My Backup Plan for A$$-Kicking Continuity

I've mentioned a few times lately that I get concerned that I might have a problem with my band sometime down the road. Again, it's been smooth sailing for me for the past 2 years and 8 months, but I get concerned when I hear stories from other bandster friends who have had problems, and I know that there is always some risk that I'll have a problem too. This risk doesn't make me regret having my surgery. On the contrary, I am glad every single day to be able to live life feeling good about my weight.

What it does is make me hell-bent on figuring out a game plan, just in case I might need it later on. I did a game plan (my Post-Op Plan for Success) before I had my surgery, and it really helped me to stay focused, especially in the beginning. So, I thought that putting together another plan would give me a good ready-made road map of what to do if there is ever trouble in band paradise. Here it is.....

My Backup Plan for A$$ Kicking Continuity

1. I am NOT going to say F**K IT, this is my excuse to eat.

2. I will NOT stop working out regularly (unless my doctor forbids it).

3. I WILL pay attention to what I am eating and how many calories I'm taking in.

4. I WILL join WW or another plan if my weight is creeping up, and I will rock that plan to the best of my ability.

5. I WILL be proactive about my care, whether in getting my band repaired or in considering other options like the sleeve (footnote to the lovely Jacquie for bravely paving that road!).

6. I WILL blog through this process, no matter how sh*tty I feel or how hard it is.

That's all I can think of right now. What about you? Are there other things we should add to this list? Does anyone else have a backup plan?

Motivation and Compli-sults

Lap Band Gal recently posed the question on her blog: "Where does your motivation come from?" ... And because Blogger is the WORST, I couldn't post my comment.

For me, I get really motivated by how much more I like how my body looks now. I also know that if I hit the gym hard 3 times a week, I look better at the end of the week than I did at the start. I also like how I feel while I'm spinning or doing yoga (and how I feel about the fact that I do spin and yoga now), and that really keeps me going too. Plus, I like wearing my cute workout outfits. (I salaam to Lulu Lemon.)

Speaking of clothing, that's another huge source of motivation for me. I freaking LOVE (LOOOOVVVVE) being able to find beautiful clothing in my size! I love being able to wear pants without hosiery underneath .. and dresses without a body shaper (though sometimes they really do the trick.. I don't care how thin a girl is....) I have always really liked fashion, and living NYC was a bit like dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean, shopping-wise (OK, maybe a bit dramatic..). Even though I live in one of the best shopping cities in the world, I shopped nearly exclusively shopped on-line or through a personal shopper for years before I got banded. Trying to find clothing that fit me was just a miserable experience that just reminded me of how unhappy I was about my weight. Yet now it's actually fun! And I will be DAMNED before I let my new things look tight on me! So, that gets my butt in the gym, too.

Another one of the comments that *#@! Blogger wouldn't let me post yesterday was on Amy's blog. She wrote about the "such a pretty face" comment that so many of us have heard for years. I always hated that one. It always sounded like a backhanded insult about my body to me, no matter how it was intended. In fact, I have a word for things like this.... "Complisult." Part compliment, part insult! And, a great comeback if you're on the receiving end of one is to say "Wow! That's the best compli-sult I've gotten all day!" :D

Expect the Best.. Plan for the Worst?

I've posted before that my biggest worry about the band is the possibility that something could go wrong and prevent me from relying on it anymore. I don't have any particular reason for worrying about this. I haven't had any problems with my band at all, and I have been good about not keeping my band too tight (which can be a source of problems, according to my doctor).

Out with Steve on Friday night celebrating the engagement of my friends M&B

I've changed my life a lot in the past 2 years and 8 months since I was banded. Exercise has become an important part of my day-to-day life. (I actually hit spin the last three days in a row -- and looked forward to it each time! This would not have happened three years ago.) If I didn't have my band, as long as I could still work out, I am relatively sure that I wouldn't gain back all 80+ pounds that I've lost.

But, I would gain back some. You know why? Well, it's because I allow myself to eat a fair amount of cr@p now and, since I can only eat a little of it, it doesn't really impact my weight. But, without the band keeping me in check, I'm pretty sure that my portions would be bigger and that this would translate into more weight.

