Shout Out to The Dash from Chicago!

I took a ton of photos over the weekend, and this is among my favorites! We were all wishing that Cara, a.k.a. The Dash (or as I secretly refer to her sometimes. . Dashy von Dashenstein) :) could have come over from Australia to be with us in Chicago. I've been following her blog since before she had her surgery in May 2009, and just plain old love her! So, Cara -- this photo is for you.

Catherine, Angie, Cara, Sarah, Rani, Amy and Jen

Here is a larger version of the BBerry in the photo. (It may be hard to tell, but that is a photo of Cara we have up on the screen so that she could be in the picture with us.) :)

3,435 More Reasons to Love the Bandster Blogosphere

The Band of Outrageous Babes!
(LOL - Gilly!! I just noticed what you are doing!)

Chicago was incredible. I felt like I was having a dream in which fifty of my favorite bloggers came to life! It was so intense and more than a little surreal! It was amazing to meet everyone. Everyone, without exception, was just like I thought they would be from their blogs. We laughed our heads off, talked up a storm, and cried and hugged a whole lot too!

I loved this trip. It was a really special, unique thing to have so many of us all together. I've never had another experience quite like it. The organizers did a phenominal job of putting everything together, and it was just absolutely mind-boggling to get to meet everyone all at once. Major sensory overload!! Still, I do feel like I got in some one on one time with just about everyone, which was so nice.


I met a lot of bandsters who told me that mine was the first blog that they had ever read, and some who said that reading my blog helped them make their decision to get banded. It was very moving and meaningful to me to hear that. (Cut to the tears and hugging!) I love it that something I did could help other people -- in this case, friends who I had not yet met, but who would come to be an instrumental part of keeping me on the right path with my band and giving me an incredible amount of support. Every person who I helped has helped me, too. Without all of the encouragement and support I've received from all of the amazing bandsters in our on-line community, I do not think I would have been as successful with my band, and I know for sure that this whole process would not have been, and continue to be, so much fun and so rewarding without you.

At our dinner on Saturday night, Sarah had everyone write down how many pounds they had lost on the Bandster Cheat Sheet I put together with everyone's photo, name and blog name on it. She then added it all up. Be prepared to be blown away! (Um. . video didn't post right. . working to fix this now!)

The Gilly-fied BYOC

In honor of the upcoming Chicago trip, I thought I'd answer the quiz that Gilly posted on the group's blog. . .

1. You're trapped on a desert island and can only bring three of your favorite foods along. What do you bring?

Eggs, cheese and oranges (b/c I don't want scurrrrvy!). I'm assuming I'll get all Robinson Crusoe and rig up something to let me catch fresh fish. :)

2. If you could meet any three people, living or dead, who would they be and why?

1. Madonna, because I think she's incredible.

2. My great-grandmother, Margaret, since my parents and aunts and uncles all loved her so much and I only knew her when I was a small child. I'd love to spend some time with her as an adult. She was supposed to be a LOT of fun and just a great person. I can only imagine the great conversations we would have and getting to hang out with her.

3. Jesus, because I think it would be really interesting to see what he was like in person.

3. What is your stripper name? (Take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on)

Charlie Palmer. . Hmmm. . . that is not sexy, but it does make me want to eat a steak!

4. What is your LEAST favorite part of your body since losing weight? Your MOST favorite since losing weight?

I love all the parts more now than before. . so I don't want to diss any of them by calling them my least favorite. That said, the parts I'm working to improve the most right now are my thighs. My favorite body part is my head! That hasn't changed at all. :) However, I have a new love for my previously-hated bootie. Oh, bootie, I never knew it could be like this for us! LOL

5. Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a house that is supposedly haunted?

No. OK, maybe. OK, it depends on how recently I've seen a scary movie. . . :) Let's just say that I don't NOT believe in them enough that I would get anywhere near that haunted house after nightfall!! I've seen enough scary movies to know that's always a mistake!

6. What is your natural hair color? If you dye it something completely different from what your momma gave ya, how come?

It's dark blonde/light brown. Actually, my current color is pretty much my natural color. . if I wasn't about 1/3 gray at this point!

7. Boxers or briefs? Alternatively. . bikinis or granny panties?

Either for guys. Bikinis, low-rise hipsters and teeny boy shorts for me. I do not buy ugly undies as a rule, and there are no granny panties in my house! Favorite brands are B.Tempt'd (great line from Wacoal), Chantelle, Hanky Panky, Honeydew and On Gossamer.

8. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

That is a tough one!! It's a toss up between Overboard, Irreconcilable Differences, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Way We Were ("Hubbel!!").

