Chicago, Chicago!

I have to admit it . . I am getting really excited about the B.O.O.B.S. conference and meeting so many of my favorite blogging bandsters! I love it that we have such a great group of organized people planning the trip and am really looking forward to all of the events. I even sent in my $80 yesterday (I'm such a brown noser. . ). :D

OK, so this theater is in NYC. . whatevs!

One thing I've been doing is putting together a "cheat sheet" of everyone who is going. It's just a simple sheet with everyone's picture, first name, city (or state or country), and blog title. I started doing this for myself, just so I could keep everyone straight, but then I realized that it might be helpful for everyone to have it. I'm going to e-mail it to the organizers when it's ready. That said, if you're going to be in Chicago for the conference and have a face shot that you want me to use for you, just e-mail it to me at chroniclesfrombandland [at] gmail.com (put your first name and blog in the subject line please). Otherwise, I'll just pick the best recent photo that I see on your blog.

-

Anyway, I just wanted to give a big shout out to the lovely and talented organizers, Jennifer, Amy, Joey, Drazil, Grace, Band-Babe, Deborah, Stephanie and Linda. You girls are amazing, and I am so glad that you are putting this together. The t-shirts are incredibly cute, too! Joey, you are seriously talented!! And, it made my day to visit the B.O.O.B.S. site and see that I was a featured blogger the other day! I really appreciated all of the nice comments, and it makes me so happy (and totally choked up) every time I hear that this blog helped one of my sisters in band land.

-

I also can't believe how far the Sisterhood has expanded, and I wish I had some things left to bring to Chicago! It did not occur to me when I sent all of my outgrown (in-grown? LOL) sizes to bandsters across the country that this would become a part of our bandster blogosphere culture, or just how generous all the amazing people in our community would be with one another. I've seen a few of my clothes go to 3 or 4 bandsters, which I love. It's incredible, and it also cracks me up that you all know my dirty little secret of cutting the sizes out of my clothes! (I don't do that anymore, funny enough. .) :) I wish we all would have started by sewing tags with our names inside so that we could see the legacy of bandster success stories who had each item before us. We all are a part of this sisterhood, and I hope this tradition of sharing continues long after we all reach our goals and our final sizes.

Fun Week. . . And It's Only Wednesday!

This is shaping up to be a really fun week! I wound up making a lot of plans and have really been enjoying them.

At the rooftop bar at 60 Thomson (a hotel in Soho) last night, wearing my new DVF dress!

On Sunday, I went to my spinning class in the morning, then made this really delicious (!) recipe for pulled pork tacos that requires the pork to be slowly cooked at 300 degrees for 5 1/2 hours. It is so tender and delicious! It did, however, make a TON of food, so I portioned much of it out into Ziplock bags and froze it. (This recipe freezes really well.)

Partly because I made so much food (and partly because I just wanted to see him), I invited C over for dinner on Monday night. I made fresh guacamole, a salad that was just sliced jicama with this spicy honey lime dressing, bought two kinds of very fresh salsa -- one tomato, one pineapple with jicama -- from Whole Foods, and some blue corn chips, and we had a little feast. Everything worked just fine with the band (I just ate one taco, a little guacamole and some jicama). And, of course, it was nice to spend some time with C.

Last night, I met up with Peter, who is one of my very best friends, and who I dated on and off for about 5 years from 1995-2001, starting when we were in law school together. Peter is a great guy and, after all those years, we just really understand one another, so it's always nice to talk with him. (Don't get excited people, he's in a serious relationship with a very nice girl!) :)

With Peter at 60 Thomson

This picture doesn't even do Peter justice. He showed up looking as tan, fit and handsome as I've ever seen him -- honestly, he looked like an Italian movie star. So, between that and my new DVF dress (not to mention the new body. .LOL), we were feeling pretty good! The rooftop bar at this hotel is restricted to guests and members, but not only were we able to (with some effort and a very cute "Please?" on Peter's part) talk our way in, they also gave us the best table, with the best view! So, not only did I have the fun of catching up with my dear friend, I got to do it in snobby Soho style. NICE! :)

The rest of the week should be good, too! I have dinner with another good friend tonight, spin on Thursday, a birthday dinner on Friday for another friend, and am catching up with an old boyfriend who will be in town on Saturday. Am looking forward to all of it!

