Technical Difficulties and Mountain Visits

My technical difficulties over the past few months have kept me from blogging as much as I'd like! Now that I finally replaced my old computer, I'm still having problems with my camera. Basically, no computer I have tried will recognize the type of device that it is, so I can't download my photos unless I put my memory chip in someone else's camera. Soooo... yesterday, I finally Googled how to fix this and found out that I could buy a memory card reader for $8. Problem solved! Hopefully it will get here soon so that I can actually use my own photos for new posts!

This past weekend was a blast. Steve and I both took off work on Friday, so we had a four-day weekend. We drove up to his parents' place in the Adirondacks with a group of eight friends (so we were 10 in all) and had a fantastic time!

On Saturday, I went up to Lake Placid with Marjorie, Steve's cousin and his two sons for the first time and checked out the town and the Olympic ski jump. Steve took another group cross country skiing, and we all met up afterwards for a drink and dinner. I was very happy with how dinner worked out. I had made two lasagne -- one mushroom (with shitake, Chantarelles, Baby Bellos and other mushrooms) and one more traditional one (tomato sauce, ground beef, eggplant and zucchini) and froze them to take on the trip. They heated up perfectly and were a big hit!

Sunday, we all went for a 6 or 7 mile hike up a road to a big lake that was frozen over. It was absolutely beautiful, and well worth braving the cold to see. BTW, after being uncomfortably cold last February when we went hiking, I used hand warmers and foot warmers this time -- they were total game changers!! I will not be doing a winter hike without them again! All in all, it was a great weekend, and I was glad for the chance to spend more time with Steve and our friends.

You want to know something kind of weird? I've kind of forgotten that I was ever fat. How strange is that? "Forgotten" is surely not the right word, but it's something like that. I mean, clearly, I remember what it was like and I recognize that I used to have 80 more pounds on me and that this was part of my experience. But I don't think about myself in relation to that weight, and it's hard for me to imagine that I was really as big as I was. I'm also still puzzled about why I let it get as bad as I did, now that I know how good it feels to be fit and much more healthy. A question for the other long-time bandsters out there -- do you feel like this too?

Baby Post Follow-up

Thank you guys so much for your thoughtful comments on my post yesterday (and e-mails, too)! Steve and I have talked about all of these issues, and we're both on the same page. We both want to have children, but we're both a bit terrified of the lifestyle changes. I don't worry about us being good parents -- he's such a loving guy, and I think I could do a decent job, too. But I do worry about the fact that we'd have to rush right into procreation mode the second we get married (assuming that happens.. I don't see no ring on my finger!), and that's a lot of pressure.

On another note, I was at Steve's a few weeks ago and saw a book on his coffee table entitled "Before You Say I Do - Important Questions for Couples to Ask Before Marriage"! I was like.. hello! What is this?!? :) I was really happy to find out that he'd bought the book for us to go over together, and that he'd already read it and left it out so that he'd remember to give it to me. I love the level of seriousness that this demonstrates, and the book has led to a few really good conversations, even though we've pretty much covered all its major topics already.

Hey... if I get married, I'll just might finally get to accomplish the one "PRO" from my pre-surgery Pro/Con List that I haven't been able to accomplish..... not being a fat bride! Hey -- maybe waiting til I was over 40 to tie the knot isn't such a bad thing after all.... ;)

Valentine's Day and Thoughts on Procreation...

St. Valentine's Day Loot for Steve!

I'm hiding out in the bedroom right now, while Steve is preparing a surprise Valentine's Day dinner for me! Happily, he sent me off with a glass of wine, some cheese and Max (my cat), so I thought I'd use this time to do a post.

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On the way home, waiting for the subway, I was thinking about how good things are right now, and I wondered to myself whether this 41 year old version of myself was what I imagined I'd be years ago. The fact that I'm not married and don't have any children is the one thing that isn't what I'd expected. But I am happy in my relationship with Steve and with my other relationships too. I also achieved my ambition of being a partner in a law firm, which is something I'd wanted since I decided on law as a career.

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Things that are even better than I'd hoped include how thin I am. Not that I'm sooooo thin at 150-ish (I bounce between 149 and 153). But, I never thought I'd get to feel good about my weight and how my body looks -- or that I'd feel like it wasn't a constant struggle. I also never dreamed that I'd be this athletic. Those parts of my life are way, way better than what I'd imagined. (The several year period I spent being obese, not-so-much!)

