Shower Power!

With all of the reflection I've been doing on my pre-op journal, I completely forgot to post about the shower I threw on Thursday! It turned out to be a lot of fun, and people didn't start leaving until after midnight (it started at 7), which I take to be a good sign!

Here is the invitation I made . . with the square brown envelope (to match the brown & blue of the wedding invitations). I drew this caricature of the bride & think it turned out to be a decent likeness!

Here is a better image of the file I printed from. . .

The food turned out really well (and I had no trouble eating, which was good, since I didn't know everyone there that well and only the bride knows about my band). I made my favorite salad (arugula with dates, Fuji apple, caramelized walnuts, shallots and manchego) and. . . a Paula Dean recipe for shrimp with cheese grits that is so delicious (it involves a lot of butter and cheese. . and bacon. . hmm. . wonder why I didn't lose weight last week. . . ). Then, we had cupcakes (from Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery . . so much better than Magnolia!) for dessert. Yum yum!

The bride-to-be! I love the shirt!

Four friends, laughing their heads off (not sure at what)! Check out the cute cupcake stand on the table (which you can kind of see. . .) . . a friend at work lent it to me!

We only did one game -- I had the groom come to my office before the shower and videotaped him answering some Newlywed Game-type questions. Then, the bride had to guess what he answered. . and the guest who correctly guessed how many the bride got right won a cute travel package of yummy L'Occitaine body products. I was able to hook my camera up to my TV, so after she answered, I could play back his answers. It was a big hit, and a lot of fun! I would definitely do that again if I throw another shower.

And, on another note, here is a photo of me with my youngest cutie pie nephew from the weekend before last, after we saw The Lion King (which was amazing)!

Reflections on Pre-op Journal II

Another thing I did before my surgery was to write out a Plan For Success. I did this back in October 2008. Here is what it says (I thought this might be helpful for other pre-op bandsters. . ):

Plan for Success:

In reading one of my "band" books tonight, I came across an article that said that having a game plan can really improve my chances for success.

I've been thinking of a few things I can do, but hadn't really formalized a plan. So, here goes:

THINGS I WILL DO TO HELP MYSELF SUCCEED:
- Tell family and friends about the surgery so that I will have a support network (and won't feel weird when eating with them) - (DONE!)

- Commit to staying exactly on my pre-op clear liquids diet - (DONE!)

- Commit to the post-op plan of 2 weeks full liquids, then 2 weeks of soft foods - (DONE!)

- Think of ways to celebrate my birthday with friends where eating won't be an issue (maybe a girl's day at Ohm?) - (DONE! Had a great time at Ohm Spa, by the way!)

- Hire a personal trainer as of 11/08/08 (I didn't do this on schedule, but I did hire the trainer and recommitted to exercising in a serious way . . see bruise photo from previous post!)

- Keep good, correct foods in the house. (DONE!)

- Avoid alcohol to the extent possible. (I could be better about this to be perfectly honest. . is just such a big part of my social life that it's hard to really avoid, plus I love a nice glass of wine)

- Commit to taking SMALL bites and chewing until food is dissolved (DONE! I'm not perfect, but I do a pretty good job at this)

- Commit to small sips (Honestly, this hasn't been all that necessary)

- Commit to avoiding calorie-filled beverages (DONE! Well, except for wine!)

- Journal/blog regularly and chronicle your success -- AND admit it if you mess up (DONE! And is an on-going part of my plan!)

- Look for NSVs if/when your weight plateaus (I'm doing this!)

- Try out the support group at NYU (I haven't done this, but I feel like LBT and the people who I know through my blog do what I would have hoped a support group to do)

- Be proactive about your care -- don't wait so long for a fill that you gain weight. (DONE!)

- Measure yourself periodically and write down your measurements (DONE!)

- Know that this is not going to be easy, but that this will be worth while. And, know that this WILL be easier than staying on a diet on your own for a whole year, then maintaining your weight long-term. (So true -- and I do fully know that.)

- Try to notice NSVs (like less foot and back pain) as they occur (DONE!)

- Make mini-goals for yourself, e.g. 10 lb goals, and feel free to reward yourself with facials, massages, nice mani/pedis, etc. (Oh believe me. . DONE!) :)

- Go through your closet and "size" it so that you won't miss wearing cute things that you like on the way to goal (DONE!)

- Don't read too much about negative/failure stories on the lap band chat rooms. (DONE! I do read some of those stories, but I don't get sucked in, which accomplishes my fundamental objective.)

- When you start going to restaurants again, do trial runs with your friends who know about the surgery (plus, will be fun). (DONE!)

- Don't get disproportionately upset if any of your good friends don't understand, say the wrong thing, etc. They love you, and no one is perfect. (Honestly, my friends have been pretty freaking amazing. I'm very lucky in that way.)

- Focus on your other hobbies and interests (Get new letterpress projects, enjoy the Van Gogh course at MOMA) - (DONE! Unfortunately, the Van Gogh course was totally sold out, so I never did get to take it, but I've been spending more time on my hobbies, which is always very enjoyable).

I hope that was helpful and/or interesting!