The Joy of Shopping (and thoughts on maintenance)

I had brunch today in the Meat Packing District, then walked around with a friend, going in and out of a few shops. One of our stops was the Diane von Furstenberg store. I've wanted a dress from there for years, but they never fit before. After I got banded, I passed that store one day and promised myself that I would buy myself a DVF dress when I got to goal. Guess what? That happened today.

I don't have a photo of the dress, but it's great -- it's a sheath dress in "deep geranium" (almost a fuschia). It fits perfectly and will be great to wear to work. I'll post a photo when I wear it. Wait!! I just realized that it's nearly a dead ringer for the Joan Holloway dress I posted recently!

One thing that I've been wanting to write about is maintenance. I hit my goal of 155 pounds on April 5th, which is already four months ago. Wow -- time has flown by! I still consider 145 to be my aspirational goal, but am OK with staying where I am. I haven't lost any weight now for over a month, but that is fine (I am at 151 right now).

So far, maintenance is actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm at the point where it is harder for me to lose, so there is no risk of me getting too thin. My band is open enough that I can eat comfortably, but not so open that I can overeat. I actually love being at this level because when my band is tighter, I actually don't make as good of food choices, since it's harder to eat most kinds of protein. I don't do anything too much differently from what I did as I was losing, it's just that now my calorie intake is in line with what I need to maintain this particular weight.

My secret Maintenance weapon! The bathroom scale . . .

The most important thing I do to keep myself in check is to just get on the scale every morning. It's such an easy, simple thing to do. Every morning, I hop on the scale and see where I am, weight-wise. That tells me how mindful I need to be that day about following the bandster rules and making good food and exercise choices. Also, because I look at the scale every day, there is no way several pounds are going to creep up on me without me knowing about it. This is such a ridiculously simple thing to do, especially given how incredibly helpful it is to keep me focused. It's not hard anymore to make the right food choices, and I actually really like the way working out makes me feel and how it's changed my body -- and that provides a really good incentive for me to keep working out.

This simple act of getting on the scale every day is a HUGE departure from my behavior pre-band. I used to avoid the scale like the plague. Then, when I finally decided to weigh myself, I'd have to psych myself up to it for a few days. Eventually, I'd cringe (with my eyes half-squeezed shut), get on the scale and look at the (always higher) number. Then I'd feel terrible about myself, my weight, and how fat I'd let myself get. Sometimes I'd diet for a while, but I'd always find myself back at square one a few months later. Well, that phase is over now, thank God.

I'm also really surprised to still be getting so much joy over feeling good about my weight and body. It is just so nice to be able to walk around comfortably in the heat of summer, to go into stores and have them actually have my size, and to like what I see in the mirror.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't realize a long time ago how good all of this would feel. Maybe if I'd known, I could have broken the weight gain cycle before it got too out of hand. At the same time though, I realize that it's only because I let things get so bad -- because I hit my personal rock bottom -- that I am able to really appreciate how good I have it now. I expect that if I hadn't experienced this whole journey that I'd probably look at myself and focus on my imperfections, instead of just feeling really happy and grateful to have come as far as I have. So, I'm grateful to have experienced all of this because I really like where I am right now.

Ahhhh! Amagansett!

Driving back from the beach in an open-topped jeep -- fun!

In keeping with this summer's trend, I went out of town last weekend. This time, I headed to the Hamptons -- to the town of Amagansett -- with my friend Hayley, who has a summer share out there. I really see a difference in how much I enjoy summer, the beach and hot weather with 79 pounds less on my frame. Actually, I enjoy it more than I did when I weighed this exact same weight in my 20s and thought I was too heavy (oh, foolish younger me. . .)!

Here is our house. . . beautiful inside and out!

The other people in the house were really nice, except for one person who I didn't really like. Here is a photo of me, with Hayley (in the middle), and E, who was staying in the house with her boyfriend, D.