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I very often think about having kids, and what the future holds for me there. I really love children and always thought that I would have two (a boy and a girl, in that order, thank you very much). At the wise old age of 41, however, I see some distinct pros and cons there. Pros being that amazing love I see friends feel for their children, and all the fun parts of parenting. Cons being the constant drains on time, energy and money... and the sense of entitlement that goes along with being a kid, which surely can make any parent feel unappreciated and exhausted.

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I once had a friend tell me... "Catherine, I love my children -- don't get me wrong -- I LOVE MY CHILDREN -- but, if I had never had them, I have no doubt that I could still be a 100% self-actualized and happy person." I think about that often. Also, I've seen enough people who have kids who suck -- from the ones who are just natural born jerks to the ones who are liars, thieves and addicts -- to know that it's possible for even good parents to get a lemon. That scares the cr*p out of me. I don't want to mess up my life!

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So, sometimes I think about what it would be like if I just kept on this path. The path where I don't have to pay $30K a year in kindergarten tuition (I am not even kidding) so that I can stay in the city and my child can go to a decent school. The path where I get to relax at night and not worry if a business trip or fun trip crops up. But then, I think about being in my 70s and 80s and not having my own nuclear family to spend holidays with, and I think about not being able to watch a little person I love grow into an adult that I (fingers crossed!) love, like and respect. In so many ways, I think it's better to just have kids while you are young and haven't been spoiled by years of personal and relative financial freedom.

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But darn it. I just really like the little stinkers. What am I going to do? I know it's going to ruin this longstanding party I've been having, but part of me just wants what it wants. Oy...

TGIF....

This weekend, one of our friends got a big group of people together for... a black tie dinner at TGIFriday's, of all places! It was a ton of fun, very kitch-y and brought back lots of memories of eating out in college and high school! Above is a photo of Steve and me at the party. I found that dress at K-a-ren M-i-llen and it was on MAJOR sale... it was originally $360, and was marked down so many times that I got it for $97!! I absolutely love it!

Not too much else to report this morning. Things are generally very good. I hit spin yesterday and am on track on Operation Shred It For Cabo! :) :) I hope you are all doing well!

SHREDDING IT FOR CABO!!!!

Soooooooo... I'm on a mission to get 100% back in the saddle on my workout schedule and to get myself in the best possible bikini shape for my trips to Abaco and Cabo San Lucas during the next few months. On Tuesday, I went to Ph-y-s-i-que 57 with Marjorie, and ... OMG!!! I am so freaking sore!!! The workout is kind of a combination of pilates and ballet, and you do all of these very small movements ... along with pushups, these squats where you have a dodgeball between your knees and have to squeeze it as tightly as you can, and much more.

Yesterday, despite that I was pretty stiff, I made it to Soul Cycle. I got in a great workout, and stretched for quite a while afterwards. But this morning.... I was still so sore from Ph-y-sique! I took a hot bath wih lavendar epsom salts, which seems to have helped and am going to stretch some more through the day.... because tonight, I'm back at Soul Cycle again.

It feels so good to be back in action -- and I am being careful not to over-do it. I'm just sore in that "wow - I really worked out hard" way, not in the "hmm, maybe I pulled a muscle" way!

Amy had a really interesting post yesterday about why she thought the band worked for her, even though it doesn't get everyone to goal. Basically, it all boiled down to her being ready. For me, the same is true. The band worked for me because I was ready to make changes to my life (even if I did make some of them -- like incorporating exercise into my life -- slowly). It also worked because the band let me be successful at losing weight, and I found that really encouraging, and it motivated me to keep making changes and improvements along the way.

I also know from experience that you don't have to be perfect the whole time for the band to work. You just have to follow the rules more often than not and keep trying to work exercise into the mix until you find something you like and can stick with. The important thing is not to give up. Or, if you do give up, to remotivate and get back on the wagon.

Back in Action!!

With Steve at his annual Christmas Dinner (yes that dress is from R-e-nt the Run--w-a-y!)