Reflections on my Pre-Op Journal

I was responding to a post on LBT earlier tonight, and it inspired me to go back and look at the pro/con list that I made for myself when I was deciding whether or not to go forward with my band surgery. I did a side-by-side list, but I don't think the formatting will work here, so I'll do the cons first (with my comments now that I know how they played out) and the pros. . . Here goes:

Cons:

- Surgery and related pain (honestly, was so much less of a big deal than I'd expected)

- Having to radically change how I eat and drink (again, much less of a big deal than I thought it would be);

- Small risk of complications (thank God, so far, so good);

- Reflux, PBing, getting food stuck (no reflux problems, and PBing and getting stuck are annoying/ gross, but not really that big of a deal compared to getting my weight under control);

- Worried that I won't enjoy nice restaurants or cooking anymore (totally a non-issue. . that hasn't changed a bit. Only thing is that I can't generally finish my meal, so it's a bit wasteful, but I still love the experience, enjoy the flavors and have fun entertaining at home);

My star-crossed love. . . Pellegrino water!

- No soda, champagne, sparkling water (OK, I admit it! I miss my Pellegrino! But it's a small sacrifice that is outweighed by how my band is treating me! And, I've been off my (at least) once-daily Diet Pepsi since October and don't really miss it. Champagne is actually fine with my band. I would have really missed that! Honestly, I could probably have Pellegrino and soda, but I feel like I owe it to my band to stick with the program -- it isn't that hard to be good on that front.)

- Looking weird when I'm at dinner with others (I've figured out how to work around that, so it's a non-issue)

- Risk of needing cosmetic surgery later (It doesn't look like I'll need a body lift, but I may want a breast lift when all is said and done. I don't see that as a negative though -- it just is what it is).

OK, so on to the Pros. . .

Pros:

- Thin for the rest of my life;

- Better clothes;

- More attractive;

- Less risk of heart disease, diabetes, joint pain, back pain;

- Won't keep just getting fatter every year;

- Won't want to avoid people I haven't seen for a while ;

- No more berating self about weight;

- Tinier, so won't have to worry about fitting/comfort in planes, trains, kayaks. . ;

- More comfortable in bathing suit and most other clothing;

- May cure compartmental syndrome (which, see 2 posts ago, it seems to have done!)

- No more hosiery-noise (I so hate that corderoy-pants whistle noise. . . Getting there on that one. . .)

- Alleviate foot pain. . . hello more heels! (So true!)

- Won't be a fat bride (well, assuming I ever get married, of course!)

- Look better naked (too true!)

- Standard bath towel will wrap around with room to spare (and it does!)

Shout Out to The Dash!

Just a quick note to shout out to Cara and wish her the very best for her surgery today. I hope that you have a speedy recovery and that all goes extremely well today! Welcome to Bandland!

The first rule of Fight Club. . .

OK, just kidding. . .but I DO feel a little bit like I've been to Fight Club. . . well, my arms and legs look like it at least! Tonight was my second time at Boot Camp, and it went much better than the first time.

For starters, I was actually pretty much able to do able to do everything (not even remotely perfectly, and I'm one of the slowest runners, but I didn't have to take any sit-down-and-rest-type breaks . . just a few "cheats" on repetitions when I just couldn't do any more) and I did all of the running without having any problems with the compartmental syndrome that bothered me when I was heavier.

I'm pretty sure that I never posted about the compartmental syndrome issue before, so I'll do that now. When I was at my heaviest, I was trying to lose weight and signed up to run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I bought some cute running clothes and tried running. . . BUT, I had a problem where the fascia (basically, muscle coating) on my calf muscles was not flexible enough. So, when I'd run, my muscle would swell up due to the impact, but the fascia would contain it.

Um, OUCHHHHH!!! My left leg got the worst of it at Boot Camp. . . Waaaaaaaaah!

Basically, it was as though I had really tight, binding SaranWrap around the muscle. Because the muscle had nowhere to go, it would compact on itself, which cut off my circulation (my calf would go numb) and was really painful. I'd gone to a special sports doctor here in NYC to see what could be done about it, and to this day, I think it was really weird that he never even hinted that the problem could be my weight. Actually, I e-mailed him to ask him about that after my last visit with him, and he never responded. I think he was worried that I was trying to find comorbidities so that insurance would pay for my band, but I really was just curious.

Interestingly, now that I've lost 44 lbs, I'm able to do all of the running in this class without even a hint of a problem with my calf muscles. NSV IN THE HIZ-OUSE!!! :)

I'm Alive!!

I survived my first day of boot camp! Honestly, it was the hardest workout I've ever done, and I thought I was going to pass out or throw up at a few points. AND they went "easy" on me today because it was my first class.

Exactly what I looked like after class. . . er, except that I was half passed out on the sofa and icing my leg with a bag of peas!

The people in the class were really nice and very helpful (as helpful as people who are being worked out to capacity can be, anyway!), and I liked that part of it. But OMG, it was HARD!!!! I mean, it was even hard for the people who are thin and in good shape!

I'm going back tomorrow and will see how it goes. I'm a little afraid to see how sore my muscles are tomorrow. I have a big bruise on the inside of my knee from this rope thing I had to climb across. They had us run a lot of laps (but mostly just 2 at a time, so it wasn't too far). Toward the end of the workout, one of the instructors took me aside to show me the whole course and had me do things like climb over hurdles, climb up a rock wall, swing over water on a rope and then crawl on my belly under a net on the other side, etc.

At one point, I was so tired and he made me run a lap. I was so tired that I had to walk it, and he made me run another one (with the threat of doing another if I stopped running)! Fortunately, the walked lap got my heart rate down, so I was OK.

I also had to do 100 situps with a classmate -- we had to both put our feet together inside a tire. Then, she'd do a situp with a weight bar and I'd do one without a bar at the same time, and we'd trade the bar in the middle and do the opposite. . for 100 situps! I thought the instructor was JOKING when he said how many we had to do!