I'm going to try to make some more changes in my eating, and to make choices that will help me to keep the weight off if I ever do have a problem with my band. I started yesterday... by avoiding what has become a regular thing for me... a mid-afternoon cookie break. My thought is that it's not that hard to make these changes with the band, and if they become habit, I'll be in a much better position if anything ever does happen. And, if the band keeps working like a charm, I'll just be healthier and getting better nutrition. (Not that I'm totally giving up cookies.... or planning to change my wine intake or anything crazy like that.... I'm just going to make some small adjustments and see how it goes.) :)

Survived South Beach! :)

At the Loew's Hotel in South Beach on Sunday

My trip to Florida last weekend was all too short! But, I had a great time visiting with my mom, and we shopped 'til we dropped on Saturday! I was looking for a few new dresses to wear to work to get me through the summer, but didn't find any. Funny... I figured that I'd just magically find exactly what I neeed at the amazing Boca Raton mall now that I'm a size 8 or 10... apparently it's not that easy!

Mom and I, having brunch at the Emeril Lagasee restaurant at the Loew's Hotel

On Sunday, we drove out to Miami to visit Aunt X, and the visit went surprisingly well. She and my uncle were very complimentary about how I looked, but didn't make too much of a big deal about it. I'm probably only about 15 pounds thinner (though a lot leaner because of all the working out) than I was when they saw me in 2001. I'm not sure, but that may be the last time they saw me.
I keep thinking back on why I was so hurt by what my aunt said about my weight in the past. I don't think she ever said anything that wasn't true when she commented on my weight. And, it seems pretty obvious that her interest in others' weight surely had a lot to do with her own severe weight problem. I suppose the fact of the matter is that sometimes it is painful to hear the truth, and that it also is upsetting to feel so judged by family on your external appearance. It's also upsetting and annoying to hear painful truths about very personal things, particularly when you haven't asked for, and don't want to hear, the speaker's opinion.

Anyway, all of this was a long time ago, and I no longer feel the same way about my weight or myself. It's very empowering to finally have control over something that had such power about the way I felt about myself, and the way others saw me.

True Lies (And a New Comparison Photo)

Warning.. if you click on this, the photo will get bigger... :)

People try all the time to dispel supposed myths about being thin and about weight loss surgery. The funny thing is that, as I get farther along in this process, I realize that I don't 100% agree with the top two things I hear the most. Here they are:

1. "Being thin won't make you happy."

AND

2. "The band isn't a magic wand."

On no. 1, being thin actually will make you happy if -- like me -- the biggest thing bothering you in your life is the fact that you are overweight. I feel happier every single day because I finally feel good about that one huge issue. I no longer wake up to the thought of how disgusted I am with myself, thinking "Ugh. How did I let myself get so fat??" Also, when I was at my heaviest, my feet would hurt even right when I woke up. My heels cracked in colder weather, which was painful at times. I never have that anymore. Getting dressed wasn't fun, but now it is. Shopping was torture -- especially shopping with thin friends in stores where there was nothing I could try on because it was all too small. That has all completely changed.

So, as it turns out, being thin actually does make me happier. Obviously, it doesn't solve completely unrelated problems. But for me, weight was the one problem that I just couldn't solve on my own before, despite that I tried many times. Solving an issue that has made me feel badly for as long as I can remember has really been life changing, and has improved my overall happiness incredibly.

On no. 2, in some ways, I do think the band is like a magic wand. Clearly, it doesn't work if you don't work with it. But, it has made losing a significant amount of weight -- and maintaining the loss -- possible for me. In fact, it has made it so much easier than it would have been without my band's help, that I do think of my band as being a bit magical... or a miracle of modern science at any rate... :)

Ready to Stop Hiding

Me - June 2006. Two years pre-band.

Did any of you avoid people you hadn't seen for a while after you got really heavy? I know that I sure did. One of the main people I avoided is one of my aunts. This aunt (let's call her "Aunt X") can be quite a lot of fun to be around, but she has always been quick to make comments about my weight. Usually those comments were directed to my mother, who would then repeat them to me, not realizing how incredibly hurtful it was to me to hear them.

With my mother in Positano, Italy in June 2006. I was on Weight Watchers at the time, and fast approaching my heaviest weight.

For perspective, let me give you the background that Aunt X ranged from somewhere between 200 to well over 300 pounds during the years when these comments were made, and I was only about 20-30 pounds overweight at my absolute heaviest during that time. Cut to sometime around 2000, when Aunt X had gastric bypass surgery. She wound up being around a size 2 and had a full body lift, in addition to other surgery -- and she looks absolutely fantastic. I had no idea that she was so pretty before then, though she always carried herself well and dressed nicely.