9. What is your guilty pleasure?

Gossip Girl. Love that show! Plus, New York Magazine's Gossip Girl Reality Index is hilarious and a great guilty pleasure companion. (Seriously, if you watch the show and haven't read it, click that link -- it's hilarious.)

10. How many pounds gone forever are you celebrating?

Seventy-nine, but let's round that up!

Um, is it bad that I'm not posting . . .

Because I don't want to put up pictures of any new outfits that I might wear in Chicago?! :) OK, will just refrain from putting up any personal photos today! (I'm still building the new wardrobe. . there are not infinite choices yet!) :)

I thought this was a great message. Even if it should say "yesterday has gone". . . :)

In addition to the dreamy dermatologist, I also had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Ren last week. I seriously thought about cancelling it, since I didn't need a fill, but by the time I got it together to actually call, it was too late to cancel. So, I wound up going.

Every time I'm in that office, I wonder if someone who knows me through the blog is in the waiting room, but so far, no one has ever said anything. I totally sported my new hot pink DVF sheath dress (photo in recent post). I figured that if I had to go to the appointment, I might as well represent! Hee hee :)

Maybe I'm overly emotional, but every time I get to Dr. Ren's office, I feel like I just want to burst into tears -- tears of happiness, relief and gratitude. I suppose that being in that waiting room really drives home for me how far I've come with my band, and reminds me of all the many steps along the way. So I totally rein it in, but when I was talking to Dr. Ren, I wound up getting all teary-eyed. She was really happy with my progress and glad that I'm having a relatively easy time of maintenance. She even asked me if I'd gone public about my surgery, since they get a lot of media requests. As fun as that sounds, I don't want to do it -- I like my privacy too much.

Anyway, I started telling her how good I feel, how much I'm enjoying life, and how much better my quality of life is now that I'm comfortable all of the time and have been able to let go of the self-loathing I felt about my weight. I thanked her from the bottom of my heart for everything she has done to help me along in this process and told her how grateful I am to have found this tool and to have found a way to get my self (that girl I used to see in the mirror) back.

I sent a note to the same effect to Dr. Rumbaut and his team (he is my surgeon in Monterrey, Mexico) recently. I've been so happy with the job they did. I have only two incisions, the scars have healed very nicely (one is pretty hard to see, the other is faded but not invisible), and they placed my port in a great spot. You still can't see it, even though I'm at goal.

As for my aspirational goal of 145, I'm not sure I'm going to get there. My weight likes to hover around 153, even with all the workouts I am doing. But that's completely fine with me. I don't feel compelled to lose more, though I'd be psyched to get off another 5 pounds. We'll see how it goes . . :)

Really Exited about Chicago!

Sunset in Brooklyn on Saturday

Only time for a short post this morning! I just wanted to say how much I'm looking forward to finally meeting all of you who are going to Chicago! I've been debating what to wear. . . and hoping the scab on my cheek from my dermatologist appointment will heal before then!

Thinking About Health. . .

Now that I've gotten to a place where I actually feel good about my body and fitness level, it dawned on me that I shouldn't take my good health for granted. During the last few months, there have been a number of things that reminded me of this. First, my mom's health scare (she is fine now, thank God), second, finding out that Jacqui from LapBandTalk (whose posts I always love) is undergoing treatment for colon cancer, third, the recent death of one of my law partners due to melanoma, fourth, watching that great new Showtime series "The Big C" (Laura Linney's character is dying from Stage 4 melanoma), and fifth, seeing my best friend lose her sister-in-law and dear friend to cancer when she was only in her mid-30s.

So. . .what did this make me do? Well. . since I'm Little Miss Sun-Lover who has lived (and tanned. .) in places like Texas, Saudi Arabia and the Bahamas, I finally. . for the first time ever, FINALLY made an appointment with a dermatologist to get the full-on skin inspection. I went to that appointment today. I'd like to thank my band for letting me get to a weight where I was not too humiliated to let every inch of my body be inspected under, literally, a magnifying glass. . .

Oh! And did I mention that my doctor is VERY CUTE?? And really funny and charming?! Why yes. Yes, indeed. Nothing like having to meet a guy you wouldn't mind dating when you're starkers, aside from a paper gown that he keeps moving off of various parts of your anatomy . . . Seriously, at one point, I was basically naked from the waist up, trying to act nonplussed while he examined a mole on my right breast . . . um. Hi. Difficult!!!

Not my doctor, but this will give you a good visual for the story. . .

