Rolling Back the Years. . .

I had a great weekend -- my mom was in town, and we had a fantastic time catching up, doing a docent tour of some galleries in Chelsea and enjoying some nice food and wine in Chelsea and the West Village.

Me, in front of some glass flowers by Robert Chihuly at the Marlborough Gallery in Chelsea

Among the many things we did this weekend was to take stock of my closet. Because my mom was having some health problems this summer (she is doing really well now - - thank you to all those of you who have asked -- I really appreciate it!), she had not been up to NYC for a bit. As a result, she hadn't seen the bulk of my new clothes, so I did a little fashion show for her yesterday!

As I was trying on the new things, a dress I've kept for the past 14 years caught my eye. It's a floor-length Betsey Johnson dress that I wore to my law school Barristers Ball with my old boyfriend, Peter, in 1996. (You may remember Peter as the Italian movie-star-type from the recent post where I'm wearing a deep pink dress.) I may not be as young and fresh-faced as I was in 1996, but I'll tell you -- the dress fits even better now! And, much to my surprise (though I surely work out about twice as much as I did then), I think that my arms actually may look better and more toned now than they did 14 years ago. You be the judge. . .

Me, at home, yesterday. Me, with Peter in 1996 at the Barristers' Ball
(post-blow-out and professional makeup ) :)

It would be hard to put into words how good it feels to look like my old self again. I don't take it for granted, and I appreciate things a lot more than I ever did the first time around, and I am a lot more forgiving of my flaws than I would have thought possible. I smile sometimes when I hear my thin friends (who are just beautiful as they are) beat themselves up over a few unwanted pounds or the slightest, most imperceptable bit of jiggle on their legs. If they only knew the secret to getting free from feeling badly about that!! I mean, all they would have to do is gain 80 pounds over a number of years, and then lose it!

Ha ha. . not exactly something anyone would sign on for willingly. But, I will tell you that going through this journey not only has freed me from the "food prison" -- it also has freed me from feeling badly about myself for not having a perfect body, and has let me feel good about what I do have and what I've been able to achieve. I think I am actually stronger and more confident about my appearance as a result of going through this journey. As difficult as it has been, especially during the gaining and pre-band years when I felt so hopeless, I don't regret it because it has taken me to where I am now.

Confessions of a Shopaholic. . .

My best bargain for fall . . a $29 military jacket from H&M

Just kidding about the title! I'm not an out of control shopper, but now that I'm finally at a weight that is either my final weight (152 this morning, size 8 or 10, depending on the cut) or close enough that clothes will still fit if I lose a few pounds, it has been VERY tempting to buy new clothes all the time. It's actually fun to shop and try things on now, which is adding fuel to that fire! ;)

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Still, I actually need clothing. None of my old stuff fits! And, I'm actually a little smaller than my old "thin" size, so even the "thin" pants that I kept from 2000 (Banana Republic size 10) are a bit too baggy to wear these days. I was pretty well stocked up for summer, but now that it's fall and winter is around the corner, I'm finding myself with nothing to wear again!

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During the past few months, I've bought several dresses for work, two suits, some workout clothing, undies and bras, boots, shoes and sweaters. I've also bought a few low-dollar items at H&M (I love that store), like cute tops for going out, some cardigans to help take my work dresses into fall and a military jacket (see photo).

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There are still so many things that I need though. Things like sweaters, pajamas, new sneakers, etc. It's a strange thing to be starting from zero with my wardrobe. Still, it's fun to shop and I'm just trying to buy a reasonable amount at a time. The plus side of all of this is that I really like every single thing I have that is in my current size, and I've gotten rid of 99% of the old stuff (keeping things like my Jared pants, of course!). Good thing I do like everything . . . because I don't have that many choices and wind up wearing the same things over and over!

Saturday Night Shennanagans in Chicago!

At last, I am posting my Saturday night photos from Chicago!! The dinner was a lot of fun -- the organizers arranged for a band-friendly meal in a great space. There were plenty of tables and places to sit down and catch up with people. I did my best to talk to as many people as possible, and felt like I got to know so many great women at this event.

With Nicole in her amazing red dress!
Maria, Tessie Rose, Robin, Miss Vicki, Julie, Amy and Sarah
With Kristen

And Kim
And Julie

And Jennifer

Sarah and Rani, two of my favorite bloggers!