At the Sirenuse Hotel in Positano, Italy - June 2006

Being heavy gave rise to my superpower photo cropping skills....

Anyway, I have completely avoided seeing her for the last 7 or 8 years because I didn't want her to see me so heavy, and I didn't want to hear anything she had to say about my weight. So, now that I'm where I want to be, weight-wise, I kind of want to see her. I'm willing to accept that this may be a bit disfunctional on my part, but I kind of want to just show up all thin and be like ... Hi! (What? I've looked like this every day since you saw me last!)

As it turns out, Aunt X is going to be in Florida when I'm there next month. And if truth be told, it's not completely a coincidence that I planned my trip to overlap with her stay. I guess I'm ready to show myself finally.

In Napa Valley with Steve - May 2011

Memorial Day on Fire Island!

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Steve and I were out on Fire Island over the weekend with a few friends and got back last night. The weather was supposed to be pretty dodgy, but we lucked out and the sun came out for us a bit!

This weekend, I experienced a pretty huge NSV.... I wore my first -- ever -- string bikini. And, thanks in no small part to my adorable boyfriend, who pretty much didn't stop talking about how much he liked it from the time I put it on until the time I took it off, I felt pretty fantastic in it! (Er, not so fantastic that I didn't crop this photo so that my thighs wouldn't be on display on the Internet, but pretty darned fantastic anyway!)

She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny lime green Lily P bikini....

The cutest fire engine in the world...

Steve, playing guitar, and Marjorie sings along
It was a really wonderful weekend, and I enjoyed every minute. I also thought periodically through the weekend about what this weekend would have been like pre-band. It was so nice to be able to appreciate things like (1) being comfortable wearing a bathing suit (not to mention, a SKIMPY BIKINI!); (2) walking up to the water in my bathing suit and feeling good, not self-conscious; (3) not having my legs rub together!!!!! (This should be no. 1! OMG, I don't know at what point that stopped, but I am so glad it did... has completely changed my enjoyment of warm weather; (4) being able to enjoy an ice cream in public; (5) believing my boyfriend when he tells me that he loves how I look in my swimsuit; and (6) going on a bike ride with Steve for exercise and knowing that I'm going to enjoy it and not feel the least bit over-exerted (thank you, spin!). Wow. What a world of difference this whole process has made.

New Blog to Check Out!

One of my bandster friends is a fantastic girl named Nora, who I met through my blog and have had dinner and lunch with several times, since she gets to NYC fairly often. Nora lives in Europe (I'll leave it to her blog to reveal more details), is down about 60 pounds, and is roughly five months out from her surgery date. She is a very warm, fun, interesting and well-traveled person, and .... has just started a blog!

Hope it's OK, Nora... I took this one from your blog.... love the photo!

I hope you will all take a minute to check out her blog -- here is a LINK -- and welcome her to the bandster blogosphere! She is constantly traveling, so her journey with the band is sure to take her -- and it -- to lots of cool and interesting places. Am looking forward to reading all about it.

Wainscott Weekend

Last weekend, Steve and I went out to Wainscott with a group of friends to stay at one friend's house out there. Our friend has a really beautiful house with a pool (am so envious! Thank goodness he shares his house!). :) On Saturday, we wound up having a cocktail party to watch the Preakness, and a bunch of people came over to enjoy that with us -- I think we were about 15 or so people, then there were nine of us for dinner.

Post-Preakness Party...

For dinner, we grilled steak and swordfish steaks, had a gorgeous arugula salad, roasted tomatoes and asparagus. All of those foods (save for the steak, since once in a while, I get a bite that I can't chew enough and must ... er, discretely put in my napkin...) work just fine with the band. I can't eat that much of the salad, but can have enough to enjoy it and feel like I'm getting in some veggies. I really prefer family-style serving when I'm eating with people who don't know about my surgery (no one other than Steve knew among the Wainscott crew), since I can just take a small portion and eat most of what I put on my plate.

Prepping for dinner....

My band has been pretty easy to keep at a good fill level -- it's not so tight that I can't eat well, and not so loose that I eat too much. I've been lucky about that. I actually have a smaller balloon than most of you because I've got a 9.75 cc Inamed band (Inamed is now part of Allergan) with a 5 cc balloon. The Inamed band also is likely an older iteration of the band than most of our newer bandsters have. But it works really well for me, and I've been happy with it so far.

