The dining room at Artisanal
We had dinner at Artisanal, which is a restaurant here that I really love which specializes in amazing cheeses. I will say that this is the first time I've felt a bit conspicuous dining out with the band. Before we sat down, he asked me what my position was on the fondue (they have an outrageous fondue, but it's only for 2 or more people). After the tasting menu this weekend, I just was not in the market for a calorie-laden dinner, so I told him that I love the fondue, but was trying to be good. So, I'm guessing he may have been disappointed.Sorry, Date! No fondue for you-oo!
Then, we talked about what we were going to order, and he was having a starter and an entree. I know from experience that there is no way I can do both at this restaurant. So, I (kind of jokingly & definitely nicely) said that I know it's presumptious on a first date, but that I wasn't super hungry and would love to share the beet and goat cheese salad he picked if he was up for it. So, we did that, and I ordered the tile fish.Only thing is. . . I couldn't finish my 1/2 portion of the salad, and I barely made a dent in the tile fish. I feel like I was making a lot of excuses for not eating more, and that he thought I might have an eating disorder or something. I guess the salad-sharing thing called attention to it, and then me not eating that much made it worse. He also seemed disappointed that I didn't want to get dessert or a cheese plate. I encouraged him to go for it (seriously guy, go for it! Just don't drag me down with you!), but he didn't.
Anyway, all in all, not the best date ever. I felt really self-conscious about the whole food thing (thank God I didn't get stuck on top of it all), wasn't particularly interested in him, and was just really happy to be able to go home when it was over!
Funny thing . . when I was out with the chef from the other weekend, this was a non-issue. I just ate what I wanted and it was no big deal -- and it's not like my band was tighter tonight. It's more that this guy was putting on a little pressure to overeat/make bad choices, and I didn't know him well enough to be honest with him.
The learning curve continues! :) Still, I am glad that got out there and went on a date and that I stuck with what I wanted to eat and did not give in to pressure!
10 comments:
It sounds like the lack of chemistry was really a problem in this instance, if he was the kind of guy for you, you wouldn't have felt pressure from him. Definately toss him back, there are more fish in the sea!!
Good on you for having the confidence not to feel pressured to eat or choose something you don't want!
I have been reading your blog for a while and you are such an inspiration.
VIIIIIICCCTTTOOOOOORRRRRRRYYYYYY!
I can see how the whole dating thing might be a bit tricky - like they might think you're a girl that just doesn't want to eat.
You know it's weird but I was thinking this very same thing this morning... what do you girls do when the relationship gets to 'that' level.. past the food and how ever many dates it take to progress to the next step... ok, I'm talking about the bed thing! What do you say about the marks on your tummy? Non issue for us married folks lol but for you singles, was just curious.
I went on many dates from online before I remarried. Maybe you are just being too hard on yourself. Seems most guys almost expect a lady to order/eat light. If you think there may be a chance with this guy, suggest a non food date next time. :)
Dash -- there are a whole stock of excuses if a girl wants to use them. . hernia operation, appendix, etc. I figure I'll just say it's from "surgery" and try to leave it at that when the time comes!
Catherine
Catherine, have you already mined your past for potential dates? I mean going back through guys you were attracted to in high school, college, law school? Maybe I already suggested this....As you may know, I am married to my high school buddy, so I can highly recommend the benefits of the "shared past" thing.
Anyway, good for you getting out there, and dealing well with the pressure.
Ugh...I remember dating and was like that on dates too and that was while I was big and not banded!
If there is no chemistry than leave it alone :)
The restaurant sounds great though!!
Did we go on the same date last night C? Well it would have been more fun if we had been together. The guy picked me up, and nearly insisted we go to a Pizza place. PIZZA. WITH THE BAND. I managed to choke down a slice without getting stuck, he was perfectly nice, but no spark... bah!
xox
First and foremost, I don't envy you that are dating, much less eating out with the band. It's good that you recognize real quickly that there was no chemistry with that one. The RIGHT one will come along - maybe even equipped with a lap band! LOL
Yay for you for not overdoing it because you felt pressured.
Sorry the date wasn't fab, there are always other fabulous men waiting in the wings. However, I LOVE artisanal, though I haven't eaten there post-band.
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