Hi!! I've missed you guys! I've been reading your blogs, but my home computer completely died on me, so I haven't been abe to post! I'm writing this now on my new A-s-u-s Z-e-nb-o-ok -- it's 2.8 pounds and faster than my last computer. Am loving it so far!

Things are good here. I had a 1 1/2 month hiatus from my usual workout schedule because I was having trouble with my IT band in my right leg being too tight. Turns out it's fine - - I just have to use a foam roller on it regularly to loosen up the muscle, and I readjusted my bike at spinning. The whole problem might have been caused by my seat being a notch too high.

I still worked out during the 1.5 months, I just hit yoga here and there and also tried another trendy workout here called Ph-y-s-i-que 57. It was good, but I like spin better! Am so happy to be back in there. And, surprisingly, I didn't gain any weight during my time off. I watched the scale like a hawk (I get on once a day -- pre-shower, post-loo) and just made adjustments to my diet if it was up a bit. This has been my maintenance strategy all along, and it works really well for me.

Other than that, life is good! Steve and I have two trips lined up -- one to Abaco in the Bahamas next month, and one to Cabo for the wedding of two good friends in May! I can't wait!!

NYC Bandster Brunch this Saturday!

Hey, ladies! Just a quick note to confirm with those of you who can come that we're still on for a 12:30 brunch on Saturday here in NYC. So far, we're a group of about 15! Can't wait to see you all. If you want to post a comment with any changes in your RSVP, that would be great -- or you can e-mail me at chroniclesfrombandland (at) gmail (dot) com.

Looking forward to it!

Some More Catching Up

I am in Florida right now, helping my mom after a surgery that she had. I hadn't posted about this because we didn't know how serious it was going to be, and I was not sure how much I wanted to share about her health on my blog (though she did say it would be OK to mention the surgery). Happily, the surgery went really well -- she had a mass removed, and it turned out to be benign, which was a huge relief.

Unfortunately, that did put a huge cloud of stress over Christmas, so our celebration in NYC wasn't what it would have been under ordinary circumstances. I'm just very glad that things are back to normal now.

I was able to help my mom upload her photos from the trip to NYC though, so I finally can share a few of them now! Nora -- at last!! Photos from our dinner together! :)

At Saks, posing with a giant snow monster on December 26th

With Nora, her husband and my mom at Gr-a--mmercy T-a-vern. What a fantastic meal, and what great company!! (LOL re the expression on my mom's face! Was someone goosing her?!) :)

Mom and Kenny totally hit it off!Nora looked STUNNING!! She is more than 100 pounds down and just looked absolutely amazing!! Major props to her for all of her hard work!

My Word for 2012

I finally got caught up on my blog reading tonight and saw that many of you are picking a word to represent the coming year. For me, that word is "STRONG." What I want in 2012 is to be physically stronger, and to strengthen my skills at w*rk, to be strong in my resolve to act and live according to my personal code of conduct, and to show strength in the face of the many different types of challenges I will face during this year.

Right now, I'm recuperating from some kind of injury to my IT band in my right leg. It's just waaay too tight and is actually a bit painful at times. I am sure it occurred because I've been spinning so often in the past many months and overdid it. So, I am trying to give it a bit of a rest and will check in with a sports medicine doctor I have seen before who specializes in this type of thing. In the interim, I am NOT going to use this as an excuse to sit on my bee-hind, instead of getting some exercise. Instead, I'm committing to do yoga (and any other exercise I like that my doctor will allow) during my time away from spin.

I am NOT going back. I don't even want five extra pounds on me at this point. I have come too far and worked too hard to get where I am. I will not go back. I'm going to cut out some of the cr*p I enjoy.... like an extra glass or two of wine during the week... and cookies... and will get on the scale every morning to monitor how I'm doing. Period. LA FORCE!!!

Whirlwind Holiday Season...

At the F-o-u-r Seasons for a "Holiday Hop" organized by a friend.

I'll admit it.... I am EXHAUSTED from the holidays! I feel like I was running constantly in December. Between work, trying to get in to the gym and holiday parties, I had very little down time during the entire month. It was a lot of fun, but it wore me out!! Hence the lack of blogging during that time.

For Christmas, my mom came up to NYC for a ten day stay. One of the highlights was our trip out to Steve's parents' house so that she could meet his family. The three of them hit it off instantly, and we had a ball! It really went much better than I'd even dared to hope!! So, that was not only a huge relief (because while you expect the best, ya never know!), but also a lot of fun.