Cutting up the leftover roasted tomatoes to put in the eggs for breakfast... so delicious (just cut plum tomatoes in half length-wise, sprinkle some diced shallots, rosemary and a wee bit of sugar on them, and roast at 350 for around 30 minutes... so yummy.. and band friendly!)

Steve gets the eggs ready...

I loved Gen's comment on my last post about wearing white pants being a big NSV. I got my first pair -- ever -- last summer, and loved being able to wear them and feel good. This summer, my NSV is that I had to get a new pair because the ones from last year are too big! So, I am now wearing not only white pants... but white pants in a size 8! (OK, it's a Gap 8, but I'll take it!!) By the way, the Gap has the best white pants... with the bonus that they aren't that expensive, so you don't have to freak out when you spill something on them... like red wine... or sit on a raspberry that someone's gorgeous child accidentally left on your chair. (Both have happened to the new pair... thank God for Oxy! It gets out everything!) :)

Finally! Some Napa and San Fran Photos...

At last! I am finally getting to do this post. Seriously... my juggling act is out of control, and I've already been out of town again (to the Hamptons) since I was in Napa two weeks ago. But I digress... this is what I wanted to tell you about the trip.... :)

The weekend before last, I was out in San Francisco for some client meetings, and Steve joined me out there. My meetings only took up about four hours on Saturday and on Sunday morning, so we had the rest of the time to enjoy ourselves ... and to do a day-long trip out in Napa Valley!

Maybe I shouldn't have planned my Sunday morning meeting for a spot that overlooked the Bay to Breakers Race.... but then I would have missed seeing the costumes... including a totally naked guy wearing a Valkerie costume... (Downside: I didn't get a photo of him. Upside: you won't have to gouge out your eyes! LOL)

The Napa part of the trip was really pretty wonderful. Steve surprised me by getting a convertible for our trip, which added to the fun. We started out to St. Helena at the home of a good friend of his from a study abroad program, her husband and adorable daughter. They had a beautiful home -- tons of fresh flowers, beautiful garden, and served a very simple, elegant meal of two kinds of quiche, a gorgeous salad and fresh berries. Martha Stewart would have been proud! (Bandster note... I was served a bit too much, so I was worried that she thought I didn't enjoy the meal, which was amazing.... I just feigned "big breakfast," and all was well).

After that, we went out to a vineyard where we have a personal connection with the winemaker and they did a special tasting for us. It was really wonderful, interesting, fun and delicious!

Me, in front of the winery

Tasting wines with Steve.

This was one of the few times where I wished I didn't have a band so that I could overeat a bit! We had dinner at Bouchon and, after enjoying some pretty decadent appetizers (beer battered mussels... and escargot en croute with a cream sauce... hello, fattening!), changed our entree orders to go with something lighter. Of course, "lighter" for me was a salad of glazed pork belly with pickled cherries (which were amazing... I thought they were cranberries.. the flavor was so unique), and an egg yolk confit... in warm bacon vinaigrette....

My yummy "light" dinner.... er, at least it was a salad?Steve and I stayed in a really cute bed and breakfast in Yountville, just a short walk from Bouchon. I definitely recommend it. It's called the (spelling weirdly because of Google Alerts..) L-a-v-e-n-d-e-r I-n-n, and was seriously adorable, complete with an outdoor hot tub and a fireplace in the room. So wonderful. And one of the best things about the weekend was that Steve had brought me two cards, in which he wrote some very sweet things, and he hid each in my bag at a different point in the trip so that I would find them. Love!!

Back from San Francisco and Napa!

I got back from a very quick trip to San Francisco and Napa Valley last night! I was there for work meetings, but Steve came out with me and we made a fun weekend of it. The meetings went really well, I saw a few people who I hadn't seen since before my surgery (which is always a little weird... but so much better than running into people after a big gain, at least!), and Steve and I did a quick day and night in Napa for a bit of wine tasting and fun.

I'll post more, but wanted to share this photo with you, which is from a casino night benefit for an organization that trains guide dogs for the blind that we went to earlier this month. I just like how hugely we're smiling in this one! I hope all of you had a great weekend! Back in touch with a recap of the San Fran/Napa trip soon!

Picking Your Hose...

Last June, I posted about accidentally wearing some pre-weight loss undies.... and spending the day tugging them up, since they wanted to migrate southward.... with a vengeance! After that, I cleared out my undies drawer and got rid of anything that wasn't the right size.