Have you guys noticed that people say things about fat people in front of you now? Well, D is one of those people. He made a few comments through the weekend, primarily about how he thought that Ali, the current bachelorette is too fat. He later qualified that (after we all yelled at him) by saying that she is too "flabby" for national TV. Meanwhile, I think she's adorable. . and isn't she like 135 pounds on a 5'8 frame?! WTH?! Another time, he turned to an ad for plus-sized lingerie in a gossip magazine and was like "What is THAT??" His girlfriend told him "It's lingerie that comes in bigger sizes." . . and he said "Oh, underwear for Ali!" What a total jacka$$.
-

I suppose that I could take from this that this idiot has no clue that I've had a serious struggle with my weight . . . in addition to the fact that he's a complete moron and jacka$$ (but then again, that would mean he was sensitive enough to consider my feelings before he spoke. . . hmmm. . . doubtful). I was lying on the beach with him, E and Hayley in my bikini all day Saturday. That was actually after the first round of Ali comments, and honestly, I didn't feel self-conscious around him at all. When I was younger, those comments probably would have had me wearing shorts and a one-piece all day long at the beach. But now, I feel great, and I'm not going to let some imperfect jerk take that away from me. So nyah!! :P

There was a sandcastle competition at the beach when we were there. . so many great entries! This was my favorite -- a school of dolphins, sharks and killer whales. . made by a group of very cute guys! What could be better? :)

Already looking foward to Halloween!

One of the things I've really been looking forward to about being thinner is getting to wear a cute, sexy outfit for Halloween! Last year, I was ready to do that, but I had a friend in town visiting over Halloween with her 13 month old, so going to a party was not in the cards. This year, however, it is!

I love the show Mad Men and think I'm going to go as Joan Holloway. Here is a photo of her. I have a great 1960s style emerald green dress that should be perfect, and just ordered a pencil necklace from Etsy.com. Now, all I need is a red wig (any suggestions for where I can get one that's already styled appropriately??), some fake eyelashes, and some seamed stockings! Fun!

Maine Stay

Nothing says summer like flip-flopped feeties!

I went to York, Maine last weekend with three friends (Marjorie, Monica and Laurie). This was my first trip to Maine, and I was in awe of how beautiful it is there!! It was a long drive up from the city (over 6 hours there. . ) but we spent the whole time talking and laughing, so it went by quickly. We really had a great weekend, though our time there was too short. I don't have time to do a lengthy post today, but I did want to share some of my photos with you. Here goes . . .

View from my room if I didn't bother to get out of bed! I could hear the ocean in the room!

View if I walked three steps to the window!

Adorable Maine house with buoys on the porch

The picturesque York lighthouse

Here we all are, hanging out on the rocks across from the lighthouse
(which is where we took the flip-flop feet photo) I love how this viewfinder photo turned out!

After a day at the beach on Saturday, we came back to the hotel, popped open a bottle of champagne, and enjoyed it while sitting out on the lawn overlooking the ocean. Some of us covered up to avoid the sun. . .

And some of us did not!
No stress here!

And, this pretty much sums it all up . . . :)

Coming Out!

Don't get excited. . . this isn't as exciting a revelation as Amy recently made! :) But I did finally tell C about my band. Leaving aside the issue that I'm the only person I know who can turn a rebound fling into a nine month affair. . . I wanted to tell you about how it went. You might remember that I had wanted to tell him for a long time. In fact, back in December, I wrote a post about this. One of the things I wrote about was what my concerns were about telling -- and since that hasn't changed, I'm going to recap that here:

Part of my fear in telling a guy about the surgery is that his perception of me will change. I think that's a legitimate concern. Part of that is that I don't want the person to suddenly look at me through some kind of "fat goggles" and suddenly find me as being less attractive. Another part of that is that I don't want the person judging me based on my inability to control my weight without the band. I'd hope that anyone I'd be serious aabout would view this as a positive though -- that I find a way to fix serious problems when I have them, and that I'm not afraid to make big changes or take calculated, well-researched risks when I need to do so to improve the quality of my life.

Telling C was interesting. We'd been having a serious talk about things going on in his life, and I decided that it was a good time for me to share this information about myself. He reacted in a really normal way. It turns out that he knew all about lap band surgery, since a friend's husband is a surgeon in the field, and he didn't seem shocked or to have any negative reaction at all. He just said that he was glad that it had worked for me and that I was happy that I'd done it. I told him that I'd been really curious about what his reaction would be and asked him if knowing about the band made him think of me differently -- he said that it didn't.