With Steve and a zillion others at the P--ar-k Ave-nue Tre-e Lig-h-ti-ng

At Steve's dad's annual Game Dinner (they serve game, as opposed to playing games... P.S. game is not the easiest thing for a bandster to eat....I was SO CAREFUL at that meal!)

Another highlight of the Christmas season was that the lovely Bahamas-dwelling Jessica sent me my second Sisterhood care package!!! It was full of lovely things like jeans, jackets, a cute sweater and a really adorable sun dress! My camera hasn't been working properly, so I'm having trouble uploading photos -- I hope to get it working soon so I can show you photos! That said, a few things were too big for me, so I'd love to pass them on to other bandsters -- I'll post photos as soon as I can.

My Sisterhood Package from Jessica from Island Bandit!

Another highlight of Christmas was getting to have dinner with Nora, her husband and my mother! We went to a fabulous restaurant called Gr--a-m-m-e-r-cy T-a-v-e-r-n, and Nora and Kenny brought some incredible wine from their collection for us to enjoy. It added so much to our enjoyment of the meal and that beautiful restaurant! And, it was wonderful to get to see how AMAZING Nora is looking -- she is more than 100 pounds down from the first time we met, and she just looked incredible!! It was really nice to get to meet Kenny, too. I felt like I already knew him from Nora's e-mails and blog posts, and he and my mom really hit it off, too. (Nora... I have GOT to get that photo from my mom!!)

And, finally, a group of us is getting together an NYC bandster brunch on January 21st. If you would like to go, you can e-mail me at chroniclesfrombandland (-at-) gmail (-dot-) com and I'll send you the details. Looking forward to seeing everyone!

The Mother of All Comparison Photos...

I'm constantly encouraging newbies to take a bunch of "before" photos, since I regret not having done that. I have very few full-body shots from my fattest days, and they are probably overly flattering, or I wouldn't have kept them.

Cut to yesterday... I was chatting with my sister on the phone, and she mentioned that she had come across some photos from a July 2008 (3 months pre-band) visit. I was all over that... and asked her to send me the shots she had of me that showed my size. We hit total paydirt!! At last! A real "before" photo.

July 2008 vs. December 2011

WHAT A DIFFERENCE.

I admit to you that I'm surprised to see that I was this big. I remember that day, and I remember being uncomfortable because of my size, but I don't remember actually looking like this, if that makes any sense. Anyway, I am so grateful to have this photo (and one more... I'll do another comparison soon), because it really drives home for me just how far I have been able to come with the help of my band, among other things (like this blog, all of you, boot camp, spin class, yoga, friends and family). Thank you, God.

BTW, the dress on the right is a Herve Leger bandage dress (I'm wearing one of the most body-conscious dresses ever, and I felt great!! I can assure you that the version of me in the photo on the left did not imagine I'd EVER be able to do that!). I borrowed the dress from R-e-nt the R-un-wa-y for a wedding that Steve and I went to on Saturday night. The wedding, incidentally, was a blast!

Quick update!

Wow! If I thought summer was busy ... it's only because I haven't experienced the holiday party season with Steve before! We have been out and about a lot -- and I've been making very good use of Re-n-t th-e Run-w-a-y, since I can't show up in the same dress at every event, and -- even though my size seems to be set now -- I just can't stomach buying multiple expensive long ballgowns in one season. So, that site is tiding me over until I gradually build up a collection of dresses in my size.

Here is a dress from that site that I wore to Steve's big annual Christmas dinner party last weekend. That party was a complete blast -- about 100 friends at his club for a really wonderful dinner. It definitely kicked off the Christmas season the right way!

BUT, how am I talking about Christmas parties without telling you how it went over Thanksgiving?? This was Steve's first holiday with my family, and it went really wonderfully. No big surprise, but my family all loves him, and he and my brother hit it off! I was thrilled.

With the fam at mini golf!

Thanksgiving was great -- and it was the first time I've had a family holiday where I exercised every day. On Thanksgiving, Steve, my brother, my niece and nephew, and I all ran the local Turkey trot. I wimped out and did the 2 mile run with my niece (and my brother, who is recovering from a running injury), and Steve manned up to do the 5 miler with my nephew.