Thing is.... I never went through my hosiery. So, occasionally, I'll wind up stuck with a pair of hose that are in a "Tall" ... which is at least a size bigger than I need. They bunch up, don't look particularly good, aren't very comfortable.... and have me saying the tag line from some TV ad I heard when I was little.... "That's [me].... the one with the baggy pantyhose!" I really need to clean out that drawer.....

In other news, I want to give a shout out to an anonymous newbie-ish bandster friend of mine who I had dinner with at Artisanal last night. She is down about 60 pounds and looks absolutely fantastic!! Woo-hoo!

La-La-Love Land And Related Thoughts...

I didn't realize that being in la-la-love land would turn me into a bad blogger! I miss it, but the juggling act still has not been tamed to the point where I find myself with enough down time to write as often as I'd like... but I'm working on it!

Here's an interesting band-related update for you. Since I started dating S, my scale bounced up around 6-7 pounds from my all-time low. However, I've refocused on getting in my workouts (after slacking a bit for a few weeks.. which is why I gained the weight), and I've gotten off about 4-5 of it, so that's good! I feel like such a good band citizen for nipping that gain in the bud... before it became 10 pounds.

-

Another interesting thing? I had my bloodwork done during my last visit to my OBGYN, and my cholesterol is on the high side. I didn't fast before I went, so it's probably not completely accurate, and I'm going to go back so that she can re-do it. Still, my "good" cholesterol was really high (which is fine) and the bad was on the high side of OK (which is not ideal).
I'm attributing the cholesterol reading to the fact that I've been eating so much cheese.. and so many eggs.. over the past 2.5 years. They are just easy food to eat with the band, and I also find them easier to cook (or, where cheese is concerned, to grab as a snack) than other kinds of protein, like beef and chicken (plus, they stay good for longer in the fridge). Um, plus I love eggs and cheese... In fact, I made S a cheese souffle with a great salad for dinner on Sunday night ... Perhaps not the best choice I could have made...

The gruyere and parmesan souffle I made. It was delicious....

Is anyone else a little... er, focused... about not getting food posioning? I've been really cautious about it since I got banded, largely because I don't want to have to do that kind of throwing up. So, leftover protein that has been in the fridge for more than a day isn't generally something I'm going to eat. I really do waste a lot of food... I try not to on principle, but I can't avoid it -- and the risk of getting sick isn't worth it to me. Plus, I can only eat a certain amount every day, and I do try to generally choose things that I'm excited about eating.

On the la-la-love land front, things are GOOD! Steve and I have a ton of plans coming up through the next several months, and have even made plans to go to Sonoma with friends over New Year's. We just have such a great time together and really just like each other so much. I love being around him, and it's probably the first time that I've dated someone who I'm totally crazy about who makes it clear that he feels lucky to be able to go out with me. I feel really loved and appreciated, and that is an incredible feeling.

On that note, I wonder how much getting my weight where I always wished it could be impacts my ability to be so happy in a relationship. They say that you can't love someone else until you love yourself... and while I don't think that means you have to be all perfect before you can fall in love, I do see that me feeling good about myself makes me better in this relationship. I'm not as insecure, I walk around starkers (and believe S when he tells me how great he thinks I look), and I just feel really good -- and comfortable in my skin. Also, that cloud of self-loathing I always felt about my weight before I had my surgery seems to be gone for good, and so life is just better and more enjoyable than it was before I was banded.

Quick Note and Some More Paris Pics!

This completely cracked us up... and horrified us at the same time!

Jersey Shore has come to France... touted as La Creme de La Creme Solaire

(The cream of the suntan lotion...)

Man.. I have got to get my juggling act under control. During the recession, work was much less busy and I didn't have a boyfriend. Now that things have picked up on the love and work fronts, I'm having a heck of a time figuring out how to do everything I want to do. Sometimes my workout schedule suffers, and most often, my personal "down time" suffers... hence my lack of blog posts in 2011...

Last night, I stayed home by myself -- just what I needed! I didn't go to the gym, I didn't answer the phone, and I didn't run any errands once I got home. I just put on my pjs and had a hot date with my poor, neglected DVR. I caught up on Glee, 30 Rock and Gossip Girl (with my cat stretched across my lap, no less), and it felt just wonderful to zone out and do nothing!