I also told him that I was surprised that he'd never asked me about my big scar, and asked if he'd ever noticed that I had a lump (i.e., my port) above it. He'd noticed the lump, but never thought to ask about either. Funny, right? I mean, here I am sweating it out that someone is going to freak out if they notice the port, and he noticed it and didn't even think to say anything about it!

I shared all of this with my friend Christina (my friend who lives in Berlin and gave me the beautiful bracelet and earrings as a goal present), and she made a really great observation that I want to share with you. This is what she said, and I think it's a great way for all of us to think about band surgery and to help others to think about it as well:

If your eyes are weak, you get glasses or lenses. If your teeth are not straight, you get braces. And, if you have [serious] problems with portion control, you get a band. And if a person takes the risk of the operation, then the pressure/annoyance/suffering they felt [because of their weight] must have been pretty strong. So, it is a good thing [for that person to] walk down the road of getting banded.

Comparison Shot. . . 21 Months Post-Band

This compilation turned out pretty tiny! But. . if you click on it, it gets frighteningly big! I have to get another full-length photo of myself in jeans and a black top so that I can do a proper comparison. BTW, I wrote size 8 on my current photo. . but that dress is a 10. I was going by Gap jeans sizes (which I used in the other photos), not the actual size of that dress. :)

I logged on today planning to do a post for new bandsters. . . about something I wish I would have done before my surgery or even shortly afterwards. I really wish that I would have taken more before photos (instead of cropping the heck out of everything for years) and that I would have taken one photo of myself in the same spot, in a similar outfit, every month from start to present. I would really like to be able to see (and post) a flip-book-type montage of those photos to see how much I've really changed. I saw one that another bandster did once, and it was incredible. She actually GREW TALLER (!) as the weight came off her frame! It was amazing and inspiring.

So. . if you're just starting out, consider doing this! Also, do yourself a favor and take lots of before photos and make a chart with your measurements on it. I say that all the time (mostly on Lap Band Talk) because that's the best advice I can give you at the outset. It's really nice to be able to calm yourself during a plateau (especially the plateau that happens when you start exercising in earnest) by seeing that the inches are coming off. So, that's my PSA for the day! :)

Summer Vlog

I thought it was high time for me to do another vlog! Here goes. . .

And, here is a photo showing the new dress I was wearing when I recorded the vlog. It's so much trendier, shorter, more bare-armed and more colorful than anything I would have dared to wear pre-band!

Ch-ch-changes!

I mentioned in my last post that my scale had bounced up four pounds (now three) in the last two weeks. I'm not being crazy about weight or anything -- I'm still thrilled to be (just) under my goal weight. But, I can actually see the difference that four pounds and two weeks with no gym makes for my body. At this weight, four pounds is a lot different than it was when I started! It's not that big of a difference, but I do see it. And this isn't the "change" I had in mind when I titled this post!

-

The change is this. . . in the past, that four pounds would have been fourteen before I even got on the scale to notice it. But now, I'm nipping that gain in the bud, before it has a chance to become anything more. Before I was banded, I used to be so afraid to get on the scale. I'd avoid it for weeks -- even months, then feel terrible to see how much I'd gained. Now I'm on that sucker once a day. First thing in the morning (post-loo, pre-shower), I do a little check in on it to see how I'm doing. Keeping aware of and on top of my weight is one of the most important things for me to do during this maintenance phase. It's such a simple, easy thing to do.

-

I also signed up for a spin class tonight, another one on Sunday, and will hit yoga on Saturday. That should do the trick! :) I wonder why this wasn't as easy for the old me as it seems to be now. I have to believe it has a lot to do with the band and all the changes it has helped me make!

Mom Update & Fun on Fire Island

Wow -- the last week or so has gone by so quickly. I was out in Florida the weekend before last to see my mother and make sure she was OK. Long story short, she still has to have a procedure, but she is doing well and feeling good. I was glad that I was able to go out there to see her. She was actually released from the hospital on Saturday, so we were able to spend time together. In fact, she was doing so well that we thought she would go back to work on Tuesday, and I called my brother and told him not to come down on Sunday after all.