Getting ready to run the Turkey trot!

The next morning, I did an hour and 1/2 spin class, and the following day, my brother, Steve, my nephew and I all went for a hike! When I got home, the scale down on the low end of my bounce-range, which was great to see. Not a bad way to come home after a great holiday of seeing my family!

Birthday Surprises!

Last Tuesday was my (gulp!) 41st birthday! The week passed by in a flash! Steve had "booked" me for Monday and Tuesday nights, but wouldn't tell me what we were doing. On Monday, we met on the subway after work on our way to our mystery plans. He was so funny -- carrying a big bag of presents, pretending they (white & pink paper with Eiffel Towers on it!) were for his dad, saying things like "So, what should we do tonight?" and "This is the F train, right?" (It wasn't) and "Did you bring your snorkle and your spin shoes? I'm sure I told you to bring them!") We were laughing so hard that we actually missed our real stop and had to get off our train and transfer to the uptown one to get back to our stop!

B-day cake!

After we got off of the subway, he led me through the West Village (a neighborhood where I lived for 5 years, so I know it very well) and I was totally unclear about where we were going! Finally, we came to a spot called B-a-r-b-uta, which has a great chef's table in the kitchen... and where we've talked about having a party before. I had NO clue that there might be a party in the works that night... but when we got to that particular restaurant, my radar went off! The hostess led us over to another table... I spotted a few friends at the chef's table... and the jig was up!! What a great surprise!!

B-day dinner at the Chef's table

I took this from my chair -- they were right behind me!

The food and the company were fantastic. What a wonderful surprise, and I'm totally blown away by Steve being able to pull this off so well without me having the faintest idea!! How I love that guy!!

The next night, for my actual b-day surprise, he took me to the Theater District, to a very cute Italian restaurant called Be-c-c-o. I knew then (because he had to tell our waiter) that we were heading to a 7 p.m. show, and it turns out that he got tickets to R-e-latively S-p-e-aking, which is a series of 3 one-act plays, including one by Woody A-l-len. I really enjoyed it, and it was such a fun treat to get to the theater!

After dinner, we played "tourist" and sat in Times Square having a glass of wine (which you're not probably supposed to do..) :)

In my fabulous new trench coat that Steve got me for my birthday! It's exactly like the one K-a-te Mi-ddl-eton wears (love her..)!

What a great birthday it was! And once again, I got to have a birthday in my forties (!) without feeling freaked out about the 4 before that number... and it's only because of my band and because I'm able to be in this decade looking and feeling better than I did in my 30s. Thank you, band!!

500th Post!

This is my 500th post, so I'm glad that I have something good to report. Yesterday, I received my new license. Why is this significant?? Because it means that I can finally get rid of my "fat" picture license! I consider that an NSV... er, even if I DID kind of look better in that picture (maybe I should go back to the blonde...)!

Fluffy Goodness!!

One of the band-related things that I'm the most proud of, but haven't really posted about because I feel weird mentioning it, is that I started the Sisterhood of the Traveling Clothes back in May of 2009. Since then, I sent out many, many packages to other bandsters, paying for postage on the simple condition that they share the clothes with someone else once they no longer fit. On one or two occasions, I even gave things away by the bagful!

By doing that, I gradually got rid of virtually every item of clothing I had outgrown (in-grown?), and got to know many other bandsters in the process. And -- LOL -- the blogging bandster community got to know my dirty little secret... that I used to cut all the sizes out of my clothes!! :) Another great effect is this snowballed, and so many bandsters in our community are sharing their old clothing with one another, which is a huge help as we all move on down through a range of sizes.

For me, one of the very best things about giving everything away was receiving photos from other bandsters and seeing how great they looked in my clothes. Here's a link to a post with a bunch of photos that people were nice enough to share with me. :) My favorite one ever is the one of the lovely Sarah, wearing a shirt that I sent her as she successfully completed her first ever 5K race. I was so impressed with her accomplishment (she said she was going to run and she did!), and it felt amazing to have some small part in that day.