Don't get me wrong -- I don't want to do this every night. But, once in a while, it's a really nice break. I have spin tomorrow, the Philharmonic on Wednesday, a baby shower on Thursday, a black tie benefit/casino night on Friday, and a birthday party on Saturday night. It's so easy to have every free second planned up, and I really enjoy the things that I do. But, once in a while, it's just nice to veg out and watch some TV at home!

I also wanted to share a few more photos from the Paris trip. Did anyone see Banksy's documentary, Exit Through the Gift Shop? It's a great documentary about graffiti artists, and one guy in particular. In the movie, they talk about a guy from France called "Invader," who put up all these mosaics of Space Invader characters all over Paris. I found one in the Marais.... (look way up on the wall where I'm pointing)...

Me & Marjorie at the bar at the George V Hotel. What a heavenly spot!!

Me at the Guerlain flagship on the Champs Elysee

I THINK this is my favorite photo from the trip....

Cool post detail at the Place de la Concorde.... where Marie Antoinette lost her head...

Paris NSVs....

My trip to Paris was so much fun! My friends Marjorie, C and I shopped, ate and walked the heck out of that city and loved every minute! We'd all been to Paris a number of times (Marjorie actually lived there for 3 years), so we agreed not to the typical tourist sites.

Flowers at the beyond-amazing George V Hotel.... this is not where we stayed, since it's incredibly expensive, but we did go for a drink... and I bought an umbrella at the gift shop shown on the left of the photo.

I only have a little time this morning, so I'm just going to post about the amazing NSVs I experienced during this trip. I lived in France for a year as an undergrad. I'd studied French for ten years before I went, and when I got there, my classes were pretty basic, so I un-enrolled in my study abroad program and enrolled in the law school with the French students. It did wonders for my French, and I speak it fluently to this day. That background will take us to NSV No. 1....

1. When I lived in France, I was on a seriously tight student budget, so I didn't get to shop at all. . . and, by the time I could afford to shop there during trips over, I was too big to fit into the clothing they sell. So.. this trip was the first one where I both (a) had money to shop; and (b) could fit in the clothing. Very exciting stuff for me! (Though I actually didn't really buy much!)

2. This was my first post-surgery trans-atlantic trip, and I was very comfortable in my aisle seat on the way out. On the way back, however, the woman next to Marjorie got very ill (vomiting... not festive....), so I scooted over into a middle seat and let Marjorie take the aisle. In the past, the idea of being in a middle seat on any flight would have had me so stressed out, but I fit just fine. It wasn't the height of comfort, but it was fine.

3. In a cute boutique in the Marais, a French saleswoman saw that I'd pulled a size 40 for myself (I think that's roughly a 10) and said "Oh no! You are smaller than that -- I will pull you the 38!" (Meanwhile, the 40 fit and the 38 did not, but it was nice to hear anyway!)

4. They had clothing in my size in every store I visited.

Me, at Place de Vosges

5. We had no problem at all getting into the very hip bar at the Hotel Costes on a weekend night. (I doubt they would have been so quick to let me in at my start weight, though you never know.)

6. At lunch one day, I looked at the tables next to us, and realized that there was a French person who was substantially heavier than me at each of the 2-seater tables on either side of us.

7. At a wonderful restaurant one night, the very attractive maitre d' brought us a complimentary extra dessert. When we exclaimed that it was "too much" because we had eaten so well and so much already, he said that we shouldn't worry about it because "vous avez une marge" (meaning .. "because you are all thin enough to get away with it"). Yes. A hot French person told me that I am thin enough to have a second dessert.

8. Despite that I had a souffle and/or foie gras every single day of the trip, I did not even gain 1/10th of a pound. Thank you, band. And, thank you to all that walking I did!

9. I walked around all day, every day that we were there, and my feet and back were just fine. Pre-band, they would have absolutely been killing me.

Foie gras at Cafe de la Paix.... I highly recommend going there for this!

10. I got to enjoy the food during this trip and to be a bit decadent, without having to feel guilty about it. I just enjoyed it to the fullest, and knew that if the scale was up a bit at the end of my trip (which it wasn't), I'd get off the 1-2 pounds when I got back home.

Happy Easter!