While I'm at it, I may as well disclose that my doctor was a little flirty. . and that my friend who referred me to him had been thinking of trying to set me up with him. He was actually really adorable and we had a nice conversation. At one point, I asked if the shot he was going to give me would hurt and he reached over and pinched my arm (me: "OUCH!!") and said "It will hurt about that much." Anyway, cuteness aside, I'm really glad I went. It turns out that I have pre-cancer cells on my right cheekbone, which he has now frozen off. I also had two worrisome moles that he cut off and is going to biopsy. Fingers crossed that all is well.

In other health news, I'm FINALLY going to go in for my first-ever mamogram before my birthday. I know . . I know. . I should have done this already. Well, I'm going to do it now. I just feel like I owe it to myself to identify any potential problems now and to take good care of my body in a global sense -- not just with respect to weight and fitness. OK. . OK. . I'll make a dentist appointment too!

Grateful

A post that Sarah made last week really got me thinking. I find myself at different times -- and on a pretty regular basis -- being struck by how grateful I feel to have gotten my weight under control. It kind of blows me away.

I ran the Susan G. Komen Race for The Cure yesterday, here in Central Park. This is my third time to participate, and my second time to actually RUN the race. I posted about this last year, but when I was at my highest weight, I actually physically was unable to run for more than about 15 minutes because I had something called "compartmental syndrome" (click on the link to last year's post if you're curious).

This year, I'm nearly 80 pounds down, and am about 20 pounds lighter than I was when I ran last year. I've been working out consistently through the whole year, and running 5K was a breeze. After I hit mile 3, I upped my speed for a strong finish and was thinking about how far I've come during the past two years, how much improved my health and appearance are, and how just plain good I feel all of the time. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying tears of joy.

Me, just after I crossed the finish line!

This was my FB Profile Pic yesterday. If you told me three years ago that this would be me, I doubt I would have believed you!

Different things happen all of the time to bring that feeling of gratefulness to the forefront of my mind. Before the race, I had that feeling in my spin class during that same week. The instructor yelled out some move for "advanced cyclists," and I was like "Wow. That means me." I've gone from being someone who probably would have been too embarrassed to go to that super cool spin studio all by myself, and now I'm one of the fit girls in there in my obnoxiously cute Lululemon outfit! If I wasn't actually living this, it would be so hard for me to believe that this kind of transformation would have been possible. So, I'm grateful. Seriously, seriously overwhelmingly grateful.

Beyond My Wildest Dreams!!!

People. PEOPLE!!! Something insane has happened!!! Something that I NEVER thought could ever, possibly happen has happened. I saw a photo of my bootie and did not cringe in shame! Actually, I think it's a kind of cute photo. And, the biggest shocker, is that I've had TWO photos taken of this view recently and I am at peace with both. OK, so I'm in no danger of being recruited for one of those commercials for the new Reebok butt-sculpting shoes, but who cares?!

Me, my bootie and my adorable nephew at the U.S. Open last weekend!

You see, I've gone through my entire teen and adult life thinking my butt was horrible -- too big, not shapely, etc. My family, frankly, did wonders toward reinforcing my bad feelings about this, among other things. . . but this blog is not about blame-casting. Suffice it to say that, for my entire life up to -- possibly now -- if Sir Mixalot came through on the speakers, I was hiding my gadunkadunk on a chair!

Anyway, after more than a year of boot camp, yoga and a few months of spin, honestly, the ole bootie is looking pretty darned good. Who knew that I'd have to get to nearly 40 years old to get a butt that I actually like?!? Heck . . I never thought it would be possible to be happy with that particular feature, so I'm shocked to get to it at any age. Anyway, I knew you guys would be among the very few who would understand my feelings on this. Crazy, unexpected NSV!!

With my friend Angelina at her birthday party 2 weeks ago. I thought this photo was a fluke!

Chicago, Chicago!

I have to admit it . . I am getting really excited about the B.O.O.B.S. conference and meeting so many of my favorite blogging bandsters! I love it that we have such a great group of organized people planning the trip and am really looking forward to all of the events. I even sent in my $80 yesterday (I'm such a brown noser. . ). :D

OK, so this theater is in NYC. . whatevs!

One thing I've been doing is putting together a "cheat sheet" of everyone who is going. It's just a simple sheet with everyone's picture, first name, city (or state or country), and blog title. I started doing this for myself, just so I could keep everyone straight, but then I realized that it might be helpful for everyone to have it. I'm going to e-mail it to the organizers when it's ready. That said, if you're going to be in Chicago for the conference and have a face shot that you want me to use for you, just e-mail it to me at chroniclesfrombandland [at] gmail.com (put your first name and blog in the subject line please). Otherwise, I'll just pick the best recent photo that I see on your blog.