I didn't care that I would never receive a Sisterhood package, since I was an "older" bandster and didn't know anyone who was both farther along than me and willing to part with clothing in my size. It just felt good to be emptying my closets -- both because it was the product of my confidence that I wasn't going to just gain it all back, and because I felt like I was helping people. But... woe is me... no exciting packages of unknown new, free clothing came my way! ;) Cut to this year's B.O.O.B.S. conference in Chicago, where I finally met the very lithe, slim and fit Fluffy! A week ago, she sent me my first EVER Sisterhood package.

Here is the package. Steve was with me when I opened it, and I totally cried when I did (I know.. I'm such a crier) -- from being so happy to be on the receiving end of this wonderful generosity, from thinking about how grateful I am for how far I've come, and for feeling like something I'd started had come full circle back to me, though I'd never had any expectation that it would.

This box made me cry!!

Now, dear readers, while I may be a total mush at all things kind and generous, you know that I loves me some fashion. So, I wiped my tears, put on some lipstick, and got to trying on those outfits! And there were cute things in that box that I absolutely love!! (And a few cute things that I absolutely love... but that are a size 6, and while I could squeeze into them, it was not a pretty sight!) I'm including photos of my favorites below! :)

A white button-down that fit absolutely perfectly, and Fluffy's size 6 black pants that I managed to zip! NSV/Pre-Christmas Miracle!!) :) An ADORABLE short sleeved jacket.
Do we like it over the shirt, or would it be better with bare arms?

And, this gorgeous going-out shirt in purple. Love!

Thank you so very much, Fluffy. Not only do I love these cute clothes, but just receiving the box from you meant so much to me! I so appreciate it, and plan to have a lot of fun wearing them! And, congratulations to you on your SIXTH bandiversary!

I'll post again soon... so much more to catch up on. Steve had a surprise birthday party for me on Monday night, Tuesday was my birthday, and we've been doing all kinds of fun things. But, I really wanted this to be a stand-alone post because it was such an important occasion for me!

Celeb-Spotting Quickie Update

I only have a second to post this morning but I had to (HAD TO) post about my celeb spotting of last night. Marjorie, E and B took me out for a b-day dinner last night at Wa-v-e--rly I-n--n, and among the other people dining within eyesight were.... Camer-o-n Diaz (BTW, Bad Teacher is HILARIOUS), H-a-rvey W-e-instein and.... Rob-er-t P-a-ttinson. They all looked great, the food was fantastic, and I have to admit that having that big of a sighting really added to our fun!


Will post soon.... I want to tell you all about the package I received this week from Fluffy!!

What I'm Eating...

Steve and I recently tried out a recipe from this month's B0n A-pp-e-t-i-t Magazine... Seared Salmon with Pumpkin Seed Cilantro Pesto. And man oh man, is it good!! In fact, it's so good that I made it for a second time on Saturday night, then cooked up another filet for us to take to work today with the remaining pesto, saffron rice and steamed snap peas. YUM.

I had a great weekend. My mom was in town and met with her boyfriend on Saturday evening (when his flight got in) to start their vacation. So, we had a nice time together on Friday night and Saturday day, and then I saw them for brunch on Sunday. Steve was with his parents this weekend, and my other friends were going to a black tie event that I opted out of, so I got a weekend night at home all to myself. A rare pleasure!!

I cooked, baked some goat cheese tarts from scratch (also, yummy) and watched the movie Bad Teacher, which was hilarious. I also was able to get to yoga on Saturday and spin on Sunday, which was great. Now, with an extra hour of sleep, I'm ready to kick some A today! :)

Halloween Hijinx!

Halloween weekend this year was a blast! We got a bunch of friends together for a dinner party at another friend's costumes, then hit several parties afterwards. Steve and I dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad (OMG .. and what a seriously scary mask!!) wolf!

Ahhhhhhhh! One of the great NSV pleasures of banded life!! Getting to wear a cute, sexy costume on Halloween!! I loved that costume! And you can bet that I wasn't going to wear this in 2008! Here is a comparison shot from me, about a month post-surgery vs. last weekend.

I was in charge of dessert for the dinner party, so I went all out.... I made a pumpkin creme brulee that I've made in the past and absolutely love. And... I made the pumpkin cheesecake recipe from this month's Bon Appetit magazine. The recipe called for me to make homemade gingersnaps (Yum! You can see the extras on the table) and to grind them in a foodprocessor to make the crumbs for the crust. It was really good, and a big hit!