During the weekend, I helped my mom around the house, but then on Monday morning, I wound up having to take her to the Emergency Room because she was having chest pains/discomfort. That was really stressful, and I was very worried. Her heart rate was very low, but she seemed OK. The worst part for me was having to leave for the airport while my mom was still in the ER. I felt just terrible about it, and I was bawling as I left to the point that one of the orderlies gave me a hug, and my taxi driver (who thankfully gave me a stack of napkins) reached back to squeeze my hand. It's kind of wonderful to see how nice people can be in a situation like this. Thankfully, my mom seems to be doing really well now, and the prognosis on her procedure is very promising.

In other news, I went out to Fire Island with a few friends this weekend and had a great time. Unfortunately, I had to come back early today (Sunday) because I had to work all day, but we really made the most of the time out there.

Heading to the beach on Saturday, we saw this wounded deer hopping down the way. The park rangers take care of these animals, so I'm hopeful that he got some help!

Out and about on Saturday night.

My friends and I headed to Ocean Beach on Saturday to check it out and have dinner. It's a lot busier and more crowded than the part where we stay, but fun to check out for a night.

On the ferry to Ocean Beach with Marjorie. I loved how the light came into this shot!

Colorful bicycles in Ocean Beach.

When you get off the ferry in Ocean Beach, there is basically a "parking lot" for the wagons people use to cart in their groceries and other things. I'd never seen anything quite like it, and had to take a photo!

In band-related news, the emergency trip to Florida and the incredible amount of things I have going on at work right now are not helping me get to my aspirational goal. It was actually very hard for me to make good food choices in Florida, and it's been difficult for me to fit in my usual workouts. I was not surprised to see the scale up when I got back last week. It was up a whopping 4 pounds. . though only 3 as of Thursday. I have a hell of a week in store at work, but am going to try to at least get to the gym on Tuesday, and again on the weekend, assuming I will not be going to Florida then. That depends on whether my mom has her procedure on Friday or it gets pushed off to a later date. Fingers crossed for it to go extremely well whenever it goes forward. Also, I wanted to thank all of you for your nice comments. I really appreciated your concern, and I know my mom did as well.

Hospital Frustration

I spent the last several days in Florida with my mother, and returned to NYC last night. She was in the hospital for six days, the last three of which she spent waiting for her electrocardiologist to bother to show up . . . which he never did, despite that his office kept saying he would be by for rounds. It was very frustrating, to say the least, and we raised complaints about it that have gone up to the highest administrative levels of the hospital.

Finally, on Saturday, they just sent my mom home with two prescriptions and no surgery. Yesterday morning, we wound up back in the Emergency Room, since she was having a lot of pressure in her chest, and when we called her cardiologist, that is where he told us to go.This morning, my mom is supposed to be going in for a cardiac catheter (which will involve an angioplasty if needed). Unfortunately, I had to come back to New York yesterday. The plan had been that my brother would come in on Sunday and we'd overlap a day. But, once my mom was discharged from the hospital, we told him not to come because we thought my mother would be returning to work today. He will get there this afternoon, but I felt so badly leaving without him being there already, and with my mom on a bed, hooked up to tubes and machines in the Emergency Room.

A bright spot in all of this is that my mom worked in this hospital for about 20 years, so she knows almost everyone, and there is a constant stream of visitors and calls from friends and colleagues. So, at least she will not feel too alone until my brother gets there.

Thank you all for your nice messages, prayers and thoughts. I printed out my last blog with all of the posts and brought it to Florida with me so that my mom could read it. She was really touched and appreciated it very much. :)

Worried

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this, but it's a big deal to me and I wanted you to know it was going on. When I was coming back from Austin on Monday, I noticed that I had two missed calls from my mom (not unusual -- we talk nearly every day) -- and two urgent "Please call me ASAP. Need to get in touch with you" texts from my brother. I called him immediately. It turns out that my mother had some heart problems (we thought heart attack, but it's not 100% clear if that's what it was) on Sunday night and was in the hospital. Actually, she is still there and will be for two more days.