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Anyway, I just wanted to give a big shout out to the lovely and talented organizers, Jennifer, Amy, Joey, Drazil, Grace, Band-Babe, Deborah, Stephanie and Linda. You girls are amazing, and I am so glad that you are putting this together. The t-shirts are incredibly cute, too! Joey, you are seriously talented!! And, it made my day to visit the B.O.O.B.S. site and see that I was a featured blogger the other day! I really appreciated all of the nice comments, and it makes me so happy (and totally choked up) every time I hear that this blog helped one of my sisters in band land.

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I also can't believe how far the Sisterhood has expanded, and I wish I had some things left to bring to Chicago! It did not occur to me when I sent all of my outgrown (in-grown? LOL) sizes to bandsters across the country that this would become a part of our bandster blogosphere culture, or just how generous all the amazing people in our community would be with one another. I've seen a few of my clothes go to 3 or 4 bandsters, which I love. It's incredible, and it also cracks me up that you all know my dirty little secret of cutting the sizes out of my clothes! (I don't do that anymore, funny enough. .) :) I wish we all would have started by sewing tags with our names inside so that we could see the legacy of bandster success stories who had each item before us. We all are a part of this sisterhood, and I hope this tradition of sharing continues long after we all reach our goals and our final sizes.

Fun Week. . . And It's Only Wednesday!

This is shaping up to be a really fun week! I wound up making a lot of plans and have really been enjoying them.

At the rooftop bar at 60 Thomson (a hotel in Soho) last night, wearing my new DVF dress!

On Sunday, I went to my spinning class in the morning, then made this really delicious (!) recipe for pulled pork tacos that requires the pork to be slowly cooked at 300 degrees for 5 1/2 hours. It is so tender and delicious! It did, however, make a TON of food, so I portioned much of it out into Ziplock bags and froze it. (This recipe freezes really well.)

Partly because I made so much food (and partly because I just wanted to see him), I invited C over for dinner on Monday night. I made fresh guacamole, a salad that was just sliced jicama with this spicy honey lime dressing, bought two kinds of very fresh salsa -- one tomato, one pineapple with jicama -- from Whole Foods, and some blue corn chips, and we had a little feast. Everything worked just fine with the band (I just ate one taco, a little guacamole and some jicama). And, of course, it was nice to spend some time with C.

Last night, I met up with Peter, who is one of my very best friends, and who I dated on and off for about 5 years from 1995-2001, starting when we were in law school together. Peter is a great guy and, after all those years, we just really understand one another, so it's always nice to talk with him. (Don't get excited people, he's in a serious relationship with a very nice girl!) :)

With Peter at 60 Thomson

This picture doesn't even do Peter justice. He showed up looking as tan, fit and handsome as I've ever seen him -- honestly, he looked like an Italian movie star. So, between that and my new DVF dress (not to mention the new body. .LOL), we were feeling pretty good! The rooftop bar at this hotel is restricted to guests and members, but not only were we able to (with some effort and a very cute "Please?" on Peter's part) talk our way in, they also gave us the best table, with the best view! So, not only did I have the fun of catching up with my dear friend, I got to do it in snobby Soho style. NICE! :)

The rest of the week should be good, too! I have dinner with another good friend tonight, spin on Thursday, a birthday dinner on Friday for another friend, and am catching up with an old boyfriend who will be in town on Saturday. Am looking forward to all of it!

The Joy of Shopping (and thoughts on maintenance)

I had brunch today in the Meat Packing District, then walked around with a friend, going in and out of a few shops. One of our stops was the Diane von Furstenberg store. I've wanted a dress from there for years, but they never fit before. After I got banded, I passed that store one day and promised myself that I would buy myself a DVF dress when I got to goal. Guess what? That happened today.

I don't have a photo of the dress, but it's great -- it's a sheath dress in "deep geranium" (almost a fuschia). It fits perfectly and will be great to wear to work. I'll post a photo when I wear it. Wait!! I just realized that it's nearly a dead ringer for the Joan Holloway dress I posted recently!

One thing that I've been wanting to write about is maintenance. I hit my goal of 155 pounds on April 5th, which is already four months ago. Wow -- time has flown by! I still consider 145 to be my aspirational goal, but am OK with staying where I am. I haven't lost any weight now for over a month, but that is fine (I am at 151 right now).