The desserts!

Marjorie as Holly Golighty -- great costume!!

Party action shot!
Getting our group outfitted in snow boots, coats, umbrellas, etc. to trek to the next party in the snow! Can you even believe it was snowing here in October?!?

That's all for now! I hope that all of you had a great Halloween!

Catching Up!

Life in general has been busy lately, but filled with fun things, too. Two weeks ago, Steve and I participated in New York C-a-re-s Day with his company, and we spent that Saturday painting at a school on the Lower East Side. It was a LOT of fun. Not sure if you've picked up that I love anything arts & crafts-y, but I do, so I was pretty much in heaven the whole day!

Steve painted a classroom or two while I had fun with the murals!

Admittedly, this was my least favorite of the murals I worked on, but it's the only one I got a photo with!

Another mural I worked on...

Last week was crazy busy, both at work and socially. I actually didn't get in a single workout, which scared me a bit (I'm not going back!!!)! So, I committed to working out 3 or more times this week and have already done that (I took spin classes on Monday, Tuesady and Wednesday). But back to last week.... we had two black tie events. One was a benefit on Tuesday night for the M--y-s-t--i-c S-e-a--p-or-t, at which we were the guests of friends who had gotten a table. It was a really nice event -- the speeches were surprisingly good, the dinner was good, and the company even better.

The other black tie event was on Friday -- a very opulent 40th birthday party for a friend and ... 500 of his closest friends! It was so extravagant -- I've been to weddings that weren't even close to as nice. The decorations were cool (white sofas, hanging chandeliers, beautiful plants.. all in an old church that is now a party space), the food was amazing (lobster, crab, oysters, sliders, a million different tiny desserts, etc.), and they had a fantastic 10 piece band and an amazing DJ. We danced a ton and had a fantastic time! (I can't believe I have no photos!!)

We actually left that party to get home by midnight because Saturday was another big day. There is a steeplechase race that takes place every year out by where Steve grew up, and he has a longstanding tradition of doing a big tailgate. So, we were up bright and early to catch a 9 a.m. train out to the races to get everything set up!

At the races...

The races was an all-day event. We had about 40 or so friends come by, enjoyed a ton (too much on my part..) of food, had some bloody Marys and wine, and did a little informal wagering on the races! The event went from about noon until 5 or so, and then we went to Steve's lake club with a group of about 10 friends to see the sun set over the gorgeous lake. It was so picturesque -- changing leaves, geese landing in the lake, the works. THEN, after that, we had 12 people over to his parents' house for a casual dinner. It was freezing out, so we lit a fire, heated up the dinner, and all sat around eating and talking. It was a great group, and I think it's safe to say that everyone had a great time! People left in small groups as the night went on. Eventually, only a few of us were left, and Steve and another friend were playing, respectively, guitar and banjo together.... I was listening on a sofa near the fire and fell fast asleep. I missed the last hour or so of fun! (But thankfully, Steve tells me that I was NOT snoring.... 'cause you never know.... It has been known to happen....!)

OK, one more update. Last night, Steve and I were having dinner and heard a crowd shouting in the street. It sounded like a riot. It turns out that a big group of the O--c--c-u-p-y W-a--l-l S-t-r--ee-t people were coming down my street. The p*lice had blocked off the street with a line of motorcycles (the lights you see in the photos). And, as the crowd got to them, there were punches thrown, protesters trying to push over the bikes, and a whole bunch of arrests. We watched the whole thing from my window -- and I took the photo shown below. It was wild -- and a bit scary. I am very ready for this protest to end.

That's all my news for now! I hope everyone is having a great week!

Happy THIRD Bandiversary to me!

Today is my third bandiversary. Today marks three years since I took a well-researched, calculated risk. It marks just about three years since I was able to stop feeling like sh*t about my weight every single day and since I first started breaking free from the food prison.

So, how has my life changed? Well, I went from weighing 230 pounds to holding steady right around the 150 pound mark -- five pounds under my goal. I've become someone who looks forward to exercising and who talks about her workout at cocktail parties (OK, I know that's not necessarily a good thing, but I've bonded with a lot of other women about it..)!