Just a quick note to say that I'm back from Paris (update to follow) and had a fantastic time! My mom is here in NYC visiting me for Easter, and we've been having a blast! We both love crafts, so we spent part of today getting crazy with the Easter egg dye, glitter and the like. :)

Last night, she met S for the first time, and gave him a rave review. Honestly, the last two parental meetings of boyfriends didn't go that well, and I was really stressed out about this one. However, it just could not have gone better. S and my mom got along really well, had lots to talk about, and we all had a great time. What a nice night ... and what a relief!! :)

More to follow about my trip and the abundance of Paris NSVs and other fun. But first.... here's one of my favorite eggs that I did today!

Cooking with Catherine: Thai Green Curry Chicken

I made this really easy recipe the other night after work (it was quick & easy to do), and was really happy with how it turned out! It was at least as good as I've ever had from a delivery place! I think that next time, I might add in some bamboo shoots or some more veggies (eggplant and/or green beans, maybe) for texture.

The recipe below is just for the sauce -- I also made basmati rice to have with it, and it was absolutely delicious. The chicken was very tender after simmering in the sauce, and the sauce also helped it to be band-friendly...

Ingredients:

* 1 pound skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1 inch cubes

* 1 tbs dark soy sauce

* 1 tbs all-purpose flour

* 2 tbs cooking oil (I used olive oil)

* 2 tbs green curry paste

* 2 green onions with tops, chopped

* 3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped

* 1 tsp fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped

* 2 cups light coconut milk (I just used 1 can)

* 1 tbs fish sauce

* 1 tbs dark soy sauce

* 2 tbs white sugar

* 1/2 cup chopped cilantro, for garnish

What to do:

1. Toss chicken first in 1 tablespoon dark soy sauce, then in the flour, coating pieces evenly. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium high heat. Place chicken in the skillet, cook and stir chicken until browned, about 5 minutes. Remove chicken.

2. Reduce heat to medium and stir in curry paste. Cook for 1 minute until fragrant, then stir in green onions, garlic, and ginger; cook an additional 2 minutes. Return chicken to the skillet, stirring to coat with the curry mixture. Stir the coconut milk, fish sauce, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, and sugar into the chicken-curry mixture. Allow to simmer over medium heat for 20 minutes until the chicken is tender. Serve garnished with cilantro leaves.

I used my big wok for this... I kind of use it for everything -- best pan ever!

Waist Not Want Not...

So, it seems that me being banded is having an impact on S. I'm not sure that our relationship is 100% responsible for this (maybe 75%?), but he has put on somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 pounds in the last three months. Honestly, I don't see it, but he feels like he's too heavy. The reason for this? The guy does not like to waste food -- a good thing in general, but it can be bad when you're dating a bandster who never finishes her meal... So, when we go out to dinner or eat at my apartment, he'll often do a decent job on my leftovers. And... presto change-o.... those extra calories turned themselves into about 10 pounds! Yikes!

Interestingly, I also was a member of the Clean Plate Club from childhood until I was banded. I'd often keep eating until my plate was empty, regardless of whether I was still hungry. Now that I'm banded, I regret to say that I waste a lot of food. I try not to, but I can't always take a To Go box when I'm out, and leftovers (especially steak and chicken) aren't always that band friendly. I also tend to throw out a lot of vegetables... I'll use some of what I buy, but can't always finish everything before it goes bad. I don't like doing that, but I'm not about to consume a ton of extra calories that I don't even want to avoid wasting food. I do try to buy in smaller quantities, but it's not always possible.

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On the S front, we've been talking about how to remedy his recent gain. I've decided not to offer him my food, but to let him know that he is always welcome to have a bite of whatever I am eating and that, if he wants some, all he has to do is ask. That way I can avoid feeling like a food pusher.

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We're also going to do a healthy cooking challenge.... so, on nights when we're having dinner in together, we are going to take turns cooking healthy meals... with a view to seeing who can cook the best meal. That started on Thursday night. I made a nice salad (arugula, pancetta, ricotta salata and pears with a dressing of honey, Champagne vinegar, lemon juice, fleur de sel and pepper), followed by pan seared halibut with steamed green beans, roasted tomatoes and fingerling potatoes. Here's a photo... (I tried to rotate it... and saved it as a rotated version... but it's still showing up wrong...)