With Gail

Jen, Tessie Rose & Catherine! (Teresa, you look amazing!! I love how the NYC girls are both in black & white.) :)

What an amazing event this was. I had brunch with Jen yesterday, and we had an official post-Chicago download session. It was good to get to talk to her about it. I've told a few non-banded friends about it, but since they don't follow the blogs, I'm not sure I was able to convey the big picture to them that well. This really was such an incredible experience.

Sisterhood Saturday Segue

Sarah - Pretty in Pink!

Bonnie - Beautiful in Blue!!

OK, so after all my galavanting around Chicago on Saturday afternoon, it was time to address the gigantic box that MLM sent to me at the hotel. So, I did a few things. First, obviously, I put on some good music. Second, I called up Sarah and Stephanie, and asked them to come up (and Sarah brought up some lovely wine, God bless her). Then, we called a few other bandsters who were in need of the sizes at hand, and dolled out MLM's clothing as she had asked us to do! It was a win-win situation, as you'll see from these photos (how perfect are these suits on Bonnie?!)!!

Stephanie - Great in green!!

I want to give major props to MLM for taking the time, effort, and expense to send a big box of clothing to Chicago to her Sisters in Band Land. It would only have been better if we'd had the pleasure of her company when we were going through that considerable box of excellent clothing! :) Thank you so much for being such a sister to your fellow bandsters. It is exactly this spirit of generosity that makes our community so strong, so supportive, and so awesome. This is one of the important things that helps each of us move forward with grace, comfort and confidence, and I have such an incredible amount of admiration and respect for each and every one of you who has helped someone else on their journey in this way. xoxoxo

Daytime Saturday in Chicago

The weekend was packed with so many things, and so much fun, that I thought I'd break Saturday down into two posts! Somehow, even after Friday night's fun, I made it up and out in time to get my hair blown out and my eyebrows done at 9:30. Afterwards, I had about an hour to spare, so I walked to brunch down The Miracle Mile -- a great street of shopping! I made a few detours. . most notably, to Saks, but I came out unscathed!

Millennium Park - Chicago

This sculpture is called "The Cloud Gate" and is by British artist Anish Kapoor

Brunch was great -- I met up with Jen from NY, Alexis, Angie and Nicole at a restaurant called Gage, which was right by Millennium Park. We talked our heads off, downloading about the night before, and comparing PB and band tightness stories! How often do you get together with five people where you get to do this?! LOL

Afterwards, Beth met up with us, and we all headed to Millennium Park and took in the sights.

This is me (and my reflection), doing a back bend on the inside of The Cloud Gate (which we kept calling "The Bean". . it does kind of look like the Elsa Peretti Bean!)

Jumping Pics!

Hilarious!! I love this one of Jen and Angie!

Catherine, Jen, Nicole, Angie, Alexis and Beth

at The Crowne Fountain, designed by Spanish artist Jaume Plensa

I love that it spits water out. . :)

After that, Alexis and I split off from the group and walked around before we joined a ton of other bandsters (including Maria, Rani, Sarah, Gail, Stephanie, Robin, Kristen R, Sandy and many more) for the Chicago Architectural Tour, which was conducted on a boat. It was a really interesting tour -- Chicago has so many amazing buildings, but I will admit that, by the end, we were FREEZING cold!!!

Taking a photo = ruse for generating body warmth by Sarah, Catherine, Rani, Alexis and Gail!

Alexis and Gail

I love the way the Chicago sign looks in this one.

After brunch, Alexis and I did some more shopping along the Millenium Mile before heading back to the hotel. It was great to get to spend some time with her and get to know her better! I was really glad that I broke up the day into so many different activities, since I felt like I got some one-on-one time with everyone who I hung out with, and that was one of my favorite things about the trip!

Once I got back to the hotel, I had a few girls over for a Sisterhood exchange, but will save that post -- and the accompanying photos -- for later!

Friday Night in Chicago!

When I got in on Friday night, the party was already underway on the sixth floor of the hotel. I was a little bit nervous as I walked over to the rooms! And, when I walked in to the first one, it was just insane -- totally overwhelming and massively sensory-overloading! Some of the first people I saw were Joey, Stephanie, Gilly, Kagead and Drazil.

The second room was packed to the gills with bandsters! It was so insane to walk in and immediately spot so many people who I knew from the blogs, including Sarah, Rani, Jackie, Lara, Gen, Tess, and many more! From there, we moved to a conference room on the 4th floor, and eventually out on the town. Some of us went dancing, and others went to a wine bar.