So far, maintenance is actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. I'm at the point where it is harder for me to lose, so there is no risk of me getting too thin. My band is open enough that I can eat comfortably, but not so open that I can overeat. I actually love being at this level because when my band is tighter, I actually don't make as good of food choices, since it's harder to eat most kinds of protein. I don't do anything too much differently from what I did as I was losing, it's just that now my calorie intake is in line with what I need to maintain this particular weight.

My secret Maintenance weapon! The bathroom scale . . .

The most important thing I do to keep myself in check is to just get on the scale every morning. It's such an easy, simple thing to do. Every morning, I hop on the scale and see where I am, weight-wise. That tells me how mindful I need to be that day about following the bandster rules and making good food and exercise choices. Also, because I look at the scale every day, there is no way several pounds are going to creep up on me without me knowing about it. This is such a ridiculously simple thing to do, especially given how incredibly helpful it is to keep me focused. It's not hard anymore to make the right food choices, and I actually really like the way working out makes me feel and how it's changed my body -- and that provides a really good incentive for me to keep working out.

This simple act of getting on the scale every day is a HUGE departure from my behavior pre-band. I used to avoid the scale like the plague. Then, when I finally decided to weigh myself, I'd have to psych myself up to it for a few days. Eventually, I'd cringe (with my eyes half-squeezed shut), get on the scale and look at the (always higher) number. Then I'd feel terrible about myself, my weight, and how fat I'd let myself get. Sometimes I'd diet for a while, but I'd always find myself back at square one a few months later. Well, that phase is over now, thank God.

I'm also really surprised to still be getting so much joy over feeling good about my weight and body. It is just so nice to be able to walk around comfortably in the heat of summer, to go into stores and have them actually have my size, and to like what I see in the mirror.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn't realize a long time ago how good all of this would feel. Maybe if I'd known, I could have broken the weight gain cycle before it got too out of hand. At the same time though, I realize that it's only because I let things get so bad -- because I hit my personal rock bottom -- that I am able to really appreciate how good I have it now. I expect that if I hadn't experienced this whole journey that I'd probably look at myself and focus on my imperfections, instead of just feeling really happy and grateful to have come as far as I have. So, I'm grateful to have experienced all of this because I really like where I am right now.

Ahhhh! Amagansett!

Driving back from the beach in an open-topped jeep -- fun!

In keeping with this summer's trend, I went out of town last weekend. This time, I headed to the Hamptons -- to the town of Amagansett -- with my friend Hayley, who has a summer share out there. I really see a difference in how much I enjoy summer, the beach and hot weather with 79 pounds less on my frame. Actually, I enjoy it more than I did when I weighed this exact same weight in my 20s and thought I was too heavy (oh, foolish younger me. . .)!

Here is our house. . . beautiful inside and out!

The other people in the house were really nice, except for one person who I didn't really like. Here is a photo of me, with Hayley (in the middle), and E, who was staying in the house with her boyfriend, D.

Have you guys noticed that people say things about fat people in front of you now? Well, D is one of those people. He made a few comments through the weekend, primarily about how he thought that Ali, the current bachelorette is too fat. He later qualified that (after we all yelled at him) by saying that she is too "flabby" for national TV. Meanwhile, I think she's adorable. . and isn't she like 135 pounds on a 5'8 frame?! WTH?! Another time, he turned to an ad for plus-sized lingerie in a gossip magazine and was like "What is THAT??" His girlfriend told him "It's lingerie that comes in bigger sizes." . . and he said "Oh, underwear for Ali!" What a total jacka$$.
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I suppose that I could take from this that this idiot has no clue that I've had a serious struggle with my weight . . . in addition to the fact that he's a complete moron and jacka$$ (but then again, that would mean he was sensitive enough to consider my feelings before he spoke. . . hmmm. . . doubtful). I was lying on the beach with him, E and Hayley in my bikini all day Saturday. That was actually after the first round of Ali comments, and honestly, I didn't feel self-conscious around him at all. When I was younger, those comments probably would have had me wearing shorts and a one-piece all day long at the beach. But now, I feel great, and I'm not going to let some imperfect jerk take that away from me. So nyah!! :P

There was a sandcastle competition at the beach when we were there. . so many great entries! This was my favorite -- a school of dolphins, sharks and killer whales. . made by a group of very cute guys! What could be better? :)

Already looking foward to Halloween!

One of the things I've really been looking forward to about being thinner is getting to wear a cute, sexy outfit for Halloween! Last year, I was ready to do that, but I had a friend in town visiting over Halloween with her 13 month old, so going to a party was not in the cards. This year, however, it is!