Still, it felt so good to use my body and to be pushed (I mean. . when I wasn't about to puke or faint, of course! J/k. . sort of). I know I'm lazy about really working hard in the gym, and without this kind of structure, I will generally do as little as I can get away with. I'm still a bit scared of the class, but I'm going back tomorrow (assuming I can still walk. . . ). I just try to keep in mind how great this is for my WL goals and for toning and shaping up.

Shower Prep!

I mentioned the wedding I am going to in July, but may not have mentioned that I'm throwing a shower for the bride at my apartment on Thursday night. We decided to do this as a dinner because none of us are that in to the traditional bridal shower thing.

In preparation, I bought a damask tablecloth and hot pink runner on etsy.com. Here is how the table looks so far! I still need to iron everything and polish the glasses, etc., but you get the idea.

Am thinking it's looking pretty festive!

The shower should be fun -- we'll be 8 girls, and I'm preparing the meal myself, which is something I enjoy doing. I'm just doing my favorite salad, followed by a Paula Dean recipe for shrimp with cheese grits (the grits are not on the diet, to be certain!) and cupcakes. Very simple and hopefully will be very low stress.

Shopping Spree. . .

My mom is in town for Memorial Day weekend, and she is -- bar none -- my favorite person to go shopping with. She just has infinite patience, a great eye, and I also really trust her opinion. Today, we were looking at dresses for me to wear to the wedding of my friends Erica & Adam. I'm a bridesmaid (one of two) in the weddding, and Erica only set a few basic guidelines (no black, no red, and no one-shoulder gowns -- her dress is one-shoulder). Very reasonable.

Did I mention that I will be seeing my ex-boyfriend (of the Peter Pan Avoidance Tour) at this wedding? Yes, I probably did. What I haven't blogged about is that I found out he basically started dating the very next girl he even spoke to after we broke up (some random he met on his trip to Kilimanjaro last September (!!!)). By all accounts, it's nothing serious, but it really sticks in my craw (a) that he moved on to another relationship -- regardless of the grade -- so quickly; and (b) that I am probably going to have to see him with this girl at our friends' wedding. Honestly, I've been thinking about it way too much, and the whole prospect is very upsetting to me.


So, obviously, I need to look amazing at this wedding. As in "Oh-My-God-Look-At-Her" Amazing. Also, as in "Oh-My-God, How-Did-I-Lose-That-Amazing-Woman?!?! I-Am-An-Idiot!" Amazing.


You're beginning to understand the importance of today's shopping extravaganza, aren't you? :) So, during the week, I called up the shopper I use at Saks (I know. . I'm fancy like that . .) and another one at Lord & Taylor (amazing dress department). Leaving aside that the L&T shopper was a freaking nightmare (seriously. . showed up late, looked like sh*t, had only pulled 3 dresses, was MIA for basically the whole appointment -- and on personal calls on her cell when she actually was around. Hello. . isn't retail in crisis?), we had a great time.

Turns out that I actually love Badgley Mischka more than I even thought. There were two standout dresses today, and both were from that designer. The first one (at L&T) was this emerald silk wonder that made me feel fantastic. Truth be told, it was way too formal for this wedding, but I loved it anyway.

The second one is the one in the photo. Admittedly, this is a size too small (wedding is in late July & it will need to fit then), so the hip part is bunched up and the cleavage is a bit more than it will be then. But, I really like it. The color and the cut are just what I wanted.

Also, today was a big NSV for me. For the past many years, every time I've gone shopping, all I did was focus on the flaws in my figure -- how dismayed I was about not being thinner, how disgusted and embarrassed I was with/about myself for having gained weight, etc. But today, I just felt great. I know this dress does not fit perfectly yet -- and it's still obvious that I have a way to go to get to goal, but I just felt so good about where I am at this particular moment in time, and where I am headed in the next several months. I attribute a lot of this to my band and to how far I've come with that extra help.

Data on my Rate-a (of loss with the band. .)

I took time today to figure out my average rate of loss per week and thought you guys might be interested to know what it is. . . . turns out that since just prior to surgery, I've lost an average of 1.43 lbs per week.




I'm definitely not the fastest-losing bandster out there, and I've seen plenty of people blow right by me. That said, slow and steady is working for me. Yes, I get frustrated when it takes a long time to get to a particular number on the scale, but I never doubt that I'll get there eventually.


I was actually surprised to find out the rate -- I had thought I was only losing about 1 pound each week! If anyone wants to comment on how they are doing on average, I'd be interested to know how it is going for you. No matter what the rate, it sure seems like we're all doing fantastically!

Also, I wanted to mention that I haven't had a fill since March 13th. That 2.85 ccs in my 5 cc band seem to have gotten me to a sweet spot. For me, the sweet spot means that I can't very much, but I usually can eat enough not to draw a huge amount of attention to myself when I go out to dinner with people who don't know I am banded. So I think anyway. . it never fails that the waiter asks if there was something wrong with my meal. . .

Gulp! I signed up today. . .

I'm officially signed up & paid up for eight weeks of Boot Camp. . 3 times a week! I'm scared and not really sure if I'll be able to hack it. Still, I want to give it a try. I can quit after the first class if it's just horrible. I really hope that I like it. I want to get that last 30 lbs off and I know that this will help me an incredible amount.

Also. . . FORTY-FOUR!

