank you!

Ten more pounds to go to my aspirational goal! (But I reserve the right to stop before that point if I'm looking too thin. . oh, to have such a problem!!) :)