I love the show Mad Men and think I'm going to go as Joan Holloway. Here is a photo of her. I have a great 1960s style emerald green dress that should be perfect, and just ordered a pencil necklace from Etsy.com. Now, all I need is a red wig (any suggestions for where I can get one that's already styled appropriately??), some fake eyelashes, and some seamed stockings! Fun!

Maine Stay

Nothing says summer like flip-flopped feeties!

I went to York, Maine last weekend with three friends (Marjorie, Monica and Laurie). This was my first trip to Maine, and I was in awe of how beautiful it is there!! It was a long drive up from the city (over 6 hours there. . ) but we spent the whole time talking and laughing, so it went by quickly. We really had a great weekend, though our time there was too short. I don't have time to do a lengthy post today, but I did want to share some of my photos with you. Here goes . . .

View from my room if I didn't bother to get out of bed! I could hear the ocean in the room!

View if I walked three steps to the window!

Adorable Maine house with buoys on the porch

The picturesque York lighthouse

Here we all are, hanging out on the rocks across from the lighthouse
(which is where we took the flip-flop feet photo) I love how this viewfinder photo turned out!

After a day at the beach on Saturday, we came back to the hotel, popped open a bottle of champagne, and enjoyed it while sitting out on the lawn overlooking the ocean. Some of us covered up to avoid the sun. . .

And some of us did not!
No stress here!

And, this pretty much sums it all up . . . :)

Coming Out!

Don't get excited. . . this isn't as exciting a revelation as Amy recently made! :) But I did finally tell C about my band. Leaving aside the issue that I'm the only person I know who can turn a rebound fling into a nine month affair. . . I wanted to tell you about how it went. You might remember that I had wanted to tell him for a long time. In fact, back in December, I wrote a post about this. One of the things I wrote about was what my concerns were about telling -- and since that hasn't changed, I'm going to recap that here:

Part of my fear in telling a guy about the surgery is that his perception of me will change. I think that's a legitimate concern. Part of that is that I don't want the person to suddenly look at me through some kind of "fat goggles" and suddenly find me as being less attractive. Another part of that is that I don't want the person judging me based on my inability to control my weight without the band. I'd hope that anyone I'd be serious aabout would view this as a positive though -- that I find a way to fix serious problems when I have them, and that I'm not afraid to make big changes or take calculated, well-researched risks when I need to do so to improve the quality of my life.

Telling C was interesting. We'd been having a serious talk about things going on in his life, and I decided that it was a good time for me to share this information about myself. He reacted in a really normal way. It turns out that he knew all about lap band surgery, since a friend's husband is a surgeon in the field, and he didn't seem shocked or to have any negative reaction at all. He just said that he was glad that it had worked for me and that I was happy that I'd done it. I told him that I'd been really curious about what his reaction would be and asked him if knowing about the band made him think of me differently -- he said that it didn't.

I also told him that I was surprised that he'd never asked me about my big scar, and asked if he'd ever noticed that I had a lump (i.e., my port) above it. He'd noticed the lump, but never thought to ask about either. Funny, right? I mean, here I am sweating it out that someone is going to freak out if they notice the port, and he noticed it and didn't even think to say anything about it!

I shared all of this with my friend Christina (my friend who lives in Berlin and gave me the beautiful bracelet and earrings as a goal present), and she made a really great observation that I want to share with you. This is what she said, and I think it's a great way for all of us to think about band surgery and to help others to think about it as well:

If your eyes are weak, you get glasses or lenses. If your teeth are not straight, you get braces. And, if you have [serious] problems with portion control, you get a band. And if a person takes the risk of the operation, then the pressure/annoyance/suffering they felt [because of their weight] must have been pretty strong. So, it is a good thing [for that person to] walk down the road of getting banded.

Comparison Shot. . . 21 Months Post-Band

This compilation turned out pretty tiny! But. . if you click on it, it gets frighteningly big! I have to get another full-length photo of myself in jeans and a black top so that I can do a proper comparison. BTW, I wrote size 8 on my current photo. . but that dress is a 10. I was going by Gap jeans sizes (which I used in the other photos), not the actual size of that dress. :)

I logged on today planning to do a post for new bandsters. . . about something I wish I would have done before my surgery or even shortly afterwards. I really wish that I would have taken more before photos (instead of cropping the heck out of everything for years) and that I would have taken one photo of myself in the same spot, in a similar outfit, every month from start to present. I would really like to be able to see (and post) a flip-book-type montage of those photos to see how much I've really changed. I saw one that another bandster did once, and it was incredible. She actually GREW TALLER (!) as the weight came off her frame! It was amazing and inspiring.