By all accounts, my mom will be fine, but this is really upsetting to me. My mom and I are really close. Some of you will remember that she actually came to Mexico with me for my band surgery and slept on a sofa bed in my hospital room the night of my surgery so that I wouldn't be alone and she could be there if I needed anything. She's the kind of mom who would literally give me the shirt off of her back if I needed it (fortunately, these days, there is a chance it might fit..), and who has been one of my biggest and most constant supporters in life in general, and certainly through this process. So, the thought of anything happening to her is just extremely upsetting to me, and I'm so glad that she seems to be OK and receiving good care.

With my mom on our trip to New Mexico over Labor Day Weekend

My mom reads so many of your blogs (she especially loves Roo, Sarah, The New Me, Cara, Amy and Angie) and posts once in a while as "Kathy." I know that she follows a lot of bandster blogs (without being a signed-up follower) and is always happy to see how well everyone is doing. So, please keep her in your thoughts right now and send her your prayers, best wishes, good vibes, etc. for a speedy recovery. It can't hurt, and it's bound to help at least a little. :)

SEVENTY-NINE!!

I was not expecting to see the scale down this morning!! But there it is. I'm now 4.2 pounds below goal and 5.8 above my aspirational goal. Wow. I did not expect that after the weekend, despite that I didn't eat too much. We had enough wine calories that I figured that would make up the difference!

July 4th Weekend

I had a great 4th of July weekend in Austin, Texas, visiting with my best friend and her sister and brother-in-law (Christi & Mike, who are both friends of mine from college as well). This is the third year in a row that I've spent the 4th at Christi and Mike's house, and I really had a wonderful time! We basically spent the whole weekend floating in the pool, chatting, laughing and having some very nice wine!

Here is a link to my post from last year's 4th of July trip. I've only lost 31 pounds since this time last year, but it's really made a big difference. Here is a comparison shot:

What I love about the photo on the left is that, even though I have 30+ more pounds on me, I was still down almost 50 pounds then, and I felt fantastic. The bathing suit I was wearing is a 14 or a 16, and I liked it so much that I actually bought the exact same one (shown at right) in a size 10 this year! (It sits a bit too low without the straps on. . . but who wants strap lines?!)

I also made plans during this trip to catch up with my friend David, who was a good friend in high school and lives in Austin with his wife and small son. I felt ready to catch up with old friends last year (after avoiding this during the years when I was heaviest), but the timing didn't work with our other plans. It was great to see David and to find that he's still someone I would pick for a friend. It was interesting to find out that our interests had grown in similar areas (food, wine, travel) as we've gotten older and that we still have so much in common.

I hope you all had a great 4th!

Pantiemonium!

I've been really good about cleaning out my closet and passing clothing on to other bandsters through The Sisterhood of the Traveling XL Dress. I've sent out packages all over the United States. . workout clothes, jeans, dresses, capris, tops, bras, etc., and it's amazing to see the ripple effect and how many of you are doing the same! It's a total thrill when I see you guys post or e-mail me photos of yourselves in clothing from me, and it cracks me up that so many of you recognize which items are mine. . . because I always used to cut out the size tags!

We're going to have to rename it the Sisterhood of the Skinny Bs soon! :)

These days, I only have a few things left that are above a 12 or 14. Obviously, my Jared pants aren't going anywhere, and I have a few special dresses and suits that I plan to get tailored once I officially stop losing.

Welllll. . . I didn't realize until this weekend that there are actually a substantial number of "before" items hiding in my apartment. In fact, they are all hiding in the same spot. . . my undies drawer! I guess I didn't realize it because all of the newest things tend to be on top.

So, how did I figure out that this stash of too-big items existed?? Did I notice it, then clean out the drawer? Why noooooo! Of course not!! Instead, I grabbed what I thought were some cute, new undies and wore them with my dress to brunch on Saturday. As my friend and I were walking down the street, I felt them start to slowly migrate southward - yikes!! I had to spend the rest of the day on stealth-tug duty, or I would have had a serious I-See-London-I-See-France situation on my hands!!

Bandsters, Beware!! :)

So, the moral of my story is to remember to treat yourselves to some cute new undies and get rid of the oldies! And be careful when you are getting dressed!! :)

Spin Me Right Round

I am really enjoying this new spin workout that I've been doing! This studio has much cooler spin classes than I've taken at other gyms, in part because they are so hardcore about it. They turn the lights way down, light candles near the instructor, crank up the music, and manage to give a full-body workout in 45 minutes.