So, after all that stalling, my weight finally jumped down 2.8 lbs yesterday. I wasn't sure that the number was real, but it's still on the scale today, so I guess it is! Happily, I think that still keeps my weight loss rate right around the same rate.

I just got a glimmer of how totally psyched I am going to be the day I get to post the big five-oh. Must be patient and enjoy 44 for the moment!

Pure Power. . . or Sheer Hell? :)

Last night, I went to have my hair done, and I was talking with my stylist about exercise. She is a runner (and has a super great tiny figure) and told me about this program she has been doing called the Pure Power Boot Camp.

Basically, it's an intensive 8-week program where you have to commit to either 3 or 4 days a week (depending on your program), and they work you out, military style, for an hour each time. It's not just any old workout . . there is an obstacle course, a rock wall, hurdles, walls to pull yourself over, etc. Honestly, it sounds really scary. Here is a link to the site: http://www.purepowerbootcamp.com/
Still, my stylist told me that there are people of all shapes and sizes in her class, including a woman who is around 300 lbs (they give people varying things to do, based on fitness level). Of course, she also said that it's not unusual for people to throw up during the workout (greaaaat. . . ) so I'm kind of scared! I'm not in great shape. . but I'd really like to be. And, I need something to kick me in the bee-hind and get me going. I'm not 100% sure about doing this, but I am at least going to check it out.

Can you imagine? If I can make it through the six weeks, I bet that I would drop weight a bit faster and get toned up in a hurry for summer. . . . Stay tuned!

The Sisterhood of the Traveling XL Dress :)

I was so thrilled by how great Angie looked in the dress that I sent her, that I decided to send some other clothes to another bandster on Friday. This package went to Linda, whose surgery date is June 5th and who will be needing the sizes I sent to her very shortly!

I sent her this great wrap dress from Eileen Fisher, some capris and a pair of jeans as well. Fingers crossed that she likes them and that they fit well!

Not the best photo of the dress -- it's much better on! Also, it's polished enough for work, but as comfortable as wearing your bathrobe!

I like the idea that these clothes may change a few bandster hands over the next year or so, as we all continue to lose weight and keep changing sizes.

As for my own clothing needs, I've been doing quite a bit of shopping in my own closet! On Friday, I was able to wear (drumroll, please!) a pair of gray Banana Republic pants that I'd forgotten I had. And, they fit wonderfully! I haven't been able to shop at Banana for years, and it used to be one of my favorite stores.

Today, I had brunch with my friend Nadia, then we walked around Soho (our usual post-brunch routine) and did some shopping. For the first time in years, I actually tried on a few things and was excited about going into different stores. I even went into Bloomingdales and tried on a few long gowns for my friends' wedding in July. AND, they fit and looked good (not good enough to buy, but good enough that I wasn't hating what I saw)!

I consider this to be a big NSV for me, and a significant moment in my WL journey. Honestly, hitting the 40+ lb mark has made a huge difference, and I feel like it was a very significant landmark in this process.

Confessions of a Gym Avoider. . .

Confession time. . . I am totally not going to hit 3 workouts during the time I mentioned in my last post. I thought I should come clean about my delinquency.



I don't know what was wrong with me this weekend, but I just could not motivate to get to the gym. So, I will recommit to doing better this week. I don't know why I'm having such a time getting there. I actually like working out . . it's more a question of getting to the gym. You may ask. . "Why Catherine, how far is your gym? Is it a LONG trip to get there??" And I would have to admit that it's only a few floors away. . in my apartment building. LAME!

Plateau. . .

I seem to have hit a plateau. The scale just isn't moving at the pace it's been going for the past six months. I base this on how tough it's been to get off the last 2.6 lbs (I'm at 41.6 down today).

I've been thinking about things I can do to get the scale moving again. . . and the only real answer seems to be that I need to get more serious about hitting the gym. I've been working out with my trainer again (but only once a week), but if I'm going to be honest about it, I haven't been very diligent about going to yoga or swimming.

So, dear readers, you are my witnesses. I am going to commit to working out three times between today and Monday. That should help to get me back on track. I really want to hit 45 sooner than later!

Mind & Body

Someone posted on LBT recently, asking whether people felt that the physical or mental changes of losing weight/having the band have been more difficult. I thought this was a really interesting question.

For me, neither the physical or mental part has been very hard (maybe I should thank my therapist and dr. for this!). I guess getting used to how I have to eat now -- which is part mental, part physical -- is the biggest challenge, but it has not been all that difficult. All in all, the changes I've had to make have such a good outcome that it's colored my outlook in a really positive light. Things like planning meals, chewing, getting stuck and sliming don't seem like a big deal to me in contrast.

So, that's the physical side. On the mental one, I guess I'm not exactly sure what I look like right now to other people, but I feel like I'm getting back to the lighter, more attractive version of myself that I was 10 years ago. I can't believe I am only just over 30 pounds from goal. And yesterday, I thought about my start weight and it seemed so surreal to me that I could have ever been that heavy. Does anyone else get that feeling?

I will say that, before the band, the idea of losing 40 lbs just seemed like an impossible goal. Yet now, losing 70 lbs and keeping it off seems a very realistic goal, and I feel confident that I will be able to do this. Thank God! Literally! :)

The other night, I went to Macy's to pick up a present for my mother, and it was the first time in years that I stopped to look at clothing. Shopping just stopped being fun once I got into bigger sizes. It was a surprise for me to realize how long it had been since I just browsed like that.

Wrapping my brain around it. . .