So. . if you're just starting out, consider doing this! Also, do yourself a favor and take lots of before photos and make a chart with your measurements on it. I say that all the time (mostly on Lap Band Talk) because that's the best advice I can give you at the outset. It's really nice to be able to calm yourself during a plateau (especially the plateau that happens when you start exercising in earnest) by seeing that the inches are coming off. So, that's my PSA for the day! :)

Summer Vlog

I thought it was high time for me to do another vlog! Here goes. . .

And, here is a photo showing the new dress I was wearing when I recorded the vlog. It's so much trendier, shorter, more bare-armed and more colorful than anything I would have dared to wear pre-band!

Ch-ch-changes!

I mentioned in my last post that my scale had bounced up four pounds (now three) in the last two weeks. I'm not being crazy about weight or anything -- I'm still thrilled to be (just) under my goal weight. But, I can actually see the difference that four pounds and two weeks with no gym makes for my body. At this weight, four pounds is a lot different than it was when I started! It's not that big of a difference, but I do see it. And this isn't the "change" I had in mind when I titled this post!

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The change is this. . . in the past, that four pounds would have been fourteen before I even got on the scale to notice it. But now, I'm nipping that gain in the bud, before it has a chance to become anything more. Before I was banded, I used to be so afraid to get on the scale. I'd avoid it for weeks -- even months, then feel terrible to see how much I'd gained. Now I'm on that sucker once a day. First thing in the morning (post-loo, pre-shower), I do a little check in on it to see how I'm doing. Keeping aware of and on top of my weight is one of the most important things for me to do during this maintenance phase. It's such a simple, easy thing to do.

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I also signed up for a spin class tonight, another one on Sunday, and will hit yoga on Saturday. That should do the trick! :) I wonder why this wasn't as easy for the old me as it seems to be now. I have to believe it has a lot to do with the band and all the changes it has helped me make!

Mom Update & Fun on Fire Island

Wow -- the last week or so has gone by so quickly. I was out in Florida the weekend before last to see my mother and make sure she was OK. Long story short, she still has to have a procedure, but she is doing well and feeling good. I was glad that I was able to go out there to see her. She was actually released from the hospital on Saturday, so we were able to spend time together. In fact, she was doing so well that we thought she would go back to work on Tuesday, and I called my brother and told him not to come down on Sunday after all.

During the weekend, I helped my mom around the house, but then on Monday morning, I wound up having to take her to the Emergency Room because she was having chest pains/discomfort. That was really stressful, and I was very worried. Her heart rate was very low, but she seemed OK. The worst part for me was having to leave for the airport while my mom was still in the ER. I felt just terrible about it, and I was bawling as I left to the point that one of the orderlies gave me a hug, and my taxi driver (who thankfully gave me a stack of napkins) reached back to squeeze my hand. It's kind of wonderful to see how nice people can be in a situation like this. Thankfully, my mom seems to be doing really well now, and the prognosis on her procedure is very promising.

In other news, I went out to Fire Island with a few friends this weekend and had a great time. Unfortunately, I had to come back early today (Sunday) because I had to work all day, but we really made the most of the time out there.

Heading to the beach on Saturday, we saw this wounded deer hopping down the way. The park rangers take care of these animals, so I'm hopeful that he got some help!

Out and about on Saturday night.

My friends and I headed to Ocean Beach on Saturday to check it out and have dinner. It's a lot busier and more crowded than the part where we stay, but fun to check out for a night.

On the ferry to Ocean Beach with Marjorie. I loved how the light came into this shot!

Colorful bicycles in Ocean Beach.

When you get off the ferry in Ocean Beach, there is basically a "parking lot" for the wagons people use to cart in their groceries and other things. I'd never seen anything quite like it, and had to take a photo!

In band-related news, the emergency trip to Florida and the incredible amount of things I have going on at work right now are not helping me get to my aspirational goal. It was actually very hard for me to make good food choices in Florida, and it's been difficult for me to fit in my usual workouts. I was not surprised to see the scale up when I got back last week. It was up a whopping 4 pounds. . though only 3 as of Thursday. I have a hell of a week in store at work, but am going to try to at least get to the gym on Tuesday, and again on the weekend, assuming I will not be going to Florida then. That depends on whether my mom has her procedure on Friday or it gets pushed off to a later date. Fingers crossed for it to go extremely well whenever it goes forward. Also, I wanted to thank all of you for your nice comments. I really appreciated your concern, and I know my mom did as well.