I also understand that working out is the key to maintenance for me. Over the past year, my weight hasn't changed that much. I've been able to easily maintain within a range of about five pounds, and as long as I'm able to hit the gym 3-4 times a week, it's no issue at all to maintain on the lower end of that spectrum. This year, I did three trips -- all to the Adirondacks -- that involved serious hikes that I would never have even attempted at my start weight, and I enjoyed all three, though even at my current level of fitness, they were challenging.


In addition to fitness and maintenance, this year also has been a lot about being in love and enjoying my relationship with Steve. It feels so incredible to be with someone who appreciates me so much, and I love not having to worry if I look fat .. or if he thinks I'm fat... or if ... blah blah blah, anything having to do with fat. It's just not a worry anymore. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found a tool that would make it possible to let that type of negativity go. I never imagined that would be possible -- or that it was part of what banded life would offer to me.


I'm a lucky bandster, for many reasons -- including that Lap Band Girl always has her bandiversary just before me, and she always posts something interesting and thought provoking that gets me thinking. For example, her post last year led to me figuring out that I'd spent $120.25 per pound to get to goal. (It was worth every penny.) This year, she wrote a letter to her "fat self" that inspired me to write a letter to the version of myself who was thinking about having this surgery, but still had a lot of doubts. Here is my letter:




Dear Me c. 2008,

Don't be scared about this decision. This is going to be the right thing for you. The surgery doesn't turn out to be that big of a deal, and the payoff is going to be so good that you would have gladly suffered through ten times worse if you could see how this is going to turn out three years down the road. The best news I can give you is that you are going to get to your goal. You are going to get to be thin, fit and healthy. Believe it or not, you're going to become someone who other people ask for advice on staying in shape -- even people who don't know you were ever overweight. You're going to be one of the fittest people in your trendy spin class, and you'll get to wear super cute outfits there... and everywhere else.

It's a FACT that you are going to get to feel good about your weight, your body, and what you eat. Your relationship with food is going to change quite a bit, but only in ways that you are going to like. You'll still enjoy flavors just as much. You'll still love going out to nice dinners, brunch, cooking and entertaining at home. It's just that you'll get to enjoy all of those feelings without feeling guilty -- or disgusting -- or sick to your stomach from overeating afterwards. You'll get to eat ice cream in public, shame-free. You'll get to shop absolutely EVERYWHERE, and they will have clothing in your size, and you won't have to make due with things that are just OK because they fit you -- you'll be able to do much better than that.

You will never have to worry if a guy thinks you are fat. (Because you'll know that if he does, the problem is all his because you are definitely NOT fat.) In fact, your 40-year old bootie is going to look so much better than its teen-aged iteration that you're actually going to LIKE it for the first time ever!! You are going to get to wear bikinis in the summer! And, shopping for them won't even leave you with post-traumatic stress-disorder!!

You will be able to wear heels without being in undue pain the whole time!! Also, your feet won't hurt all the time -- your heels won't crack -- and you won't have to stretch out your back after you've been walking around for a while. Also, your legs won't rub together when you walk. I don't want you to get too far ahead of yourself, but I can tell you that CORDUROY is in your future! (No, you don't start a fire. I know -- I'm as shocked as you are!!)

You'll get to go to foreign countries and feel like a sexy jet setter, instead of a fat American. You'll get ushered in with a smile and great service at the Hotel C*stes in Paris, among other spots. It will actually feel GOOD to be hot in the summer, and you won't have to be nervous about wearing your swimsuit. Bumping into old friends will be a pleasure. You won't look ridiculous dancing (well... as long as you don't break out the robot... AGAIN. Seriously, you're 40 for crying out loud -- no one needs to see that)!

You're going to get to feel lovely -- and healthy -- physically strong, mentally strong, attractive, admired, and proud of yourself for finding a way to solve this lifelong struggle with your weight.

Also, you know that @$$hole saying "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"? I know -- totally obnoxious, right? Well, it turns out that it's true.

So, my dear self, circa 2008, please don't be afraid. Don't worry about the surgery -- you're doing the right thing, and all of the things you are so worried about really don't turn out to be a problem. I know that not everyone gets lucky like this, but you fall in the right percentages during at least your first three years.

Go ahead with confidence. There are so many good things waiting for you.

Love,

Catherine