I've been thinking about what losing 40 pounds really means. So, tonight, when I was at the gym, I picked up a 40 lb dumbell and carried it for a few seconds. It was pretty darned heavy. It's so strange to think that I was walking around carrying that much more weight every single day. I wonder what it will be like after I am 60 down to pick up that much weight and think about what that really means for my body. I will say that it makes total sense that my feet don't hurt anymore. . .

Just for fun, I ran a few searches on Google for things that are 40 lbs. Apparently, I lost the equivalent of this fish in body weight! Weird!!

Measuring Up, Part 3

I'm at another 10 lb point (am actually down 41.2 today!) and took my measurements this morning. I have lost . . . (are you sitting down?!?) 17.95 inches. WOW.

-

Since the last time I reported my measurements (March 11th), I'm down another 6.15 inches.

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Here is how the weight has come off, based on the measurements I took two days before my surgery:

-

Waist: -5 inches
Hips: -5.25 inches
Chest: -3 inches (whew . . no more loss here since last time!)
Wrist: -.5 inch
Forearm: -.7 inch
Thigh: -1.4 inch
Calf: -1 inch
Ankle: -.3 inch
Upper Arm: .8 inch

-

I had a really nice NSV last night. I went to go see Branford Marsalis play at the Jazz Standard (cute small jazz club that is part of the Blue Smoke restaurant) with my friend Maria. Maria is one of my closest friends, but I don't see her that often -- she has 2 young daughters, is expecting her 3rd (a boy!) and owns her own investor relations business. So, I haven't seen her since right after my surgery.

-

I hadn't told her how I was doing with the band (though I did tell her about it months ago) and she was surprised by how I looked! She told me I was "channeling myself 10 years ago"! :) Of course . . 10 years ago, I weighed 25 lbs less than I do right now. . but who's counting! :) Was really nice to get such a great reaction from her.

James Beard Awards

Being banded certainly doesn't mean that I don't appreciate wonderful food! So, last night, I went to the James Beard Awards with my friend Erika. The awards were held at Avery Fisher Hall (part of Lincoln Center) and were followed by a dinner prepared by all female chefs, as the night's theme was to honor women in the industry.

It was a star-studded event to be sure! After the awards ceremony, there was a dinner -- served cocktail party style, with each table having a different small dish or a different drink. This was perfect, since virtually everything was band-sized and many of the dishes were band-appropriate. In particular, I had one dish that was a green apple sorbet with the most succulent crab meat ever. It was 2 bites of wonderfulness!

OK, so on to the celebrity sightings. Those of you who are foodies and/or love the Food Network will appreciate this! At the dinner, I got to speak with Dan Barber (I love Blue Hill at Stone Barn), Alain Ducaisse and others . . and was within inches of Mario Battali, Jacques Pepin (adorable - he smiled at me!) and Tom Colicchio (Top Chef) for much of the night! Other people who I saw there were Martha Stewart, Daniel Boulud, Lydia Bastianich, Emeril Legasse (who co-hosted), Stanley Tucci (same) and Cat Cora (same), who was pregnant and looking wonderful. Also, the cute blonde guy (Jeff) from last season's Top Chef was there.

What a night! It was easy to do this event as a bandster because of the very small portions, and I just picked from the best things there (asparagus wrapped in thinly sliced beef carpaccio from grass-fed organic cows. . hello!). Most dishes were healthy, so that also helped!

FORTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About time!! :) I thought that last bit of a pound would never come off! I'm now in a new number range. . . that I haven't seen for a loooooong time. Woo-hoo!

Mini-Grr (while counting my blessings. . .)

So, it's April 30th today. My big pre-op six-month goal was to be down 40 lbs by the end of April. How did I do? 39.6 pounds.

Yes, that measely .4 has hung on for dear life, despite that I was especially good during the last 2 days and also got my butt kicked in the gym by my trainer last night! I know it's a TOM (time of month. .) issue, but darn it!! I wanted to see that new number today!

I really hope to be able to post a 40 tomorrow. I guess if I lose it by the morning, that still will count! :) :) I'm not really complaining -- I am thrilled to be doing as well as I am. BUT, I didn't come this far to have my goal foiled by some tenacious .4!

The Privacy Balance. . .

Most of you know from prior posts that I've told my closest friends and most of my family about my band. I also am trying hard to keep my band life and work life (professional reputation, etc) separate -- and I'm still struggling with the balance.

Funny enough, this subject came up in a recent string on LBT that led to a pretty heated discussion, mainly because the original poster was making some very ignorant and inflammatory statements about how not telling people is morally and socially irresponsible, etc. I completely disagree with that. Still, I do struggle with keeping my privacy at work vs. being open with the people there who I really like and consider as friends.

The way I have to look at is that the moment I tell one or more people at work, I will have to expect that other people (who I do not want to share this with) will find out. So, if I want to keep any privacy at work, I need to stick to sharing this information with purely personal friends and family. As the old saying goes. . the best way to keep a secret is not to tell anyone. . .

Yesterday, a colleague who I really like and consider to be a friend asked me about my weight loss. She is very thin, but her mother is more than 100 pounds overweight, and she is trying to inspire her to lose. It sounds as though the family is very involved in trying to get the mother to diet, mainly out of concern for her health. I gave her the best advice I could (without mentioning my band) and suggested that her mom look into surgery as an option. Part of me wanted to tell her, in the hope that it would help her mother. But, the small chance of that happening vs the sacrifice of my personal medical privacy just did not make that an option that I was willing to take. Funny enough, I learned in that conversation that my friend is completely opposed to WLS and has discouraged her mother from considering bypass surgery.