Hospital Frustration

I spent the last several days in Florida with my mother, and returned to NYC last night. She was in the hospital for six days, the last three of which she spent waiting for her electrocardiologist to bother to show up . . . which he never did, despite that his office kept saying he would be by for rounds. It was very frustrating, to say the least, and we raised complaints about it that have gone up to the highest administrative levels of the hospital.

Finally, on Saturday, they just sent my mom home with two prescriptions and no surgery. Yesterday morning, we wound up back in the Emergency Room, since she was having a lot of pressure in her chest, and when we called her cardiologist, that is where he told us to go.This morning, my mom is supposed to be going in for a cardiac catheter (which will involve an angioplasty if needed). Unfortunately, I had to come back to New York yesterday. The plan had been that my brother would come in on Sunday and we'd overlap a day. But, once my mom was discharged from the hospital, we told him not to come because we thought my mother would be returning to work today. He will get there this afternoon, but I felt so badly leaving without him being there already, and with my mom on a bed, hooked up to tubes and machines in the Emergency Room.

A bright spot in all of this is that my mom worked in this hospital for about 20 years, so she knows almost everyone, and there is a constant stream of visitors and calls from friends and colleagues. So, at least she will not feel too alone until my brother gets there.

Thank you all for your nice messages, prayers and thoughts. I printed out my last blog with all of the posts and brought it to Florida with me so that my mom could read it. She was really touched and appreciated it very much. :)

Worried

I wasn't sure if I was going to post about this, but it's a big deal to me and I wanted you to know it was going on. When I was coming back from Austin on Monday, I noticed that I had two missed calls from my mom (not unusual -- we talk nearly every day) -- and two urgent "Please call me ASAP. Need to get in touch with you" texts from my brother. I called him immediately. It turns out that my mother had some heart problems (we thought heart attack, but it's not 100% clear if that's what it was) on Sunday night and was in the hospital. Actually, she is still there and will be for two more days.

By all accounts, my mom will be fine, but this is really upsetting to me. My mom and I are really close. Some of you will remember that she actually came to Mexico with me for my band surgery and slept on a sofa bed in my hospital room the night of my surgery so that I wouldn't be alone and she could be there if I needed anything. She's the kind of mom who would literally give me the shirt off of her back if I needed it (fortunately, these days, there is a chance it might fit..), and who has been one of my biggest and most constant supporters in life in general, and certainly through this process. So, the thought of anything happening to her is just extremely upsetting to me, and I'm so glad that she seems to be OK and receiving good care.

With my mom on our trip to New Mexico over Labor Day Weekend

My mom reads so many of your blogs (she especially loves Roo, Sarah, The New Me, Cara, Amy and Angie) and posts once in a while as "Kathy." I know that she follows a lot of bandster blogs (without being a signed-up follower) and is always happy to see how well everyone is doing. So, please keep her in your thoughts right now and send her your prayers, best wishes, good vibes, etc. for a speedy recovery. It can't hurt, and it's bound to help at least a little. :)

SEVENTY-NINE!!

I was not expecting to see the scale down this morning!! But there it is. I'm now 4.2 pounds below goal and 5.8 above my aspirational goal. Wow. I did not expect that after the weekend, despite that I didn't eat too much. We had enough wine calories that I figured that would make up the difference!

July 4th Weekend

I had a great 4th of July weekend in Austin, Texas, visiting with my best friend and her sister and brother-in-law (Christi & Mike, who are both friends of mine from college as well). This is the third year in a row that I've spent the 4th at Christi and Mike's house, and I really had a wonderful time! We basically spent the whole weekend floating in the pool, chatting, laughing and having some very nice wine!

Here is a link to my post from last year's 4th of July trip. I've only lost 31 pounds since this time last year, but it's really made a big difference. Here is a comparison shot:

What I love about the photo on the left is that, even though I have 30+ more pounds on me, I was still down almost 50 pounds then, and I felt fantastic. The bathing suit I was wearing is a 14 or a 16, and I liked it so much that I actually bought the exact same one (shown at right) in a size 10 this year! (It sits a bit too low without the straps on. . . but who wants strap lines?!)

I also made plans during this trip to catch up with my friend David, who was a good friend in high school and lives in Austin with his wife and small son. I felt ready to catch up with old friends last year (after avoiding this during the years when I was heaviest), but the timing didn't work with our other plans. It was great to see David and to find that he's still someone I would pick for a friend. It was interesting to find out that our interests had grown in similar areas (food, wine, travel) as we've gotten older and that we still have so much in common.

I hope you all had a great 4th!