Here is a photo of the studio I've been going to.

On Saturday, I had an incredibly active day. I was surprised that I actually wanted to do this, but I got up in time to make an 8:45 a.m. spin class, then got home, changed (and made myself presentable) and went to my usual 10 a.m. yoga class. It was a really intense workout -- and I probably should have had more water inbetween, but aside from a few seconds of a foot cramp, I was fine!

Here is the inside of one of the studios at the place where I go -- but I don't think it's my location.

Once I showered and changed, I went out for a great brunch with my friend Don, who is still in town visiting. After that, I did a quick jaunt to pick up a birthday present for my friend Monica, had a mani/pedi and a quick massage, then made it up town to meet Monica and a bunch of other people to watch the World Cup. And I did all of that by 3 p.m.!

On Sunday, I had to work all day (wah!), which is why I had wanted to pack so much in on Saturday. But, I made it out for a morning spin class and really enjoyed it. I did have a few splurge things to eat this weekend (steak, chocolate, etc.), but with all that working out, I was still surprised to see that my scale was up a little this morning. I wonder if it's due to the food or to building some more lean muscle mass. Hopefully the latter!

Public Perception and Soulllllllllll Cycles!

Tonight, I went back and looked at my photos from my trip to Monterrey, Mexico for my lap band surgery. It's amazing to me to see how far I've come since October of 2008, and it's hard for me to believe that I was ever as heavy as I actually was.

Photo on the left is me, two days after surgery. The one on the right is from last weekend.

A few interesting things have happened this week. For starters, several months ago, I randomly ran into a guy (Jason) who I used to see when I was in law school. He was extremely good looking, was a graphic design student at the Corcoran School of Art in D.C., and lived in my apartment building. My friends and I used to call him "the dirty hottie" before we got to know him because. . well, he was so cute that he made our minds wander! :) In any event, we met, wound up seeing one another for a few months while I was on hiatus from my relationship with my law school boyfriend, and we became really good friends.

When I ran into Jason, I was having dinner with a friend at a pub near my office. It had been 10 years or so since we'd seen one another, but he came up to me, and I recognized him right away. We exchanged information and have been trying to get together ever since (he lives elsewhere, but gets to NYC regularly for work). Anyway, last night, he e-mailed on the off-chance that I was free, and we wound up having dinner at a cool restaurant in Soho where he knew the chef and half the staff. They kept bringing out all sorts of wonderful things for us to try, and we were given some serious superstar treatment.

It was great to see him (he is still ridiculously cute) and to catch up (don't get too excited. . . he is married. . has two kids and he and his wife just separated and are living apart. . too messy for me). It was great to be able to pick up as though no time had passed. For me, this was really funny because Jason has no idea that I'd gotten so heavy in the intervening years. I'm kind of like (internally): "Hi! I've looked this good the whole time!" He said that he thought I looked just the same, and said something about how good it was that I was in such good shape. (I was like. . "Oh, if you only knew the long road it's been!" -- though I didn't say anything of the sort!)

In other news, tonight, I finally made it to this new spin studio near my house. It's a really cool studio (you can see the name below) and the class was fantastic -- great music, a really motivating instructor, and a challenging full-body workout (we even did a segment for the upper body using weights).

When I got to the studio, I started thinking about Gilly's recent post about the annoying "fat-checker" Zumba instructor at her gym. That made me think about what these people would think of me, coming in to do this challenging spin class -- and I realized that, to them, I probably read as a fit, athletic person. That was kind of a surprising realization, maybe because I hadn't thought about it before. Even in Boot Camp, I was about 30 or 40 pounds heavier when I started, so they know more about from whence I came! After more than a year of Boot Camp though, I have some muscles (to be said as "musckles" a la Popeye) and am in good enough shape that I can do any normal gym's classes without keeling over.

It's also kind of surprising to me -- someone who avoided working out for so long, who NEVER, EVER thought of herself as athletic, and who was just not self-motivated about the gym -- that I found this new gym through word of mouth, followed up on my own, and went to the class all by myself. That, my friends, is an NSV beyond anything on my wish list. It did not occur to me that I would become someone who would be that self-motivated.