I feel that I made the right decision for me, but that does not mean that it wasn't hard not to tell this person who I like and consider as a friend. If you have this situation, how are you handling it?

Spring Closet Cleaning!

Today, I had some of the most fun I've ever had cleaning out my closet! My mother was here, and we turned up the disco music and went through pretty much everything in my closet to see what fit, what is too big, and what things might fit later that are worth keeping.

What? Whose pants could these be?!? :)

Yes, ladies & gentlemen. . . these pants USED to fit me! But that was then and this is NOW!! I'm down 39.8 lbs as of this morning - just on the cusp of 40!! The bathing suit I'm wearing is from 2005 and was too small until recently -- I've been wearing it when I go to the pool in my building to swim laps. Perfect!

Here I am in a new green Victoria's Secret halter maxi-dress (sorry you can barely see that dress, but I'll surely post some photos this summer). The dress I'm holding up is one that I think would look particularly great on a fellow bandster, and I've offered to send it to her if she's interested. I'm probably going to put the other stuff on eBay or give it to Goodwill, but this dress still had the tags on it and was just too cute to not do make a present of it to a fellow bandster who is doing great!

As for these capris. . . can you believe they were getting tight at the end of last summer? Wow. I feel like someone came into my closet with a magic wand and made all of my summer clothes a few sizes bigger. It's so amazing and surreal to try this stuff on, remember wearing it, and really SEE just how much a difference 40 lbs (ok. . 39.8) :) can make.

Room for two?

Have I mentioned that I love my band? :)

Scar Attraction. . .

Only time for a quick post this morning, but I have to say how great that Epidermis product is that I've been using on my scars. They have really faded a lot! I wish I would have known about this stuff at the beginning!

Here is the link again, in case anyone wants to get it. I posted more information about the product and what size is probably best in an earlier post. http://www.biodermis.com/scar_products/epi-derm

Happy 6-Month Bandiversary!

Today is my 6-month bandiversary, and all is going well. At this point, a few observations are that:

*I'm almost 40 pounds down!!

*I feel lighter and healthier

*Everyone has been noticing that I've lost weight

*I feel like I look much better

*I'm on the cusp of fitting back in my Banana Republic pants (though they really aren't in style anymore, so it's just a point of pride to have them fit properly!)

*I'm starting to get excited about shopping again

*I am about half way through the weight loss part of this journey, and feel confident that I'm going to get to goal and keep it off.

*I am really, really happy that I decided to get my band.

Happy 6-Month Bandiversary!!!

Wow!

I just realized that I've now lost more than one pound for every year I've been alive! (Let's make it two. . ) :) :)

THIRTY-NINE!!!!

My scale has been stuck at the same weight for nearly 2 weeks. So, this weekend, I mixed it up with what I was eating, and actually took in MORE calories than I'd been having (at the advice of some bandsters on LBT). Then, yesterday, I got back to my usual routine and swam and. . . . . lo and behold! The scale is down 2.2 lbs this morning.

I'm at 39 lbs down in total! It looks good for me to make it to 40 down by the end of April, which is where I hoped to be when I started this process!! YAAAAYYYY!!!

You know you're a bandster when. . .

It's raining tonight, and it's been nice to be at home. My new goggles from Speedo arrived today, so I went upstairs to my pool and swam laps for about half an hour, which was really wonderful!

I read the best post on LBT today -- it was 24 pages (!) worth of posts about "You know you're a bandster when. . . " I read every post -- and it was so interesting, entertaining and inspiring to read! I posted my thoughts as well and wanted to incorporate them into my blog. Here goes.

You know you're a bandster when. . .
. . every time the waiter comes to the table you rave about the food so that they won't ask (again. .) if anything is wrong with your meal!

. . . you can't find anything to wear because all of your clothes are too big!

. . . you have to go shopping to figure out what size you are!

. . . you update your signature on LBT every time you drop 1/10th of a pound! (But don't update it if it goes up a wee bit before you lose again. . . Or is that just me?) :) :)

. . . you are no longer terrified that you'll get stuck sitting in the middle seat on a flight (and all the seats are much more comfortable)

. . . if you get hungry, you are REALLY REALLY hungry, but get satisfied with just a few bites. (I've learned to stop myself from telling people who don't know about the band that "I am so hungry!" when we sit at the table because then they think it's really weird that I hardly touch my meal.)

. . . abbreviations like PB, WLS and NSV need no explanation! (Productive burp, weight loss surgery and non-scale victory for any newbies!)

. . . you lose weight over Christmas and Easter . . whereas in the past, you always used to gain!

. . . you read all 24 pages of the "You know you're a banster" thread because it's just so true and feels so good to see that other people are going through the same things you are!

Cooking with Catherine. . Part IV (I think!)

Today, I had my mother and her BF over for brunch. I found a recipe in the Williams Sonoma catalog that I was dying to try out, so they got to be my guinea pigs!


They also brought me 2 dozen gorgeous long stemmed red roses -- So nice!

I made an Asparagus, Goat Cheese and Prosciutto Frittata. WOW, was it yummy! I'm not saying that it was the most dietetic thing I've ever made, but this is a great recipe for brunch, and it went down just fine. I served it with a fresh loaf of whole grain bread (I bought a parbaked loaf & popped it into the oven for 18 minutes), fruit salad and sparkling wine (shown below), with an organic lemon cake as dessert.