Lest we go too, too crazy, I also made a tiny dessert... individual lemon tartlets that I made from scratch (we split one). This was a really easy recipe -- the crust has roasted almonds in it (I put them in my coffee grinder because I don't have a food processor), and the curd is basically fresh squeezed lemon juice, lemon zest, sugar, eggs and a bit of cornstarch to thinken it. The other thing I did was to tell him that I could only stay over his apartment on Friday night if we could find a workout for me to do on Saturday near his apartment (otherwise, I'd miss my usual yoga class). That was actually really easy -- there is a yoga studio right across the street from his apartment, so I took in a class there, and also got S to go to spin with me on Sunday! I felt so good about us helping one another to be healthy and keep on track with our fitness goals. I think this is a great habit for us to get into, and am sure that it will undo the side-effects that he is experiencing from "banded life!" :)

Biggest Maintenance Concern

I've been really surprised by how easy the maintenance phase is for me. Basically, as long as I just keep on doing what I've been doing food-wise (read: following the bandster rules more often than not) and working out an average of 3 times a week, the weight stays off without me having to pay too much attention to it. I do still get on the scale every day at the same time... post-loo, pre-shower. That's my morning check-in, and it lets me know how mindful I have to be about what I'm going to eat every day. So, what are my concerns during maintenance?? Basically, my biggest worry is that something might go wrong with my band. I don't think about this every day, and I certainly am not posting this to freak anyone out. But, I do know a few bandsters (in real life and through the blogs) who have had to have their ports replaced, who have had leaks, who have had to have their band readjusted, and I also know two bandsters in person who have had to have their bands removed (one because of a hernia, the other because her stomach eroded).

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That said, I know a ton of bandsters who haven't had any problems at all. So far (knock wood), I'm 2 years and 5 months post surgery, and it has been smooth sailing. I have to give my surgeon (Dr. Roberto Rumbaut from Monterrey, Mexico) props. My port is in a great spot (you still can't see it and I'm at goal), I only have two scars, and everything seems to work just as it should. I don't have any reason to think anything will go wrong, but I do know that devices can wear out over time (though, as an aside, my mother still has the toaster she got as a wedding present in the 1960s, and the thing still works like a charm...).

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Anyway, an article that Gen posted recently made me think about this a bit more. I will say, if you read the study results, that you should keep in mind that these bandsters were among the first, they had different bands then we do, their doctors were less experienced, and they didn't have the same level of follow-up care or support. Plus, the study only looked at a small part of the group. So, I doubt the statistics are that relevant to what our experience will be, but it did make me think.

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I do wonder what would happen if I couldn't have my band. If I keep up with the exercise, my guess is that I'd put on about 10-20 pounds and have to fight like hell to stay at that weight, since that is what I did through my 20s and early 30s. I don't think I'd let myself ever gain it all back, and I think that the big lifestyle changes I've made (especially making exercise an important part of my life) would help to keep me from doing that. But I do think this is something that most bandsters think about from time to time, and it's a little scary to think about life without this helpful tool.

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What I'm going to do to help take care of my band and to make it last as long as possible is this:

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1. I am going to continue to keep my band at a good fill that is not overly tight.

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2. I will continue to be proactive about my health care and get in touch with my doctor right away if I have a problem.

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3. I am going to continue being mindful when I eat so that I can avoid PBing unnecessarily.

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I think that's it. I don't know what else I can do other than that, but I do think that will help. Any other suggestions? Also, if you have had trouble with your band, do you think it was worth it? My guess is that most bandsters will say yes.

Having Fun!

With S at a black tie event the weekend before last. I wore my hair up, for once... whereas in the past, I always used to hide behind it... (I still like it better down though..)

Hi! I have to admit that I'm having a heck of a time finding balance between all the things I want to (and have to) do these days. Work has been busier, and having a boyfriend is time consuming, too -- in a good way! :) Still, I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like. I haven't talked to friends and family on the phone as much as I'd like, too. It's a challenge to find enough time for everything I'd like to do.

I was kind of freaking out because I noticed how easy it was for me to let the gym slide to make time for other things. I'm really fighting that though, and making the gym a high priority, because I've worked way to hard to get to where I am to let it slide now. Plus, I really like having my body look the way it does now, I don't want to feel anything but good for a single second on the beach this summer, and I really love the way working out regularly makes me feel.

Being silly on Park Avenue. Why yes, S CAN pick me up pretty easily!! And I wasn't even freaking out about whether or not he'll hurt himself or think I'm too heavy. Talk about an NSV... !

Not too much else to report today! Things with S continue to go really well. I had a great visit with his parents last weekend, and they were just wonderful. He's going to meet my mother over Easter, too! Good stuff all around. Hope everyone is doing very well!