It's amazing, but all those workouts have had such a great impact on how my body looks, and how I feel -- health-wise -- that I want to keep them up. If you look back through this blog, you'll see a bunch of posts through the months about how I felt badly about the fact that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to on the gym front, but I did eventually pull it together. So, if you aren't feeling motivated, don't give up. Just keep trying to motivate yourself and keep trying different types of exercise until you find something you like.

So, there is a theme to my post tonight, which just popped out at me. It's about getting used to the different way we are perceived once we get to goal. For me, it's a real pleasure. I like it, and it tickles me that, after 20 months of working with my band, people who don't know me assume that I've never been seriously overweight.

I am so overwhelmed by the feelings of gratefulness and happiness that I have about finding a tool that would let me get to this wonderful, healthy and extremely positive place. The burden that this has lifted from me is so much greater than the 78 pounds I have lost, and I love it that I finally am able to live my life appreciating how I look, instead of feeling like sh*t that I am not flawlessly perfect.

Another fun 40 celebration!

This past weekend was a complete blast! My best friend, Grace (pictured next to me, below) and two of her best friends since elementary school -- who I've known and liked for about 20 years -- all flew in to town so that we could celebrate our mutual 40th b-days together!

We all stayed in my one bedroom apartment (thank goodness I have two bathrooms!) and I'd been wondering how that would go. Actually, it was completely fine and a lot of fun! It was a lot like college, with all of us getting ready together to go out -- and also a bit like a big slumber party!

"Before"

"After!" LOL

We spent the days walking around town -- through Soho and the West Village and even headed up to Central Park. We also went to all sorts of fun places -- Buddakan (the restaurant in the first Sex in the City movie, where Carrie & Big have their rehearsal dinner), The Standard (where I saw Bono not too long ago), and to a bunch of other places in the Meatpacking District.

Being silly at The Standard!

Grace stayed an extra night so that we would get to hang out together, and we met up with our other closest mutual friend from college (Don -- my friend who you'll recognize from other photos), who also is in town right now. Here is a photo of the three of us. Alert the press. . . I have collarbones! :)

All in all, an awesome weekend! It was just so nice to be with such good, longtime friends, to feel great, and to celebrate! And, I love it that my 40th isn't for a few more months, but I've already had two big celebrations! :) Fun!

What I eat. . .

A bunch of people have asked me what I eat. It varies from day to day, but I generally have three meals and a snack.

Breakfast is usually a yogurt or oatmeal, or the occasional fruit smoothie (I like the Caribbean Breeze from Smoothie King with an extra shot of protein). If it's the weekend, I might have something small, like an egg or a few bites of a granola bar before going to yoga, and then I do brunch for lunch.

When I'm at work, I usually have my lunch delivered. My most common orders are some kind of soup that has plenty of protein in it or a chicken Caesar salad (I mainly eat the chicken -- they are both from Hale & Hearty). I also order grilled salmon from Guy & Gallard, sashimi, or even Thai green curry with rice.

For dinner, if I'm by myself at home, sometimes I'll make a piece of fish, or cook a patty of high quality beef (I only eat hamburger meat at home these days. . too high a risk of PBing to order it out), or I'll have a low calorie frozen dinner (so lame. . but so easy. . ). If I'm out, I'll generally order fish -- it's one of my favorite things to eat anyway, so it's no burden.

Here is exactly what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast: A package of instant oatmeal and an iced coffee (with half & half. . some things aren't worth the compromise!)

Lunch: Hale & Hearty Chicken Caesar salad . . . I only ate a little and saved the rest. I mainly ate the chicken, though I did have some lettuce as well. I also had a Snapple diet iced tea with lemon.

Snack: Two small oatmeal raisin cookies

Dinner: Some more of the Hale & Hearty salad

Water: I had somewhere between 6-8 glasses of water throughout the day.

I was at the office past 10 p.m., or I probably would have mixed it up for dinner. I also had one glass of red wine when I got home. And I watched 500 Days of Summer for the second time -- great movie! And, when I say "watched," I mean . .watched the first 30 minutes, then conked out on the sofa for a bit!