The ingredients (er, except the tomatoes, which I added in on a whim at the last minute)

Here is the recipe (as modified by me):

10 eggs (recipe called for 12, but I was only serving 3 people)
3 Tbs. fresh chives (finely chopped)
1/4 Tsp. fresh tarragon (finely chopped)
2 Tbs. fresh chervil (finely chopped)
2 oz prosciutto (cut into 1/4 inch strips -- I also removed the fat)
1/2 tsp salt, plus more to taste
Freshly ground pepper to taste
6 oz goat cheese (crumbled)
2 lbs. asparagus, tough ends trimmed (I just used one bunch and that was enough -- I think it was a little over one pound)
2 Tbs. unsalted butter
1 leek, thinly sliced and rinsed well
6 petite roma tomatoes (not in the recipe, but added a nice flavor and color)


First, cut off the ends of the asparagus and steam them until they are just tender. I put them in a glass bowl (in photo above) with a little water in the bottom (about 1/2 cup) and steamed them in the microwave by cooking them for 2 minutes 30 seconds.

Then, whisk together the eggs, chives, tarragon, chervil, prosciutto, 4 oz goat cheese (save 2 oz for later), 1/2 tsp of salt and about 1/4 tsp of ground black pepper.

You just know this is going to be delicious
with all those amazing ingredients!

Next, put 1 tbs. of butter into your pan over medium heat (I used the same skillet for everything -- there is a photo below) and saute the leeks with a pinch of salt for about 4-5 minutes. Then, add in the tomatoes and cook for another 3 minutes. When they are done, put the leek and tomatoes into the bowl with the egg mixture.

You are going to want to set aside about 8 stalks of asparagus to use as decoration on the frittata. Cut the remaining asparagus into 1/4 inch pieces and add them to the egg mixture.

Put some more butter (I used a bunch -- not sure if I used the entire 2nd tbs) into your pan. I used my Calphalon 10 inch pan b/c it has a metal handle and can go in the oven. It's not non-stick, but that didn't turn out to be a problem, thankfully!

Then, pour the egg mixture into the pan. I wasn't really sure about the best way to cook this -- and had serious doubts about flipping it mid-stream -- so I cooked it on the stove top for about 5 minutes. Then, I put the asparagus on the top in a spoke pattern, as shown below.

And THEN, I cooked it in a 350 degree oven for another 20-25 minutes. When it came out, I flipped it out onto a plate (carefully!) and then used another plate to flip it over again so that the asparagus pattern showed.

Here is the finished product!

I am definitely going to make this again. Although I was nervous about how to cook it (the recipe I used called for a special $150 frittata pan. . totally unnecessary) and flipping it over, it was easy to make and everyone loved it. Bon appetit!

Comparison. . .

It is absolutely gorgeous in NYC today -- sunny, warm (well, warm enough!) and everyone is out and about, soaking it in! My mother is in town as of this morning (she and her long-time beau are meeting up here before going to Boston for the week). So, I asked her to take a full-length photo of me so that I could compare that photo to one that I took in a similar outfit in Germany in May of 2008.

Here is the photo from today:

And here is the one from May 2008:

It was interesting for me to be able to see some differences in my face, legs and mid-section. Slowly but surely, I'm getting there! Have a great weekend, everybody! :)

Accountability

A message that I got on Lap Band Talk today made me think about accountability and the things I'm doing now that keep me on top of my weight.

We were talking about getting on the scale every day -- and whether that is a good or a bad thing. For me, it's a positive. Weighing myself is part of my morning routine and is how I track how I am doing from day to day. I know that I bounce around a bit before I lose, so I don't get stressed if the number goes up from the lowest number before I hit a new post-Band record. I just find it a good way to stay on top of things and to remind myself that I'm accountable every day for what I eat.

This also made me think back to how I was behaving when I put on all of this weight. Aside from not watching what I was eating, a big part of how I let it get so out of control was that I didn't have a full-length mirror in my apartment for 5 years. Also, my scale wasn't in a spot where I could easily hop on and off (I had to move a basket of towels, drag it into the right spot, etc.).

In view of that, I was largely able to ignore just how much weight I was packing on. Of course, I had to keep buying bigger clothes, but that was infrequent enough that I didn't think about it on a daily basis. Now I have a full-length mirror and a good scale (my Homedics Health Station -- measures to the 10th of a pound and has been working well, despite a few glitches at the beginning). My scale also is in a spot where I can just get on & off without having to move anything other than my feet. So far, so good.

I'm working out with my trainer again tonight. Hopefully that will start making the numbers get smaller on the scale as well!

Easter Weekend Photos

I had a really great time in Florida over the weekend. Just being out of the freezing cold for the first time since winter started was a huge treat! Also, it was really nice to be with my family and to have a few days' break from the office. I went to the beach every day that I was there, and really loved sinking my toes in the sand and watching and hearing the waves in the ocean.

Me dying Easter eggs with my adorable niece & nephew.
My niece is missing her 3 front teeth, which made
for some cute & silly photos!