Here are some photos from the night! I'll post Saturday photos next time. :)

With Gilly!

And Sherri

Rani, Catherine and Stephanie

The Godmothas of Band Land

Sarah, Angie, Amy and me!

Barbara from PA

Bonnie

Post-party drinks at the Fairmont with Beth, Angie, Nicole, Jen and Catherine

Shout Out to The Dash from Chicago!

I took a ton of photos over the weekend, and this is among my favorites! We were all wishing that Cara, a.k.a. The Dash (or as I secretly refer to her sometimes. . Dashy von Dashenstein) :) could have come over from Australia to be with us in Chicago. I've been following her blog since before she had her surgery in May 2009, and just plain old love her! So, Cara -- this photo is for you.

Catherine, Angie, Cara, Sarah, Rani, Amy and Jen

Here is a larger version of the BBerry in the photo. (It may be hard to tell, but that is a photo of Cara we have up on the screen so that she could be in the picture with us.) :)

3,435 More Reasons to Love the Bandster Blogosphere

The Band of Outrageous Babes!
(LOL - Gilly!! I just noticed what you are doing!)

Chicago was incredible. I felt like I was having a dream in which fifty of my favorite bloggers came to life! It was so intense and more than a little surreal! It was amazing to meet everyone. Everyone, without exception, was just like I thought they would be from their blogs. We laughed our heads off, talked up a storm, and cried and hugged a whole lot too!

I loved this trip. It was a really special, unique thing to have so many of us all together. I've never had another experience quite like it. The organizers did a phenominal job of putting everything together, and it was just absolutely mind-boggling to get to meet everyone all at once. Major sensory overload!! Still, I do feel like I got in some one on one time with just about everyone, which was so nice.


I met a lot of bandsters who told me that mine was the first blog that they had ever read, and some who said that reading my blog helped them make their decision to get banded. It was very moving and meaningful to me to hear that. (Cut to the tears and hugging!) I love it that something I did could help other people -- in this case, friends who I had not yet met, but who would come to be an instrumental part of keeping me on the right path with my band and giving me an incredible amount of support. Every person who I helped has helped me, too. Without all of the encouragement and support I've received from all of the amazing bandsters in our on-line community, I do not think I would have been as successful with my band, and I know for sure that this whole process would not have been, and continue to be, so much fun and so rewarding without you.

At our dinner on Saturday night, Sarah had everyone write down how many pounds they had lost on the Bandster Cheat Sheet I put together with everyone's photo, name and blog name on it. She then added it all up. Be prepared to be blown away! (Um. . video didn't post right. . working to fix this now!)

The Gilly-fied BYOC

In honor of the upcoming Chicago trip, I thought I'd answer the quiz that Gilly posted on the group's blog. . .

1. You're trapped on a desert island and can only bring three of your favorite foods along. What do you bring?

Eggs, cheese and oranges (b/c I don't want scurrrrvy!). I'm assuming I'll get all Robinson Crusoe and rig up something to let me catch fresh fish. :)

2. If you could meet any three people, living or dead, who would they be and why?

1. Madonna, because I think she's incredible.

2. My great-grandmother, Margaret, since my parents and aunts and uncles all loved her so much and I only knew her when I was a small child. I'd love to spend some time with her as an adult. She was supposed to be a LOT of fun and just a great person. I can only imagine the great conversations we would have and getting to hang out with her.

3. Jesus, because I think it would be really interesting to see what he was like in person.

3. What is your stripper name? (Take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on)

Charlie Palmer. . Hmmm. . . that is not sexy, but it does make me want to eat a steak!

4. What is your LEAST favorite part of your body since losing weight? Your MOST favorite since losing weight?

I love all the parts more now than before. . so I don't want to diss any of them by calling them my least favorite. That said, the parts I'm working to improve the most right now are my thighs. My favorite body part is my head! That hasn't changed at all. :) However, I have a new love for my previously-hated bootie. Oh, bootie, I never knew it could be like this for us! LOL

5. Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a house that is supposedly haunted?

No. OK, maybe. OK, it depends on how recently I've seen a scary movie. . . :) Let's just say that I don't NOT believe in them enough that I would get anywhere near that haunted house after nightfall!! I've seen enough scary movies to know that's always a mistake!

6. What is your natural hair color? If you dye it something completely different from what your momma gave ya, how come?

It's dark blonde/light brown. Actually, my current color is pretty much my natural color. . if I wasn't about 1/3 gray at this point!