One of my favorite Easter traditions is that my mom has been known to make a bunny cake. We bake two round cakes, use one for the face, and cut a bow tie and ears out of the other. It was a total blast to decorate our cake with the kids! (Also, showing my true maturity level, when I cut the cake, I told my nephew that I "cut a bunny," which had him in stitches. . ) :)

Even after losing 36.8 lbs (today's count), it's still really hard for me to look at full-length photos of myself. When I saw the one below, I was like "What the. . ?!?" I honestly thought my hips were much smaller than this by now. I guess that the camera angle, pleats and color aren't helping me here. Nonetheless, since I'm The Queen of Crop, I forced myself not to chop this photo down and to preserve some evidence of what I looked like at this point in the journey. I'm not dwelling on the whole Being-Disappointed-That-I-Don't-Look-Thinner thing because I know that the weight is coming off, and I feel good about the healthy, slow rate at which I am losing. I also feel good because on this trip, I noticed how much more comfortable I am on the airplane now that my bee-hind is a whopping 4.25 inches smaller than it was when I started. It really made a difference.

I'm also including a photo of my mother below. She also has had some great weight loss success in that she has reached her goal weight! She had a number of pounds that she wanted to lose and has been dieting and getting good exercise since at least October. And, she really looks great! :)

Fun in the Sun!

I'm in Florida right now at my mother's house for Easter! I got here on Thursday afternoon, and overlapped with my brother, sister-in-law, niece & nephew for about 1 1/2 very fun days! They left this morning. We had a great day yesterday, spending the morning at the pool, the afternoon at the beach, and at night, I cooked dinner for everyone (a green salad followed by flounder and sauteed mushrooms).

Here is the flounder. . .

After dinner, we had my brother's family go for an errand, and my mother and I hid tons of presents and plastic eggs with coins in them all over the house. There were 32 things for the kids to find, and they had a blast tracking them all down! :) After that, we decorated a cake in the shape of a bunny, which was a lot of fun! I'll post photos when I get home!

I'm off to the beach shortly - - woo-hoo! It feels so great to get some sun after a LONNNGGGG winter in NYC! Plus, it also feels so good to be out there in my bathing suit weighing 36 lbs less than I did last time I was here. :) Yay, band!!

Fun with Food. . . in Chinatown!

On Sunday night, I met up with Marjorie and her friend M (who used to live in Shanghai and speaks Chinese) to go to a place that M heard was the best hot pot restaurant in NYC. The restaurant was a little hard to find, since it's right across from the Manhattan Bridge, on a stretch of Canal Street (125 Canal at Christie) that my cab couldn't get to -- I had to get out and walk across a pedestrian bridge to get there!

Here are Marjorie and M at the restaurant, with our hot pot spread in front of them!

I've never had hot pot before, and I was REALLY wondering just how this was going to go down. We ordered the pot with half spicy broth and half chicken broth (not spicy), and then put in our food so that it could cook. Fortunately, the meats were sliced very thin and everything cooked up to be relatively soft, so I was able to try everything without getting stuck at all!

Here is a close-up of our hot pot!

Another view of the meats, veggies and tofu

we cooked in the hot pot:

And, here is a blurry photo of me. .
The food was delicious, went down well, and it was very cheap by Manhattan standards -- not to mention that the company was very good. All in all, a successful dinner!

And, as of this morning, I'm down another .8 . . yay!!! I'm trying to get to (or past. . ) the 40 lb down point by April 31st, which I think is pretty realistic, though my weight has been stalling a lot lately. I started working out with my old trainer again last Monday, though with pay cuts at work, I don't think I'm going to be able to keep that up. Still, it was great to get a jump start on the exercise front, and I'm feeling motivated about getting to the gym in earnest now.

Fun at the Guggenheim

The Guggenheim Museum has parties on the first Friday of every month -- and they are really a lot of fun. They bring in a DJ, set up a bar, and open up the museum until midnight. It always draws a really fun crowd and gets pretty packed! Last night, I headed over with my friend Marjorie to meet a few other friends there.

Despite that we all got rained on and are looking a little frizzy, I thought I'd post a few photos.

Here is me remembering not to fall over the wall. . .

Self portrait of J, Marjorie & me

And another one of the crowd. Fun night!

Scar Fading. . .

One of my good friends recommended that I start using a scar-fade treatment called Epi-Derm. She had really good results with it, so I bought some on-line about 2 weeks ago (here is a link to the company's site, in case anyone is interested - http://www.biodermis.com/scar_products/epi-derm).

I bought the Gel Patch that cost $29, but in retrospect, I think I would have done better to get the $40 sheet. I just didn't want to spend that much before I knew whether it worked. So, now that I know it does, I'm going to buy more. I feel like it's really working well.

Also, I didn't realize at first that you are supposed to use medical tape to keep these on (they stay on fine without it during the day, but not so much when you're sleeping). Each strip that you cut (whether from a patch or a sheet) lasts about 10 days. . if you don't lose it! (You wash the patch and skin once a day.) So, a little bit should last a pretty long time if you use the tape.

Here is a new photo of my two scars.

And, below is the photo that I took on January 9, 2009. You can see that the big scar has gotten a bunch lighter and is no longer as red. As far as I can tell, most of that just happened in the last 2 weeks. Both scars also seem to be a lot more flush with the rest of my skin.

Thirty-five!!

Finally! It was taking forever to get down that one last pound to take me to 35! Of course. . that's because in the interim, the scale went back up 2 lbs as a result of me overdoing it a bit at the dinners and events I've had lately. But, it's down now. :)

I just realized that in 3 lbs, I will have lost a pound for every year I've been alive! I'm happy too that my initial prediction (that I'd be down 40 lbs by sometime in April) is pretty much right on target. Wow. I can't believe how smoothly all of this is going. Not that I don't get stuck and slime here and there, but by & large, it has just not been very hard.