7. Boxers or briefs? Alternatively. . bikinis or granny panties?

Either for guys. Bikinis, low-rise hipsters and teeny boy shorts for me. I do not buy ugly undies as a rule, and there are no granny panties in my house! Favorite brands are B.Tempt'd (great line from Wacoal), Chantelle, Hanky Panky, Honeydew and On Gossamer.

8. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

That is a tough one!! It's a toss up between Overboard, Irreconcilable Differences, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Way We Were ("Hubbel!!").

9. What is your guilty pleasure?

Gossip Girl. Love that show! Plus, New York Magazine's Gossip Girl Reality Index is hilarious and a great guilty pleasure companion. (Seriously, if you watch the show and haven't read it, click that link -- it's hilarious.)

10. How many pounds gone forever are you celebrating?

Seventy-nine, but let's round that up!

Um, is it bad that I'm not posting . . .

Because I don't want to put up pictures of any new outfits that I might wear in Chicago?! :) OK, will just refrain from putting up any personal photos today! (I'm still building the new wardrobe. . there are not infinite choices yet!) :)

I thought this was a great message. Even if it should say "yesterday has gone". . . :)

In addition to the dreamy dermatologist, I also had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Ren last week. I seriously thought about cancelling it, since I didn't need a fill, but by the time I got it together to actually call, it was too late to cancel. So, I wound up going.

Every time I'm in that office, I wonder if someone who knows me through the blog is in the waiting room, but so far, no one has ever said anything. I totally sported my new hot pink DVF sheath dress (photo in recent post). I figured that if I had to go to the appointment, I might as well represent! Hee hee :)

Maybe I'm overly emotional, but every time I get to Dr. Ren's office, I feel like I just want to burst into tears -- tears of happiness, relief and gratitude. I suppose that being in that waiting room really drives home for me how far I've come with my band, and reminds me of all the many steps along the way. So I totally rein it in, but when I was talking to Dr. Ren, I wound up getting all teary-eyed. She was really happy with my progress and glad that I'm having a relatively easy time of maintenance. She even asked me if I'd gone public about my surgery, since they get a lot of media requests. As fun as that sounds, I don't want to do it -- I like my privacy too much.

Anyway, I started telling her how good I feel, how much I'm enjoying life, and how much better my quality of life is now that I'm comfortable all of the time and have been able to let go of the self-loathing I felt about my weight. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for everything she has done to help me along in this process and told her how grateful I am to have found this tool and to have found a way to get my self (that girl I used to see in the mirror) back.

I sent a note to the same effect to Dr. Rumbaut and his team (he is my surgeon in Monterrey, Mexico) recently. I've been so happy with the job they did. I have only two incisions, the scars have healed very nicely (one is pretty hard to see, the other is faded but not invisible), and they placed my port in a great spot. You still can't see it, even though I'm at goal.

As for my aspirational goal of 145, I'm not sure I'm going to get there. My weight likes to hover around 153, even with all the workouts I am doing. But that's completely fine with me. I don't feel compelled to lose more, though I'd be psyched to get off another 5 pounds. We'll see how it goes . . :)

Really Exited about Chicago!

Sunset in Brooklyn on Saturday

Only time for a short post this morning! I just wanted to say how much I'm looking forward to finally meeting all of you who are going to Chicago! I've been debating what to wear. . . and hoping the scab on my cheek from my dermatologist appointment will heal before then!

Thinking About Health. . .

Now that I've gotten to a place where I actually feel good about my body and fitness level, it dawned on me that I shouldn't take my good health for granted. During the last few months, there have been a number of things that reminded me of this. First, my mom's health scare (she is fine now, thank God), second, finding out that Jacqui from LapBandTalk (whose posts I always love) is undergoing treatment for colon cancer, third, the recent death of one of my law partners due to melanoma, fourth, watching that great new Showtime series "The Big C" (Laura Linney's character is dying from Stage 4 melanoma), and fifth, seeing my best friend lose her sister-in-law and dear friend to cancer when she was only in her mid-30s.

So. . .what did this make me do? Well. . since I'm Little Miss Sun-Lover who has lived (and tanned. .) in places like Texas, Saudi Arabia and the Bahamas, I finally. . for the first time ever, FINALLY made an appointment with a dermatologist to get the full-on skin inspection. I went to that appointment today. I'd like to thank my band for letting me get to a weight where I was not too humiliated to let every inch of my body be inspected under, literally, a magnifying glass. . .

Oh! And did I mention that my doctor is VERY CUTE?? And really funny and charming?! Why yes. Yes, indeed. Nothing like having to meet a guy you wouldn't mind dating when you're starkers, aside from a paper gown that he keeps moving off of various parts of your anatomy . . . Seriously, at one point, I was basically naked from the waist up, trying to act nonplussed while he examined a mole on my right breast . . . um. Hi. Difficult!!!

Not my doctor, but this will give you a good visual for the story. . .

While I'm at it, I may as well disclose that my doctor was a little flirty. . and that my friend who referred me to him had been thinking of trying to set me up with him. He was actually really adorable and we had a nice conversation. At one point, I asked if the shot he was going to give me would hurt and he reached over and pinched my arm (me: "OUCH!!") and said "It will hurt about that much." Anyway, cuteness aside, I'm really glad I went. It turns out that I have pre-cancer cells on my right cheekbone, which he has now frozen off. I also had two worrisome moles that he cut off and is going to biopsy. Fingers crossed that all is well.

In other health news, I'm FINALLY going to go in for my first-ever mamogram before my birthday. I know . . I know. . I should have done this already. Well, I'm going to do it now. I just feel like I owe it to myself to identify any potential problems now and to take good care of my body in a global sense -- not just with respect to weight and fitness. OK. . OK. . I'll make a dentist appointment too!

Grateful

A post that Sarah made last week really got me thinking. I find myself at different times -- and on a pretty regular basis -- being struck by how grateful I feel to have gotten my weight under control. It kind of blows me away.

I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for The Cure yesterday, here in Central Park. This is my third time to participate, and my second time to actually RUN the race. I posted about this last year, but when I was at my highest weight, I actually physically was unable to run for more than about 15 minutes because I had something called "compartmental syndrome" (click on the link to last year's post if you're curious).

This year, I'm nearly 80 pounds down, and am about 20 pounds lighter than I was when I ran last year. I've been working out consistently through the whole year, and running 5K was a breeze. After I hit mile 3, I upped my speed for a strong finish and was thinking about how far I've come during the past two years, how much improved my health and appearance are, and how just plain good I feel all of the time. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying tears of joy.

Me, just after I crossed the finish line!

This was my FB Profile Pic yesterday. If you told me three years ago that this would be me, I doubt I would have believed you!

Different things happen all of the time to bring that feeling of gratefulness to the forefront of my mind. Before the race, I had that feeling in my spin class during that same week. The instructor yelled out some move for "advanced cyclists," and I was like "Wow. That means me." I've gone from being someone who probably would have been too embarrassed to go to that super cool spin studio all by myself, and now I'm one of the fit girls in there in my obnoxiously cute Lululemon outfit! If I wasn't actually living this, it would be so hard for me to believe that this kind of transformation would have been possible. So, I'm grateful. Seriously, seriously overwhelmingly grateful.

Beyond My Wildest Dreams!!!

People. PEOPLE!!! Something insane has happened!!! Something that I NEVER thought could ever, possibly happen has happened. I saw a photo of my bootie and did not cringe in shame! Actually, I think it's a kind of cute photo. And, the biggest shocker, is that I've had TWO photos taken of this view recently and I am at peace with both. OK, so I'm in no danger of being recruited for one of those commercials for the new Reebok butt-sculpting shoes, but who cares?!

Me, my bootie and my adorable nephew at the U.S. Open last weekend!

You see, I've gone through my entire teen and adult life thinking my butt was horrible -- too big, not shapely, etc. My family, frankly, did wonders toward reinforcing my bad feelings about this, among other things. . . but this blog is not about blame-casting. Suffice it to say that, for my entire life up to -- possibly now -- if Sir Mixalot came through on the speakers, I was hiding my gadunkadunk on a chair!

Anyway, after more than a year of boot camp, yoga and a few months of spin, honestly, the ole bootie is looking pretty darned good. Who knew that I'd have to get to nearly 40 years old to get a butt that I actually like?!? Heck . . I never thought it would be possible to be happy with that particular feature, so I'm shocked to get to it at any age. Anyway, I knew you guys would be among the very few who would understand my feelings on this. Crazy, unexpected NSV!!

With my friend Angelina at her birthday party 2 weeks ago. I thought this photo was a fluke!